My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

Another Day at the Fun House

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another day at the fun house

The last few days, my nine-year-old, Peter, has been doing such a good job of driving me crazy that I swore he was trying to actually bug me to death.

His barrage of questions and requests for everything from going to the beach in the pouring rain, to begging me for a magic wand to turn him into a teenager like his older brother, had me scraping the bottom of the barrel for whatever was left in my mommy reserves.

In my fifteen years of being a stay-at-home-mom, I’ve had my share of tough days.

It’s not easy to be the primary caregiver of three kids. Especially with a husband who starts his long commute into NYC around 7 each morning and usually doesn’t get home till past 9 each night.

I know I’m not alone. Any time I talk to one of my mom friends, I hear the same thing. Caring for children can make even the most serene and experienced of us turn into babbling fools.

As I was dealing with Peter the other day, wanting to tear every hair out of my head, I thought back to a time about three years ago when I was in a similar position.

The kids and I were eating dinner together, and each one of my darlings was doing their best to see who would win most annoying child of the year. I was completely out of patience and was dangerously close to losing it.

Then something just clicked from deep within me.

Using all the years of vocal training my parents paid for, I sang in my best soprano voice: Tom don’t argue with me… Peter eat like a human… Lizzy use real words,

The top opera divas had nothing on me that night.

The kids stopped in their tracks and looked up at me as if they had finally succeeded in driving the old lady insane.

Then they really knew I lost it when I insisted that for the remainder of the meal, any request or complaint needed to be sung.

I must have looked serious because they complied, and for a few minutes we had our own little production of “Mommy’s finally flipped.”

Suffice it to say, we all started laughing. And I got through another meal without selling one of my children to the circus.

The next day I knew our little production made an impression on Lizzy, my special needs daughter, when I got a note home from her teacher.

Apparently Lizzy had gotten frustrated when she couldn’t move her chair to her satisfaction, but instead of screaming, she started singing this fact in what sounded like opera.

I couldn’t stop laughing when I read: Isn’t that funny Kathy, where could she have picked that up?

Where indeed?

I was glad I remembered that night as I was dealing with Peter because just as I was that night, I was desperate. Taking a page from my strategies-of-last-resort-book, I started making very silly faces at him. Then I made every goofy sound I could think of.

This was enough to shock Peter out of his mood, and he started to crack up. As did Lizzy who was watching me carefully.

The mood changed instantly. I felt better and so did Peter. We were then able to pick up Tom from his friend’s house, and the rest of the night went on without anything too stressful.

Days like this make me very grateful that I have always managed to do a few things to keep my reserve tank from hitting below empty.

For me that includes seeing a therapist to talk over parenting strategies and to keep a handle on my own stress and issues in my life. As well as taking the medication that is prescribed for me to deal with my anxiety.

I’m also lucky enough to have the support of my husband and a host of friends and family that I can call upon when I’m feeling as if I might lose it. And when they’re not available I use my online friends and let them know I am in danger of losing the few remaining brain cells I have left.

I firmly believe it takes a village to not only raise a child, but to raise a mom. And I’m very grateful for mine.

 

Comments

  2. Robin says

    Boy do I understand this feeling! It sounds like you have found some much better strategies than me (ones that work). On the days that I just snap: “You, start acting like an adult. You, stop bugging me, I don’t want to lose it with you. You, can you just stop acting your age for two minutes while I pull myself together”… I regret it. I really really feel terrible. I also love how helpful and well behaved everyone is for a few minutes.

    Love the opera singing at school!
    Robin recently posted…To Label My ChildMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Cathy I am totally showing my kids your comment because I think they would disagree!! Lol! xoxo I am so glad I finally got to meet you too. You are gorgeous inside and out!! xo

  10. Rena McDaniel says

    Ah yes I remember those days…not so fondly! Kidding but when my youngest was 10 I got my niece when she was 4 days old and she lived with us until she was 6. By this time I had been around the mom block a few times and being older and wiser and a little more patience she was getting bad at temper tantrums so one day she flung herself down kicking and screaming so I shrugged my shoulders and did the exact same thing. Kicking,screaming the whole works. She was so stunned! She never did it again.
    Rena McDaniel recently posted…A DAY WITH ALZHEIMER’S AS A CAREGIVERMy Profile

  12. thedoseofreality says

    Oh my yes, a village indeed. Am a firm believer in the power of good girlfriends to validate all those moments…and since I love you to pieces, I am here to tell you that I so related to every part of this post. Adding singing to my arsenal…it would definitely shock my children! :)-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted…25 Things You Don’t Know About MeMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Kristi I have to say it’s been such a life saver!! I also will speak in a foreign language. I pull out anything I can!! Lol! You will have to let me know what Tucker thinks!! xoxo

  14. Meredith says

    “I got through another meal without selling one of my children to the circus.” Kathy, I love you. And you are a really neat, good mom. And holy crap those are long days for you while your husband is at work! Keep rocking it, friend–you totally are. xo
    Meredith recently posted…Book Club and The Memory BoxMy Profile

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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