My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

There are No Sick Days for Mommies

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There are no sick days for mommies

Each time I dare to get sick, I’m plagued with a recurring dream.

I’m in bed with an extremely sore throat or a painful stomach bug. I can barely lift my head up, yet I keep trying to reach my office to let them know I won’t be in today. But whatever I do, I can’t seem to get through to a single person who can help me.

I’m in a full-blown panic because I’m sick as a dog and desperately need to go back to bed, but responsibility calls. I have to reach my office to let them know I need a sick day, and I can’t rest until I do.

Then I wake up, relieved to realize that I am a SAHM and have no office to check in with. Nobody I have to answer to.

The relief is very short lived.

I remember a time, about two years ago, when my throat was so sore that I could barely breathe, never mind talk, without it hurting. I woke up to find my youngest, Peter, standing over me.

It was 6:30 in the morning.

“Mommy, I want sushi.”

“Peter,” I croak in a voice that is better-suited for a 1-900 number and not a mom of three. “Mommy is sick, go downstairs, and watch Nick Jr.”

“Mommy, I want breakfast.”

“Mommy, I need food.”

“Go into the cabinet… and get some cereal. Daddy will… get some muffins in a minute.” Each word hurt more than the last. I was in agony.

I turn to my husband, my best friend, my parenting partner, the man who sleeps right next to me. I can tell that he is pretending to be asleep, and I am less than pleased.

“Joe… Please… muffins… for… kids. I’m sick.”

“Mommy, I don’t want daddy’s breakfast. I want yours.”

I hear Joe’s muffled laughter and part of me wants to join in. The other, very sick part, wants to just cry. Since words are agony for me, I just sigh. The sigh that means I’m seriously considering single parenthood.

Knowing that he better do something fast, Joe adopts what the kids call his “mean-daddy” voice: “Peter, daddy will get some muffins from Dunkin’ Donuts. Let mommy sleep.”

I slip into the abyss once again.

Sweet slumber.

But not for long.

“Mommy.”

“Mommy.”

“Mommy.”

“What… is… it… Peter.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“I love you mommy.”

“I love you too.”

Now I’m feeling guilty. The poor thing just wants his mother. He is also probably scared since my voice sounds so strange, and it’s obvious I’m in pain.

I remember feeling the same way when I was little, and my mom was sick. Moms are Super Human. They can’t get sick.  My heart melts a bit, and I make a mental note to call and thank my own mother for not eating her young. I know my sisters and I tortured her when she was sick, just as my son was torturing me now.

“Mommy.”

“Yes baby.” I now use the sweetest mommy voice I can croak out for my child, who only wants reassurance and a cuddle from his mom.

“Come walk with me to the kitchen, and get me something to eat”

“Joe. Get… up…now… and take him with you before… I sell him.” I croak out before I just pass out and go back to sleep.

I faced the hard truth that day. There is a reason why I have had the same dream for as long as I have had kids. Unlike when I worked in an office, when I get sick now, there is nobody to call to let them know I won’t be in.

Mommies don’t get sick days.

 
*This piece is a re-working of an essay I published on the Dishwasher in January, 2012, under the name, Mommies Don’t Get Sick Days.

 

 

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    You just made me lol here, because I know all too well I am never allowed to be sick here either. Seriously, when Kevin asked Lily what she was going to give up for Lent, she answered, “Mommy.” Not even 5 minutes later she needed juice and told Kevin she wanted, “Mommy to get it!” Yup, she couldn’t even go 5 minutes without needing me and Lent was over in her eyes. So, trust me sick or not, I am the one they want and need for meals, juice and everything in between, too!
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Scotties Has All Our Nosey Needs CoveredMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      It really is true Janine, they don’t give us a break! But I guess it’s just my turn because I so remember doing the same thing to my mom! xo

  5. Kat says

    You’re going to love the tween/teenage years! Most mornings, even when I’m totally well, I tell them to get their own darned breakfast. I am SO not a morning person so, as soon as they were old enough to get their own cereal without creating a mess, they were on their own! That being said, I do occasionally rise to the challenge and do the pancake or eggs/bacon thing 😉
    Kat recently posted…Awesome ThingsMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks Kat! Peter is actually pretty self reliant but I think he was just in rare form that day!! I really did think I might sell him! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

  6. Courtney Conover says

    Oh, Kathy…I know this is coming down the pike for me. I just know it. I haven’t been sick — like, knocked down, not-worth-a-damn sick — since late last summer when I was in my third trimester of my second pregnancy. And it was a struggle with just one child.

    Having to soldier through a cold with my 6 month-old and now a 30-month-old who has the energy of a Bubble Guppy will be fun, indeed.
    Courtney Conover recently posted…Ten ways to set Mommy offMy Profile

  8. Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life says

    That one definitely hits home! And its not just the kids! This weekend I had to drive to VA and back…it was 19 hours total drive time (should have been 14 but that is another story altogether) and I was exhausted Monday morning. I just wanted to stay in bed. The kids went off to school, but the dog jumped on the bed, and off the bed, on the bed and off the bed, nudging me numerous times. Then he went into the kitchen and I could hear him rummaging around and the dog door going up and him dragging things out. I finally had to drag myself from bed to stop the destruction. We lost a shoe and some food that the kids didn’t put away. So much for rest.
    Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life recently posted…Mexican Appetizer: Roasted Tomato, Corn and Shrimp QuesadillasMy Profile

  10. Kathy Radigan says

    Tonja I know it well!! My husband is not a whiner or complainer per say (that is more my forte!) But he does just go to bed and announce he is really sick. But like you I could be literally on my deathbed and my husband would say, just one more minute, where is Lizzy’s shoes?” Lol! I think it’s just different with moms, we are wired to care for our kids no matter what!!

  11. Foxy Wine Pocket says

    This has been the single hardest part about being a mom for me. I remember once tossing the kids cereal and juice boxes and hitting “play” 3 times in a row on a movie for my kids the day I came down with strep throat and was waiting for the antibiotics to kick in. It was torture. Now that the kids are older, they can do more for themselves when I get sick. But I still have to drive them everywhere. I’m getting irritated just thinking about it. You are so right: “Mommies don’t get sick days.”
    Foxy Wine Pocket recently posted…Before You Buy This House, You Should Know I May Have Defiled ItMy Profile

  12. Marcia @ Blogitudes says

    I love this post and can SO relate to it this week! I’ve been sick and had to take a few days off work. That was easy! Time off at home – not so much! I have no kids, but I do have a husband. Need I say more? 😀
    Marcia @ Blogitudes recently posted…My Purse Is A JokeMy Profile

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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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