My husband and I are planners. We rarely jump into anything blind, whether it’s buying a new car or a throw pillow for the sofa. We research our purchases and discuss our options.
Three years into our marriage, we felt ready to start a family. We weren’t the type of couple that was just going to throw out the birth control and let nature take it’s course. No, we were going to plan for this momentous new chapter in our life.
This plan included getting a cat. We figured that if we didn’t kill the cat, we could probably handle a baby.
We lived in Manhattan at the time, and we decided to adopt a cat from the ASPCA. The woman who conducted our adoption interview took one look at us and said, “We have the perfect cat for you.”
Joe and I took one look at the little cat in the big cage, and we instantly fell in love. How could we not? She was a four-month-old kitten found wandering the streets of New York City, and she had the sweetest face you could imagine.
We named her Samantha and went predictably crazy over our new addition. Many, many, many, people made fun of how over-the-top bananas we went.
I’ll never know why.
Perhaps it was because she had more toys than most children. Or the hour we spent agonizing over the perfect collar and pet tag for her. Or, it could have been our decision to feed her the pricey specialty cat food that could be found only in pet boutiques.
Well we had to do that. The one time Joe had the nerve to pick up a grocery store brand, she picked out each inferior piece and left only the fancy brand in her dish.
Did I forget to mention she was a genius? How could we feed her Tender Vittles when she so clearly was telling us her preference?
Perhaps we were a tad obsessive.
It didn’t help that poor Samantha had a chronic viral condition, so she frequently got eye and respiratory infections.
I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I remember one night at 12:00 a.m., Joe and I got into a cab with our “baby” so we could take her to a 24-hour vet because we were so worried about her.
The poor thing had a plethora of prescription drops and antibiotics. We became quite skilled at getting her to take each and every one, and the skills have been put to good use with three children.
Nights that previously were spent reading or watching a movie were now spent playing with our sweet cat. Joe would take her out into the hallway of our apartment building and run back and forth with her.
We especially loved it when our neighbor’s three-year-old son would knock on the door and ask to play with Samantha. She may have looked like an ordinary cat, but to us she was our baby.
She was also a great comfort to us at one of the saddest points in our life.
Each of the four times I miscarried, it was Samantha who would sit with me in the dark as I mourned my loss. Holding her and feeling her warm fur helped with the devastation I felt over our losses.
When we left our apartment for a house in Queens, Samantha kept me company and made the move less traumatic. I could focus on her adjustment to the new house and not think about my own.
Looking back, I crack myself up about just how nuts we went over her. But our sweet cat did what we hoped she would do, she helped us get ready to be parents. And, in her own way she made us a family.
A little more than two years after our first miscarriage my husband and I welcomed our first child into the world. If you thought we went overboard over the cat, you can only guess what a fuss we made over our beautiful newborn son.
In the months before Tom was born, I diligently got Samantha ready for the changes that were coming. What I didn’t anticipate though is that our new son would be extremely allergic to our first baby.
Luckily for us, my father-in-law was only too happy to give Samantha a new home. The two of them became great friends for the next 12 years.
After a rough start to life as a stray cat on the streets of New York, Samantha got to live to the age of 15, with most of those years spent in a comfortable home in the suburbs. Four years ago we had to make the agonizing decision to put her to sleep after a very long illness ravaged her little body.
I always do my best to keep my feelings in check and in control around my kids, but when I got the call that Samantha was gone, I just sobbed. I missed my friend.
I have been blessed with many mentors in my life. People who challenged me to become the person and parent I aspired to be. With the risk of causing my cousin, Donna, a laughter-induced heart attack, I consider Samantha “the cat” one of them.
Samantha got me ready to be a parent like no teacher, parent, or friend could. She gave me first-hand experience in caring and loving something that was totally dependent on me.
I will always cherish the sweet memories of her and how she helped Joe and I get ready for the adventure of raising the three wonderful children we have now.
This is a re-working of the first piece the Dishwasher and I ever published. Four years ago I started my blog on a platform that Family Circle had called, Momster.com and published this piece there on 11/20/10 under the name, My Four Legged Mentor. When I moved the Dishwasher to Blogger, it ran under the same name on, 8/7/11. Thanks for letting me share it with you once again.
This is lovely…very touching. Samantha sounds very special.
Michelle recently posted…9 Things I Am Too Old For
Thank you so much Michelle! xo
First off total planner here, too, so just another reason why I think we do get along so well. But seriously loved hearing all about Samantha and your special relationship you had with her, as well 😉
Lets hear it for the planners of the world! Lol! Love you dear friend! xo
My first baby was a fur-baby too. I had Casey for 19 almost 20 years. His last few he hovered over the heat registers. I still miss him. Every pet is as unique as every child.
Vanessa D. recently posted…Build A Budget and Stick To It
Vanessa you are so right, each pet is as unique as every child. They really are a blessing. I’m sorry for your loss. xo
Kathy, your sentiments were not silly at all. In the first year of my marriage, Bob and I relocated from Philadelphia to Queens. He worked from 3pm to midnight, and I never saw him. I was all alone in a huge city, having a major time adjusting. Every night as I fell asleep on the living room couch waiting for Bob to get home, my kitty cat was right there with me, snuggled in a ball usually on top of my stomach. He was a welcome and comforting presence when I had nobody else.
Lisa they can really give comfort can’t they? They really do become trusted friends. Thanks so much! xo
Kathy – beautiful blog. I totally get it. I saved a cat named Punkin’ when my kids were young. She was mean as a snake, yet somehow strong and amazing. She lived to the age of 22, when my husband accidentally ran her over with his car. Luckily, it was quick. We’ve often told him that she’s going to haunt his ass forever. 🙂 I still think about her, and the other morning I was half-awake and saw her jump up on my bed and felt her purr. Perhaps a dream. Perhaps not. Thank you for sharing!
Donna Highfill recently posted…The Day the Raven Spoke
Thank you so much Donna. 22 is pretty amazing for a cat. My mom had a cat that was pretty mean too but she loved her and when she died she really missed her. They really do worm their way into our hearts! xo
Our younger son guilt tripped me into getting a dog when he was about to be a senior in high school. In retrospect, 9 years later, I think it was his way of leaving something behind for us in our empty nest. We haven’t experienced the empty nest angst that others speak and write about. I think that might be because of our fur baby, Dino the cock-a-poo. http://www.boomeresque.com/baby-boomer-dog-daze/
Suzanne Fluhr recently posted…South Africa Safari — Thornybush Game Reserve & Monwana Game Lodge
Suzanne you might be onto something! I will have to think about that as my kids gets older. Cock-a-poo’s are so cute, I love them!!! Dino is a great name!
I guess we’ve gone a little overboard with our pets! It’s especially hard to lose a long trusted friendship to soon!
Rena McDaniel recently posted…EVEN THE MUSIC COULDN’T SAVE ME PT. 3 MY LIFE SERIES
Well Joe and I tend to go overboard in just about everything we do. Rena people made soooo much fun of us! But she was such a great cat and she proved to be such a good friend for my father-in-law! xo
Kathy, this is beautiful! And yes, pets are so our children–especially if they are our first! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LADY! Here’s to many more years of Dishwasher Possession! 🙂
Meredith recently posted…When the Glass Breaks
Thanks Meredith! I can’t believe it’s been four years already. My nephew was born the same time as this blog and he just celebrated his fourth birthday too! Lots of love dear friend! xo
Samantha could be isentical twins with my cat, Puma. Puma came to us when she was 6 weeks old. I went over the top for her as well buying her no.less than $100 worth of stuff at the pet store on each trip.She had vat shampoo,conditioner,and Cologne. She preferred the cheaper foods and her favorite treat was Boston Market baked chicken. I had to give her toy neighbors when she got fleaa and infestedy home. I cried uncontrollably for days and thank God my neighbor is a true to form cat lady and took her in. I sometimes see her in the window of my neighbor’s window and she is just as beautiful as she was when I had her.
They really do inspire a lot of love don’t they? I’m glad you can still see your sweet friend. Thanks so much for stopping by!
I loved your blog about Samatha. When I was starting my senior year in high school, we got a 6-week old puppy & he became my first child. He even went to summer school with me & even the principal loved him. I would hold him in my arms like a baby and rock him to sleep at night. When he would wake up in the middle of the night & have a nightmare, if he wasn’t already sleeping in my bed, he would come & wake me up and he would want me to rock him. December 16th will be the one year “anniversary” of having to put him to sleep at the age of 13. This has undoubtedly been the hardest year of my life. I completely understand your love & devotion to Samatha. People often say that their pets are just like children & then people with human children get upset and say it’s like comparing apples & oranges. I agree that they are just like children, but they touch your heart & life in different ways from the human children. I believe that it is like comparing red apples & green apples, different, but still the same.
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. I also agree that comparing animals and children is like comparing green apples and red apples! We don’t have to compete, love is love. I hope the new year brings you much happier days. xo