I made sure I looked a little extra pretty today. I took an extra minute with my hair and made sure my eye makeup looked nice, remembering to use a little eyeliner.
As I went to get to dressed, I passed on wearing my favorite, if a little raggy, green sweater, for my nicer knit turtleneck..
No weekend-mom attire would do today. I had a date planned with someone very special, my eight-year-old son Peter.
It’s all he’s wanted to talk about all week.
Truth be told, I was looking forward to spending a little time with my youngest child. I was also glad to finally be able to check this off my To-Do list.
We had to reschedule it twice. Come hell or high water, this was my top priority this Sunday. I even had it clearly marked on the family calendar I keep in the kitchen: Mom and Peter. Noon. Mario’s Pizzeria.
Life with three kids ages 15, 12, and 8 is beyond crazy. I’ve never regretted my choice to stay home with my children, but lately the stress of life has been getting to me. I feel as if I’m rarely on my game anymore.
My husband’s job and long commute into work each day means that during the week, between around 6:00 in the morning until around 9 or 10 at night, I’m the only parent on call.
The weekend is the one time I have some coverage, and I often find myself desperate for a little alone time.
I was a little surprised when I saw that Peter didn’t have his shoes on yet.
“Hey. Is my date ready?”
“I don’t want to go today.”
For a minute I felt a pang of relief. I woke up with a splitting headache, and the cold I’ve been fighting for weeks seemed to be winning. Staying home wouldn’t be bad at all. But I also knew that I needed this outing as much as Peter did.
“Really, you have talked about this all week. The bus driver said you even got sad when you passed Mario’s the other day, and he said you mentioned that we had to cancel our plans for last weekend.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Wow Peter. I’m really disappointed. I love when we get to spend a little time together, just you and me.”
With that he smiled and said he wanted to go.
I found myself smiling too. Then my heart broke a little. I realized that he was getting ready for me to cancel on him. Again.
We drove the five blocks to Mario’s, and I noticed that Peter had the sweetest expression on his face.This was his idea. I told him we could go anywhere, but he insisted he wanted to go here. The same place we always call for take-out pizza. It’s really nothing fancy at all.
He loved that ESPN was playing on the big-screen TV and asked if we could sit a table by the TV.
“Wherever you want. This is your time.”
He squealed with delight, and I promised myself to remember how something so simple could make him so happy.
“Can I get orange soda?”
“Of course. What kind of pizza do you want?”
He pointed to a huge slice of pizza with a ton of chicken, onions, and barbecue sauce.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“OK.”
Again he giggled and sat down. I could feel the tension leave my body, and I allowed myself to really enjoy this time with him.
I wish I could say we had a deep conversation on life, we didn’t.
We spoke about his love of onions, how his pizza did not have tomato sauce on it, and how when I was little this pizza shop use to be a Carvel.
For a half-hour I watched him eat this huge slice of pizza very carefully. He took his time with it and was determined to finish every bite.
I thought of all the times I try to rush our meals and move us on to the next task of our day. I lament that time is going so fast, and that my kids are getting bigger every minute. But honestly I’m the one who is driving the bus. And I’m the one who can slow it down.
Peter took a long sigh and declared that he was finished eating. I asked him if he wanted to go the library, get ice cream, or go somewhere else. I was having such a great time, I didn’t want our date to end.
But he was ready to go home and spend time with the rest of our family. He wasn’t looking for anything big. No huge time commitment from me. He just wanted to know that he mattered and that I cared enough to keep my promise.
Kathy, what a great day you and your son had together. Thanks for the reminder that it’s so important to spend time with our kids as individuals. What a precious story, thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much Karen! xo
Wow. I love this story of moments shared together!
Thank you so much Anna! xo
This is so beautiful. I’m trying not to cry, honestly, because I’m in an emotional place right now – but because I so know. I need to take more moments like these w. my daughter, too. Thank you for sharing.
Andrea I really need to make more of these special times too! I have to remind myself that they don’t take long and they go such a long way to not only make my kids feel better, but they also help me enjoy my children!! Life can get so crazy!! xo
Very sweet. You’re so great to spend time like that with just one of your kids at a time…..My son is now 16 and I wish he wanted to spend alone time with me…..it goes really fast. xo
Beautiful. Like you. You are an amazing mother and taking this time with Peter is what makes you so. I loved this.-Ashley
Thank you so much Ashley!! xoxo
Omg you made me teary. My son’s are both in their 30’s and I’m going to ask them each for a lunch date. It’s been tooooo long.
Those are the experiences that add up to a happy childhood.
Sharon thanks! I think these experiences also make up a happy mommyhoood!! Lol! 🙂
So sweet and so simple. Good reminder!
Thanks so much! xo
Claudia that really is the rub isn’t it? We just get a small window and then they don’t really want to spend time with us in the same way. You are so right, it goes way too fast!!
Doreen I can’t get over how quickly it goes!! You are making me teary thinking that in no time my kids are going to be in their 30’s. I hope you have a wonderful lunch date with your boys!! xo
so sweet! i love that you guys had a date and it happened. so hard to stop for a moment in the crazy but so worth it.
I love your post Kathy. What a wonderful mom you are. It’s amazing how just a small amount of one and one time goes such a long way. I used to take each of my boys out for a date and we always loved the intimate time together. We still do! xo
I’m so glad to hear that you still have dates with your boys!! Gives me hope!! It is fun, I actually remember my mom doing the same thing with my sisters and I! xo
I love this post Kathy. I love having these special date nights with my son… this reminds me I need to take him on another one soon. It’s so special to have that quiet together time, just observing them and listening to them. Love.
I love when I get to spend time with my kids one on one. Our lives are crazy busy and I know what it means to them when I put off the errands and chores and anything else for special time with them. I’m glad you got this time with your sweet son and it sounds like the perfect date!
Alexa I know it really does help to spend some one on one time with them. They are so darn cute and are little for such a short time!! Thankfully my teen still enjoys some time with me, but I know that can change!! Thanks so much for coming by! xo