Lately everywhere I look I seem to come across an article on the empty nest. I always bookmark these pieces. Our oldest is entering his sophomore year in high school and won’t be leaving home for a few more years. I’ve always assumed that I still had time before our nest started to change.
But things happen sooner than you expect. This weekend we packed up the first family member whose time it was to leave.
Snuffy, the constant companion of our youngest, Peter, has left our house for my parents’ greener pastures. Apparently he felt it was time to spread his wings and start a new life.
Peter had been telling me that Snuffy was ready to leave all week, though I didn’t really believe it until he handed the stuffed animal to my dad the other day.
“Grandpa you are now Snuffy’s dad.”
My father wasn’t sure whether to cry or laugh.
Being the wonderful grandfather he is, he took his role very seriously and told Peter he would make sure Snuffy was happy in his new home. My mother set up a special basket for his bed.
Snuffy’s doing very well, and Peter’s very happy for him.
Of course, I’m the one taking it the hardest. I keep expecting him to tell me that he is ready for Snuffy to come back home. But I think this might be it. I’ve had my first deserter.
Of my three kids, Peter is the only one to have such a deep attachment to a stuffed animal. In fact Snuffy isn’t his main love, Fuzzy the bear is. As far as I know Fuzzy isn’t ready to leave home yet, but he has had several extended vacations at my father-in-law’s assisted living community.
I’ve felt guilty that he’s clung to his two stuffed friends for as long as he has.
Was it a sign that he needed more than I was able to give him? Was I so wrapped up in our daughter’s special needs that he felt forgotten?
It’s not easy being the youngest child.
This is a fact that I learned only after becoming a mom.
I’m the oldest of three girls, and I’ve always teased my younger sister and my husband whenever the two of them would join in and sing a chorus of the “Youngest Sibling Blues.”
How hard could it be, I would think?
As an oldest child I’ve always carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and have witnessed the same trait in our oldest child, Tom.
I always figured the role of youngest child was pretty cushy. Your older siblings broke your parents in, and you reaped the wisdom of their mistakes. Sounded like the perfect family position.
Now that I’m a mother to a youngest child, I see it a little differently.
Peter has to watch his brother and sister get all the cool things first, like iPhones, and Kindles. He sees his brother get to go out for a run by himself, or the movies, or lunch with friends without any parents watching from the back row.
Everyone in the family is much bigger than he is. I didn’t think about this fact until a therapist friend mentioned that it can be really scary to see your brother and sister go from kids to teenagers right before your eyes.
Aside from getting older and dingier, Snuffy and Fuzzy never change. They are there for him whether he is happy or sad, and they don’t get mad at him if he “accidentally” messes up Tom’s iPhone, or uses LIzzy’s dolls for a “science” experiment.
Letting Snuffy go means Peter is starting to feel as if he can navigate the world and our family on his own.
And it’s one more reminder that I’m that much closer to the time my nest really does start to empty out.
If you are finding your way here due to my piece, An Open Letter to My Teenage Son About Drinking, welcome. You can learn a bit more about me and the crazed appliance here. We hope you make yourself comfortable and find yourself possessed!
Kathy, this is a huge step for Peter and if it were Lily, who as you know is my baby and totally attached to her blankie and her Olaf stuffed animal now, I think I would be bawling. I am truly feeling your pain and emotions here and am so proud of you for how you are handling it. God help me though when I go through this myself, you may need to hold my hand, as it am truly not thinking I will be that strong.m love you and hugs always 😉
Janine Huldie recently posted…The Stars And Stripes Edition – GLOSSYBOX June 2014
Well I’m the one who went over and took the picture of Snuffy!! Lol! I hate it!! And of course I love it. Janine it goes by way too fast!!! Lots of love! xox
Peter is so sweet! I love that he granted his grandfather “custody” of the stuffed animal, and I love that your father took his new responsibility so seriously. For Melissa it was Biscuit, a stuffed dog “born” at Build a Bear. Biscuit no longer travels everywhere with his owner, but he still has an honorary spot on her bed….and she’s 17!! I suspect she might even take him to college with her, if there’s room since I’ll be sharing her dorm room….
Lisa my dad really melts my heart sometimes!! My parents take their responsibility very seriously!! I love the Biscut is still on Melissa’s bed. I never in thought Sunffy would actually have to move out of our house!! Lol! xox
I remember when my daughter got rid of her Rosie bear. She did it alone, never saying a word. I cried when I found her neartly wrapped up in her closet one day…
Jennifer Wolfe recently posted…travel with mamawolfe: Relax at the Roman Spa Hot Springs Resort in Calistoga
Jennifer I never thought Snuffy would have to move out?!! Lol! It goes too fast!!! xox
It was nice to see someone else say what I say. I am your Mom not your friend. My standards are what is expected in this home. I love my children & I pray and watch out for any signs that we need to talk.
Thanks Arlene, I really do agree with you. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
i so get this. i was kind of devastated when my boy did the same. these growing up transitions are so hard on us! 😉
Ice Scream Mama recently posted…My mom is hotter than your mom
Alisa I remember when your son did it too. Funny thing is I just thought Peter would pack up Snuffy and that would be that. The whole Snuffy moved out sort of took me by surprise, I just don’t know where he gets his flair for the dramatic! No clue!! Wink, wink! My apples really don’t fall far from the tree! Lol!
That last line really got me. We are going through that with Munchkin #2 and slowly each one is going to its home with their Daddy’s security blanket. Now we need the thumb to go, but then you are right – it is the beginning of the flying away. Wah!! 🙂
stacey recently posted…Prenatal Chiropractor Speeds up Labor and Reduces Painful Labor
Thanks Stacey! I get so sentimental but it really is so bittersweet! It’s great to see them moving and growing but I miss my babies!!!! xo
Kathy, we are a few short weeks from dropping our youngest at her freshmen dorm. In retrospect, it is impossible to believe that my, once upon a time, “little girl” is now such a capable young adult heading off to school out of state. Yes, each milestone is a reminder of how close our children are to independence and, giving up a lovely, is a big milestone. Lovely. Mary Dell
grownandflown recently posted…Moving Day
Mary it just goes by so fast!!! People love to tell you that when your babies are little and your knee deep into it all, and though you know in your heart they are right, you never really truly believe it! Sending good thoughts your way about your daughters upcoming move! xoxo
Kathy Radigan recently posted…My Empty Nest
Your first has flown the coop! It sounds like Snuffy is happy in his new digs and it was a successful transition!
I’m the oldest, too, and it is different for the youngest. Oddly, I think I have more sympathy for my youngest in that respect than my oldest (although the oldest has it’s ups and downs, too)
I got my first taste of empty nest syndrome this summer. Both Bobby and Lucy were at camp for a full month from mid June to mid July. It was…FABULOUS. My husband and I had such a great time!! I know I’m probably not supposed to say that, but it’s true.(Maybe because we knew it was only a month and we couldn’t waste our time together). I used to sort of worry it might be weird or strange to just be alone together again post kids, but now I think we will do just fine! 😀
CONGRATULATIONS on your awesome post that WENT VIRAL!! We go on vacation for a few weeks and Kathy Radigan BLOWS UP THE INTERWEBS!!! I’m so happy for you!! It is always so great when wonderful things happen to wonderful and talented people. YAY!!! WOO HOO!! WOOT!!!! –Lisa
The Dose of Reality recently posted…You Don’t Have To Try So Hard
I love you Lisa!!! Thank you, it was a crazy week!!! I think it’s great you guys had a month to yourself, I know Joe and I love it when we get a day or two, I can’t imagine a whole month!!!!
Snuffy is very happy now, I just think it’s so funny that I have the type of kids that need to get so dramatic and have their stuffed friends move away. I guess I can’t expect my children to just be happy packing their childhood treasures away in a memory box!! Lol!
Kathy Radigan recently posted…My Empty Nest
When both my kids left for college they left their “prize possessions” at home, and it was hard for me to imagine them without their furry critters. But they adjusted just fine. Me, well, that took a little longer.
Carpool Goddess recently posted…Ladies Who Lunch
I expected to put Snuffy in a box and visit him from time to time, but he moved away!!! Lol! Leave it to my kids!!
It really does go so fast doesn’t it? Thanks so much for coming on by!
I’m so not even ready for kindergarten, but my stepdaughter moved out a few years ago… after graduating high school. Sigh. This stuff is hard. And liberating. And wow.
Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the Disappointment
Kristi it is both hard and liberating. I still think it goes way too fast!!!
I will say that I LOVED kindergarten when all three of my kids did it, They are so amazingly cute at that age!!! xoxo
No kids, so my nest is ALWAYS EMPTY!
Carol Cassara recently posted…The root of the root
Time flies really fast. Kids grow fast. And the transition can give happiness and sadness to us parents. We just have to cope with the changes.