My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

More Coffee. Amen.

By

Tuesday was like most days: I woke up around 4:30, had a cup of coffee, and glanced at the paper my husband left on the kitchen table.

I did my mom check of the backpacks, wrote the notes for the kids’ teachers, and put snacks into the bags of my second grader and kindergartener.

Usually, I shower and get dressed. But, I was so sleepy that I went back to bed.

I never worry about going back to bed. I have an internal clock that wakes me when I need to get up. If that fails, my husband is usually up around 5:30-6:00 so he can catch his train. It’s a no-fail system.

Except for Tuesday.

I awoke with a pleasant feeling from a dream with my husband. (I think George Clooney was in the dream too, but, don’t tell my husband.)

Then I see the clock on the TV–6:55.

My sleepy brain quickly wakes up. The internal mom list goes off in my head. Lizzy’s bus will be here at 7:25… Peter’s at 7:35… What day is it? Tuesday. Early chorus rehearsal for Tom. He has to be in by 7:45.

No one is up.

This is not good.

“Joe. You picked a Tuesday to forget to set your alarm” was the loving way I woke my husband.

“OK. Everybody wake up,” I yell as I throw on my clothes and splash water on my face. No time for even the smallest amount of makeup. I don’t even have time to comb my hair.

I wake my special-needs daughter, which can be tricky.

“Lizzy, we have to get up, now. We’re late. Come on honey.” I put a warm cloth on her face, direct her to the bathroom, get her clothes, get her dressed.

No time for her to do it herself today. Quickly, quickly. I help her put the leggings on her long legs that I am very envious of. 

“Lizzy, we’ll wear the pink dress today,” I say in my cheery, try-not-to-panic, mommy voice.

“Pink dress,” she replies.

Now her hair.

“That hurts,” she says in a pretty loud voice. I know what’s coming next.

“I live in fairy land” in an even louder voice.

“Lizzy, no fairy land, the bus is going to be here.”

I rush to the kitchen and quickly give her some juice and her medications. I say to myself, 1 pink pill, 1/2 a green pill.

“Do you want some cereal?”

“Yes.”

I get two bowls and fill with Cheerios. Milk for her, no milk for Peter.

I now get Peter, my youngest up.

“Wakey, wakey, we are in a rush. We have to move now. The bus will be here soon.”

“I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay with you.” His new morning saying.

“Peter, we are going to school.” This is said in my I’ve-had-enough mommy voice.

“I want something to eat,” another new phrase we say a lot.

“I have cereal at the table. Sit next to Lizzy.”

“I don’t want cereal. I want something to eat.”

“Peter, this is not a diner. We have cereal today or nothing.”

“OK mommy.” I love that kid.

Now I am running around and yelling at my oldest to get ready.

“I can’t wake up mom. I am sooo sorry.”

“No sorry, no sorry, just wake up.” This is said in my I-wonder-how-much-I-could-sell-you-for mommy voice.

The clock says 7:20.

Wait outside with Lizzy for her bus.

“Princess Lizzy, your chariot awaits,” is the greeting she gets from the aide on her bus. I smile and say a quick hello to both him and the bus driver. Lizzy smiles, kisses me from the window with the help of the bus aide. And she is off.

One down.

Now I check Peter. His coat is on. Great. Yell at oldest again.

“Thomas, you are going to chorus rehearsal whether you are dressed or not. For all that is holy, please move your tail.” (I didn’t really say tail. I’m a mom, not a saint.)

Now I wait outside with Peter. He is pretty happy, even though he was carrying on 10 minutes ago that he was going back to bed. I like that about him. His bus comes. Get him on the bus.

“Bye mommy. I love you.”

My day is made! We blow a kiss to each other.

Two down.

“Joe since your car is blocking mine, can you take Tom to chorus?”

“I’m leaving now.” Mind you he is in his underwear.

“That’s fine honey.” 18 years of marriage, I know when to say something and when not to.

Five more minutes they are off. 

I herd them off to the door as if they are cattle.

“Remember, I have my club today, I need to be picked up at 5:00.”

“Yes, I know, have a good day.”

“You too, mom. I love you.”

I adore that kid.

My husband and I share a very quick kiss.

“I drop him off at the front for Chorus, right” my husband says getting into the car.

“Yes. Goodbye, I love you” I yell from my front door.

“I love you too.”

I love that man.

Everybody’s out. I pour more coffee in my Mom cup.

Amen.

Comments

  4. Kathy says

    Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I will let you know that the idea of a quiet house for 6 whole hours is a great motivator to move fast!

    Liz, just wait till baby #3 comes, you too will be able to get all three out! I was not capable of moving fast when I had one child! Three was the magic motivator! Thanks again, I really appreciate the support!

  5. Stephanie says

    Amen to that – I am SO excited to have the house to myself tomorrow that I will do WHATEVER it takes to get them out the door. 🙂

    But 4:30? Seriously? Wow.

  6. Kelly H. says

    Great post! You got a true out loud laugh from me 🙂 I know how hard it can be to get everyone up and ready…Eli starts school this July and I am nervous on how we will get three of em ready in the morning…at least they all go to the same school for now!

  7. Linda says

    I love the part of your a” mom not a saint”!! So true my husband will be (when he does drive the kids) yelling for them to get in his car when he is not even dressed or ready!!

  8. Megan says

    Wow, I can’t believe you got all of them out on time. When we’re running late I have a hard enough time getting my 4 year and 11 month old ready. And my 11 month old can’t talk or tell me no yet.

  9. Kathy says

    Thank you so much for reading and posting everyone! As for getting kids ready, I really belive it is harder when they are younger, plus, I think you get better at getting them out when you have three or more because the reward of getting them out of the house is higher. Lol!! Thanks again all, I so appreciate the support!

  13. Joy Page Manuel says

    More coffee and LOTS of chocolate, I hope! And here I am complaining of my one and only almost 4yr old boy!, hahaha! That was fun to read though, and yes, you’re an amazing Momma! 🙂

  14. andreabrov says

    Another great post! That was a difficult thing to do to get them all out in less then one hour. Good Job! I love the princess Lizzy stories because they are so real and cute. Peter is a Gem and loves you so much. Thomas is staying sweet even though he is a tween now. Your the best!

  22. Kathy says

    I always think it is so funny that when I really need to move I can and yet so many days I feel like I’m sleeping through the day! Motherhood is not easy! I do love chaos though! Also, I blame my own mom for my early waking, she did it as well, although she would scrub her floor. I guess I got the early “gene” and not the cleaning “gene”! Thank you all for your great comments! Tomorow is Tuesday again!

  26. alexandra says

    Will you write a book please? I’d like to read it. You have such a talent for writing!

    oh, and pour yourself another cup 🙂 I actually took a sigh of relief for you when I reached the end of that post! haha

  27. Kathy says

    Thanks guys! One day I will write a book, this is my training ground! I can’t thank you all enough for reading, commenting and supporting me! Kristi I think you took me to 100 followers, which was my goal to reach by April! Thank you guys so much! My kids have decieded that we would have a cake when I reached 100 so it’s cake tonight!! Love ya!

  29. ThaiHoa says

    Wow! You are awesome. I would probably be crying by that time. I too wake up at 4:30 to get my workout in, breakfast, shower, clean, then baby time when she gets up at 7:30. I cannot stand to wake up late, like today. I missed my work out etc…

  32. Our Life in the Deep End says

    Ok so I refuse to be the follower that only reads your first post comments, follows and moves on! But here I am on your first post commenting. Seriously I know I will have one of those mornings when the baby is older and there are more kids. I totally feel you when you know not to push the hubby in his underwear! I gotta go get some work done but rest assured I will be back to catch up on your life tonight because you are me in a few years with more kids 🙂

  33. Glynis says

    You deserve a medal and a cup of coffee! It always amazes me that as moms we do get an internal clock but every once in a while we forget to turn it on.

  34. Seams Inspired says

    Isn’t it amazing how quickly everyone can get around when you need them to do just that? LOL Girl…you deserve a Coffee with Baileys after that morning! ;o) Thank heavens for that extra cup, right? Happy Thursday, sweet bloggy friend! I reall needed the giggle today. :o)

  35. Thea says

    Thank heaven for coffee! I don’t remember when life was like that but I’m sure it was. Congrats on getting everyone out the door.

  40. Kathy says

    Thank you all so much for the support and comments! It was a crazy day! My friend said, at least it gave you something to write about! Thanks again!

  41. Bobbey says

    I could help but laugh as I read your post. It sounds just like a morning at my house, except it’s me rushing out the door for work with coffee cup in hand. 🙂 Visiting via a UBP11 post but had to follow you so I can read more about your crazy life. It’s so good to know we’re not alone!

  42. Mel~ @ Lifestwistedstitches.com says

    Soooo good to know we are not alone! My two are nearly all out the door with pulling of hair and gnashing of teeth everyday (JK-Sometimes). I DON’T have the house to myself though as my husband works out of the house most days (that sucks!) and I’m home with my preschooler and another 2yr. old everyday. I feel your longing for the house to yourself, that’s for sure!

  43. AlyceB says

    Kudos to you!! Very impressed.

    Kathy said…
    Congratulations!! Wow, she is a beauty! I look foward to your birth story, but I hope you gets lots of time to enjoy your babies and rest! Have fun!

    Thanks 😀 We’re so in love with her!

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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