Today I had a very hard realization, my mommy super powers, the tools I have used to banish monsters under the bed, thwart toddlers before they painted their whole rooms with diaper cream, or prevent a child’s head from being used as a torpedo, are becoming much less powerful now that my kids are 16, 13, and 10.
True, there was the time my powers didn’t alert me that my then three-year-old third child was drawing a race track in red sharpie on the living room’s cream colored carpet. Or that my ten-year-old son would think it was a good idea to carve the names of the Beatles on his new dresser. But even Superman and Wonder Woman had their bad days. As long as all three kids were breathing, I was in relatively good shape.
A few years ago I noticed that my speed at making snacks was being questioned. I started to hear from the peanut gallery that the routes I took in my mom-mobile to get them to their after-school activities were not always the fastest or most expedient. They had better ideas how to do things.
No problem. I just informed my loves that I am in fact a mom, not a genie or a slave and taught them to make their own snacks. I also reminded them that whoever was driving was in charge of the roads to take, and if they didn’t like it, they didn’t have to go to their friend’s house or team practice.
Secretly I looked into upgrading my Mommy super powers to include a faster speed option and a much larger dose of patience. I mourned the good old days when everything I did for my kids was magical and perfect.
But I was also happy that they were growing up and able to do more for themselves.
Then came the days when I no longer could answer every question they had, like why do grandfathers have to get older and move out of their houses and into assisted-living communities? Why did people we love have to get cancer and die? How is it possible that a person can go into a school or church and kill people?
My powers met their match. I learned there were some things a mother could never explain. All I could do was listen and reassure them that they were safe. Even when I didn’t believe my own words. Maybe I can’t take the pain away, but I can at least lessen it.
Now two of my kids are taller than I am, and I can no longer even lift my youngest to carry him to bed if he falls asleep downstairs watching TV. My eldest is thinking about college, and in a little more than year he will be able to legally sign a document and vote. Each day he moves a little further beyond my Mommy super powers’ reach.
As I think about all that awaits him and my other kids as they continue to grow away from me and become adults in what can be a wonderful, but also extremely scary world, a part of me wants to just stop time. There are moments where I feel I would sell my soul to keep them little forever. For a kiss to always make their hurts go away. To be able to banish nightmares with a song or my mere presence.
Today is the day it finally occurred to me that I have had it all wrong. I am not losing my powers. I am giving them away. Sometimes willingly and lovingly, sometimes my kids have to wrestle them away. But the special powers were never mine to keep.
I loved this post ! so true and felt by everyone ! Love You Mom!
Thanks mom!! Love you too! xo
Beautiful piece. Everything we’re all thinking. Mine are just 6 and 8 years old, but I feel it coming. Thanks for taking the time to write!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! xo
Omg, I think this is my favorite article of yours by far. Seriously, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this past weekend with Emma turning 6 in a few short days and how both my girls are growing up so quickly now. You summed up why even though I may feel sad at times that the baby days are gone, I need to be proud of all I have taught them so far and that is to come. Thanks Kathy and hugs 😉
Janine Huldie recently posted…5 Must Read Books for The Summer
Thank you so much Janine! xoxo Love to you!
Awww, this is such a sweet start to my morning, sister. Yes..we do have to give our powers away, don’t we?
Michelle recently posted…Back To Reality
Thank you so much! I know, it’s not easy to part with them, I like being a super hero! xo
Kathy, a beautifully written post… made me stop and think about my own kids. Thanks!
Karen Hug recently posted…How I Became A Fierce Middle Aged Mom!
Karen thank you so much sweet friend! xo
Great POV! Giving away our powers…until they have kids of their own and they want a dose of grandma power! Question: what happens to the super heroines when we’re drained of our power?
Jennifer recently posted…6 Ways To Stop “Future-Tripping” And Be Present In Your Life
Thanks so much Jennifer! It’s funny you asked about what happens to us when we are done with out powers. Each time I dealt with that in this essay it seemed to go off into a different direction than my piece was in but I would like to deal with that. I think once we can start using some of our left over powers on our own lives again and reinvent ourselves. I also think that in giving them away we do gain something deeper. Thanks for sparking some more thoughts for me!
This post is great. I love it. Have you thought of submitting to The Mid? I know they are looking for syndicated pieces and this reminds me a bit of the tone of their site.
Nicole Johnson recently posted…Surviving Summer–All 81 Days
Thanks so much Nicole!!! xo
Hi Kathy,
My grandsons turned 4 & 1 last month. And as one of the other readers said, “Grandparent Powers” are GREAT!
Thanks for your blogging.
Rob
What you need is a cape, and a lariat, and a tiara… Definitely a tiara. 🙂
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Kathy – first – I think it is totally cool that Tom tried to carve the Beatles names into his dresser! Second – I can totally empathize. Sometimes I miss the toddler days so much, but most of the time I just give thanks for the wonderful young lady Melissa has become and how close we have remained. I think moms always maintain their superhero powers…our kids just forget about them sometimes!!
Just beautiful Kathy. There are many times I long for the magical times we had when my kids were young and they thought I had special powers. But now that they are grown, it warms my heart to see the beautiful men they have become. You’ll see my friend! xoxo
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Awesome post. It’s true…the more the ‘real world’ intrudes into their lives, the less super powers we seem to have.
BUT…so far…the one super power I seem to have kept is that of giving comfort. Even the 16 yo seems to *need* a Mom hug now and then. You know the one…the long, clingy one, rather than the perfuntonary one.
I don’t always know why she needs it, but so glad that I can be there to give it when she does.
The Imp recently posted…Being Treasured Ain’t What You Think
I loved this Kathy! Last night my daughter was here dropping off the twins to spend the night (their 8 months old now). She was explaining step by step their bedtime routine like it was the very first time I had ever seen a baby in my life not to mention that this is a weekly occurrence! Watching her with her own children is so amazing sometimes.
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