My dishwasher's possessed

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Educating Lizzy

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Educating Lizzy
The other day I had my annual parent/teacher conference for my 13-year-old daughter. Each and every time I visit Lizzy’s school, I’m assaulted with a range of emotions, from gratitude and respect for the school’s teachers and staff to dread and sadness as I get buzzed through the heavy doors and enter the lobby.

I smile at the attendants at the front desk as I sign the guest book and get my name tag. I hear them call Lizzy’s teacher and let her know I’ve arrived.

The walls are decorated with colorful pictures the children made for their recent art show. Everywhere I look I see paintings of penguins and snowmen that the kids made with the help of some very talented people.

It’s not unusual to see a child with severe disabilities being pushed in a wheelchair, or walking with the help of a walker and an aide. Maybe a little one working hard on a special bicycle, smiling and happy at their accomplishment. Or a gorgeous child who looks healthy but is looking off to the distance, unconnected from the world though people are cheerfully talking to them. This day is much like the others at the school, and I make sure I smile at each child and adult I see. A little boy waves at me and everyone, including me, praises him for doing so.

Lizzy started at this school two years ago when the special education program she was attending in our district could no longer meet her needs. She was in the fourth grade at that point, and by January it had become obvious that she had stopped learning and was going backwards.

Her teacher reported that she would frequently get lost in her own world. Some days she insisted she was a princess. Other days she would claim she was in Frogland. And then there were the days when she said nothing at all and was in an almost catatonic state.

Her tests said her IQ, which was already low, had declined even more. She wasn’t doing much better at home.

It was a bitter slice of reality the day Lizzy, my mother, and I toured this “Special” school for the first time. After an extensive intake interview, the director of admissions took us into a classroom that she thought would work perfectly for her.

As we entered the room Lizzy looked at the teacher and the children listening to her. She walked right up to an empty chair and sat down.

The teacher handed her a sheet with words for the song the class was singing, and she started to sing along.

Another little girl lit up as soon as she saw Lizzy and asked if she could sit next to her.

My daughter sat in the middle of the class and looked as if she completely belonged.

My mom started to cry.

The program director was thrilled and kidded that we were going to have a hard time getting her to leave. Lizzy knew she was in the right place. My sweet girl had been unable to verbally let me know how unhappy she had been.

From that day on Lizzy has been thrilled to go to school. She bolts out the door as soon as she sees her bus. She sings in the chorus, is a cheerleader, and a Girl Scout. The children and her teaches adore her and she’s learning. I’ve mixed feelings when she refers to school as her real home.

I thought of all of that as I sat and listened to her current teacher and therapists go over her progress for the year so far. They were all so proud of all that she’s accomplished.

As hard as it is for me to believe Lizzy has almost come to the end of her time at the elementary school and will be moving up to the Middle/Senior high school where she will stay until she is 21.

Next year she’ll start learning vocational skills and preparing for the adult world. Although she’ll always need a lot of assistance, it’s hoped that Lizy will grow to have a job and the fullest life possible.

Before I left the building I asked if I could see her. Her teacher, who I adore, said of course and walked me to her classroom. I saw Lizzy’s back. Ms. T told her to turn around to see who was there.

“One minute please,” I was happy to hear her speak so nicely. The aide told us she was hard at work. I went up and saw her concentrating on each letter of the sentence she was writing. I’m not going to say she looked unpleased to see me, but let’s just say she looked like any other teen whose mom came to see them in their classroom.

I left that day, almost the same way I came in. Except my feelings of joy, gratitude and respect had grown and my feelings of sadness and dread had almost, but not completely, disappeared.

The one thing I realized as I walked back to my car is that Lizzy isn’t the only one getting a special education. I am too.

Comments

  1. Myke Todd says

    I am more than a little overcome at all this. It appears as if life is moving in the right direction for your family. I sincerely hope so… As for the education aspect, I think that everyone who reads this with an open heart and an open mind, will gain some education, as well. I know I have.
    Myke Todd recently posted…Sleeping On a Train (sonnet)My Profile

  3. Romina Garcia says

    You always have the capacity to move me to tears. Oh Lizzy I’ve loved being a part of your journey xx

  5. Terrye says

    Oh how I wish I could find a school like that for Collin. I thought I’d found it, but that’s a long story. I’m so happy that Lizzy has found her happy place and is doing so well. I have many of the same fears you do about the future. There are no easy answers, are there? I hope Lizzy continues to progress. 😀
    Terrye recently posted…Seven Questions for Seven BloggersMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Terrye I so hope you can find a great place for Collin, It can be so difficult to find the right place, and so often it depends on the state and county you live in. You are so right, there are no easy answers, and I have learned that a program that might be perfect one year may not be the right fit the next!! Sending love! xo

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Debbie I feel very, very fortunate to live in a state and county that has a lot of programs available. It is so hard to find the right place and too often parents can’t, you are so right!!!!!! Lots of love sweet friend! xo

  7. Kerri says

    YES! YES! YES! I so resonated with this post, how when you find THAT program that works for your kid it really ends up working for you in ways you never imagined.
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  8. Jill Ginsberg says

    So moving, Kathy, and so heartwarming to know that Lizzy seems to have found her happy place … where she can be herself, be appreciated, engage with others and thrive.

  14. Lisa Weinstein says

    Hi Kathy – it’s so wonderful that Lizzy found a place that has become “home” to her. I know that she will continue to grow and thrive in this wonderful environment!

  15. Joy says

    So beautiful, Kathy. I’m really happy to hear how Lizzy is thriving in this school and that you are getting the dedication that your family deserves. It’s amazing how much we learn from our children as they get older, walk farther and slowly let go of our hands on tiny finger at a time each day. 🙂 xoxo
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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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