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This Mom is Just Saying No to Making New Year’s Resolutions

December 28, 2014 By Kathy Radigan

this mom

The packages have been opened, and the kids are playing with their toys. Now it’s time for the Christmas letdown.

As much as I enjoy Christmas, I have to say that the days after the big event have always been some of my favorites. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is a time for visiting friends and family and enjoying time with my kids.

It’s also time for everyone to start talking about their New Year’s resolutions.

Everyone but me.

Once again I’ve decided to take advantage of the Mommy Exemption from making a New Year’s resolution.

Allow me to explain the Mommy Exemption. It’s my rule that says any person who’s required to change herself on an hourly basis to keep up with growing children in a constantly changing world is already making enough resolutions.

Do you find yourself saying things such as, “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea to write your homework backwards,” or “For the love of all that is good and holy in the world, I don’t care that you brushed your teeth yesterday. You still have to brush them today?”

Are you making daily resolutions such as, today I will not snap at my teenager after telling him 10 times that dinner is ready, he walks in the kitchen and says without a hint of irony, “Oh, are we having dinner now?”

If you answered yes, you qualify for the exemption. I first started using my Mommy Exemption in 2011, and each year since I have happily taken it. This year will be no exception.

I love being a mother. It’s changed me in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. I’m a stronger, more confident woman. I’ve tackled problems as big as advocating for my special needs daughter and as small as figuring out that if I make silly noises while cutting my youngest child’s fingernails, he won’t get freaked out.

It’s taken me many, many, years and enough money spent on therapy to buy a small house, but I like who I am. Are there things I’m still working on? Of course.

But I don’t need the calendar to remind me of that, I only need look in the mirror.

Sadly, yet again Santa didn’t bring me the GPS device I wanted so badly to locate the body I had before my kids. (I actually would have settled for the body I had before my third and final baby.)  So, I guess I need to finally accept the hard truth that I’m on my own.

I also have come to the difficult conclusion that no elf is going to put my name on top of my to-do list. I’m going to have to do that one by myself.

The problem is the big yearly resolutions have never worked for me. The grand pronouncements of all the ways I’m going to change my life only leave me feeling more frustrated. It’s my actions that always speak louder than my words.

By taking the exemption once again this year, I’m allowing myself the freedom to change when I’m ready to and not when I flip my calendar.

So bring on the articles and posts about all the wonderful things we moms should resolve to do in the New Year. I’m taking a page out of my kids’ book and not listening. I may even put my hands on my ears and scream it at the top of my lungs just for the fun of it!

 

This piece was first published on the Dishwasher on 1/1/11 under the title, The Mommy Exemption. It has been changed from the original.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: family, motherhood, New Years Resolutions

Comments

  1. Lisa Weinstein says

    December 28, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Hi Kathy – I don’t make resolutions either…too hard to stick to them. And you are right, the turning of the calendar is really more symbolic than anything else. Each day is the start of a new day and we can always try to do things different or better, it doesn’t have to be declared like we do at the start of a New Year! By the way, I loved seeing the Christmas photos of you and your family. Everyone is smiling, and relaxed and so happy. And Lizzie is your twin! If those photos are any indication of the wonderful life you have, then you don’t need to change a thing!! All the best for a happy, healthy New Year!!

    • Kathy Radigan says

      December 29, 2014 at 1:50 am

      You are so sweet, thank you!!! Lizzy really does look like me, it’s very strange! Wishing you a very happy, healthy New Year! I really hope 2015 is the year we finally get to meet in person! xo

  2. Jennifer Wolfe says

    December 28, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    I take the exemption, too! I gave up resolutions long ago…I take a more straightforward, intuitive approach – try to let my spirit guide me into what I know is best for me. Thanks for affirming what I know to be true, and Happy New Year!
    Jennifer Wolfe recently posted…A Year of Change and Possibilities: January, February, March, April 2014My Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      December 29, 2014 at 1:54 am

      Jennifer I love that you say you let your spirit guide you into knowing what is best for you! That really is what’s it about isn’t it? Giving ourselves the time and permission to do what we already know we should be doing!! Wishing you and your family a wonderful New Year! (And by the way, I love the picture you posted of your two gorgeous kids!!) xo
      Kathy Radigan recently posted…This Mom is Just Saying No to Making New Year’s ResolutionsMy Profile

  3. Janine Huldie says

    December 28, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    I love this Kathy and definitely think I am going to take this exemption myself. So thank you for giving me the excuse I truly needed on this!! 😉
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Merry Christmas from Us Plus Wonderful Wednesday Blogs!!!My Profile

  4. Kathy Radigan says

    December 29, 2014 at 1:55 am

    Totally do it!! Lol! Wishing you a wonderful New Year my friend! xoxo

  5. michelle says

    December 29, 2014 at 8:32 am

    I am right there with you!
    michelle recently posted…Apparently, I’d End Up With StitchesMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      December 29, 2014 at 12:38 pm

      Yay!! Thanks Michelle! Happy New Year!

  6. Carol Cassara says

    December 29, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Not a mom, but definitely saying NO to resolutions. As I do every single year!
    Carol Cassara recently posted…Ironing: the way it wasMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      December 29, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      Thank Carol! Wishing you a wonderful and very happy New Year!

  7. Haralee says

    December 29, 2014 at 11:29 am

    I think it is a great resolution to set no resolutions! My resolution is everyday for many people but for me it is a resolution, have my cell phone ready for pictures!I may achieve it 50% of the time?
    Haralee recently posted…WelcomeMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      December 29, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      After reading your latest post I think that is a great resolution for you to have Haralee!!

  8. Kisma says

    December 29, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    this is an awesome post!!! My resolution is always the same– to simple enjoy life and make the best of it- one day at a time!
    With teenagers- life is always an adventure.
    Kisma recently posted…Social SundayMy Profile

  9. Sharon at Momof6 says

    January 7, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Kathy- I love the Mommy Exemption idea! Yes- I know I will still set some goals for myself this year…. but I need to be kinder and gentler to me. Because as you said, no elf is going to put you at the top of your own to-do list. You have to do it.
    Happy New Year!
    Sharon at Momof6 recently posted…My Path to Peace and a Happy Heart in 2015My Profile

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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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