As I was sliding down the hill, I had to question the wisdom of taking the trail my 12-year-old, Tom, wanted to take. I figured that because I was with my dad, it would be OK. But my dear 71-years-young father was way ahead of me and wasn’t looking back. I had lost sight of him.
Tom was behind me exclaiming that this was the best day of his life.
For a minute I panicked. We were 15 minutes from home in a state park I’ve known since the age of nine, but I feared we were hopelessly lost. There are few things I hate more than being lost, and I’ll do anything to avoid it.
I have the poorest sense of direction in human history. I can get lost trying to get out of a paper bag.
Tom still had no idea something was wrong. Then I had a momentary flashback to 35 years ago.
I was 10 and at a sleep away camp, deep in the woods. That first morning, I woke up before anyone else and needed the bathroom. I had declined my counselor’s sleepy offer to walk me to the outhouse a small distance from our cabin.
Getting to the outhouse was fine. But the return trip? I guess I turned in the wrong direction. Two hours later and I still hadn’t found my way back to the cabin.
There I was in my little baby doll pajamas going from cabin to cabin hoping to find mine. Each time a counselor would give me directions to get back to my cabin. Not wanting to look anymore foolish then I already did, I acted like I understood just fine. Off I would go, only to get more lost.
Finally I stumbled onto a cabin of boys and that counselor brought me back to my group. I was lost for almost three hours.
Oddly enough I don’t remember ever crying or showing anyone just how terrified I was. Even at the age of 10, far from home, completely lost, I still wanted to look like I had it all together.I was always terrified that people would know I was dyslexic. At times I felt so lost in school. It was as if I was on the wrong planet and everyone spoke another language. I was always looking for the way home. Someplace where I didn’t have to work so hard to fit in.
Oddly enough, I didn’t know that the place I was looking for was one that I would create myself. With the help of a guy I met on a blind date 21 years ago this month who understood and listened to me when I said I couldn’t do something. He told me I could do it anyway. For the first time, I believed it.
“I can’t type…” “I can’t go to college…” “I can’t drive…” “I will be lost.” Each of my fears was countered by a “Yes you can.” And then I did.
Learning to find my way home, through the doubt and the fear, allows me to teach my three children that they too can go where they want to. Even when it feels impossible, they take the steps required to get out of the forest and return home.
It doesn’t matter if the challenge is learning to read for Peter, seventh-grade math for Tom, or the many obstacles of being a special needs child for Lizzy. The kids are finding their way, and I’m finding mine.
In my heart, I know how hard it is to feel completely lost, and I know the joy when you realize you can do what you once thought was impossible.
These thoughts came to me as I was sliding down the hill at the park. With my heart beating a tad faster, I came to the end of the hill. Tom quickly followed behind me.
We were none the worse for the wear. We found our way back on the path and my now gloating dad.
Tom can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.
Neither can I.
What a great story! I had a bad camp experience when I was a kid, also! I was just soooo homesick all week!
http://fivefeetoffun.blogspot.com
It must have been extra scary since you were not only responsible for you but also your son. Glad you made it out safely!
This is a very engaging story! Great to meet you via Voiceboks!
Love the story! I have a friend who sounds like your blind date, always encouraging others to do what they think they can’t.
Thanks for the great post. Stopping by from VB.
Visiting from voiceBoks:-)
Wow. Your experience with “doing it anyway” is so incredibly powerful, and is a huge encouragement to other women. Just thought I’d tell ya, in case you forgot.
Sending tons of courage and loads of joy!
~RJ, the Hope Coach
http://jrrsehopecoaching.com
Love this post!! 🙂 Such an inspiring read!!!!!
It’s so amazing that our biggest barrier is always ourselves, once we get over the fear of failure and just jump right in we can do anything. So glad you have and still are! And the best part you can pass it on to your kids – what an incentive to be all you can be…. thanks for sharing, very inspirational, (am following!)
Nicole x
I also have next to no sense of direction! And also dislike getting lost (which happened fairly recently on a hike of my own – only I haven’t known the area for as long as you:(
Love that your dad is so spry at 71!
Thanks again for sharing your story,
Visiting for the vB catch up,
Kristina
It is always such a thrill to see the great comments you all leave! Thank you! It’s nice to know some of you also get lost and it’s great we can find our way back home! Much love to you all!
Kathy
I commend you for even going into the woods. I wouldn’t have dared, for my compass is way off kilter. Thanks for the heartwarming and encouraging post. (((HUGS))) sweet bloggy friend. Happy Monday! ☺
I have never been to camp but am familiar with the getting lost thing, it happens to me when I am looking for my car in the parking lot after a trip to the grocery store. Embarrassing but true! I love how you tell a story, you always have a positive message. #1 fan. Love ya, Jodi
So, I think you need to take a whistle before you go out again, just in case. 🙂
It’s interesting in your camp story you were more worried about being embarrassed than of being lost. I think that would have been me! I have a hard time admitting to any type of failure.
But, I don’t want to teach my children that! I want to teach them that they can do anything. I want to teach them that failure can be good so long as you keep getting up. I can see you have already taught your kids these things.
Thanks for always being such a wonderful example of motherhood for me. I appreciate your fun and insightful writing, and your blog friendship. 🙂
Thank you for this inspirational post. Though a relatable story about camping adventures, getting lost and family endeavors, I found this to go much deeper and deliver an amazing message. As an immigrant, I too have felt very lost and unable to show fear. I now try to show others that success is attainable and that hope is present even in the darkest situation. We must remember that the darkest situation is relative to each person’s circumstances and remind them of the values you spoke of. I’ll be visiting your blog again!
What a proud mom you will be. Three cute angels. 🙂 Loved their pics!
Thank God you can type.
I so enjoy reading your work 🙂
Yay, this was wonderful. I remember how terrifying it was to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night while at camp. I would sit in my bunk and pray that the urge to pee would go away. I love love love this post. http://homesandbabies.blogspot.com
That is a great lesson to pass on to your kids! Let them go and experience what they want. They will find their way back home! Awesome!
Just popping in to say HEY from VoiceBoks!
Ro 🙂
http://www.MommyMindSpa.com
Have YOU had your Mom-ME Moment yet today?
First, I want to thank you for posting this AFTER Drama finished camp! LOL!
Second, great lesson and another outstanding essay. Learning, and teaching your children, that nothing is impossible, is awesome!
I’m so glad you found your way.
Christina
Visit me at Spilled Milkshake
Visiting from voiceBoks!
♥ xoxo
Christina when I read your post last week about Drama going to camp I was so glad I decided not to write about this last week!!! I would never want to freak you or anyone else out!!! Lol!!! As my dad keeps saying this week to my mother though, “Kathy did make it back!!” Very funny!!
Grumpy Grateful, I thought it was interesting too that I was more concerned at what people would think about me getting lost and less about the fact that I was lost in the woods in Upstate NY!! I have spent a lot of time working on that, I think today I wouldn’t care who knew I was lost!!! Lol!
Once again, I can’t thank everyone enough for leaving such great and really thoughtful comments! It really means so much to me!! Much love to you all!!
I’m so glad that the blind date had such a forever impact on you. Very cool!
I love thinking about you and Tom sliding down the hill. This post made me smile!
What a great post. I love how you tied it all in with how we often find ourselves lost in various aspects of life. Such a great story and lesson in this. I have a horrible sense of direction and often worry about getting lost if I’m out somewhere with my kids. But I also know that as long as I have God as my compass, I’ll never be truly lost.
Many blessings,
Rosann
http://www.christiansupermom.com/
**stopping by from voiceboks to say hello! 🙂
Beautiful Essay – loved it.
Stopping by from Voiceboks – you are a great writer!
Jaimie
http://www.wonderyearsof2.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing this story. Sounds like you found your way out in more ways than one!!!
Clayton
http://www.claytonpaulthomas.com
Thanks for visiting me agian.
Bushra Syed
http://www.allaboutbabyzee.blogspot.com
http://www.syedstore.blogspot.com
Love THIS! Exactly the reminder I needed today that anything and everything can be accomplished with the right mindset. Thank you!
Oh thank God, another person so in fear of getting lost they flashback.
I don’t know how I got through my teens, 20’s & most of my 30’s w/out a GPS. Whenever I had to drive somewhere new for the 1st time, even the 2nd or 3rd time, my palms sweat, my knees shake, my ears roar. It’s horrific. I flew to Chicago from Phoenix last year to see my oldest graduate basic in the Navy, and I had to pull over so many times and just cry. Even on the plane I was shaking already knowing I’d be driving alone in a city I’d never been to.
When I was in high school & my 20’s I’d make my friends give me EXACT directions down to what the name of the corner store was at every corner. I needed colors of houses and cars in the driveways. I needed $3 in quarters so I could stop at every other phone booth and call to make sure I was on the right track.
You’re not alone and I am SO PROUD of you for saying yes to over coming all of your doubts. I would have never guessed this about you, seeing how smart and funny you come across.
Lots o’ love
Sharon from VB
http://sharon-moms-madhouse.com/
As a fellow direction-challenged individual, I really enjoyed this post 😀 I actually enjoy getting lost – you get to see things you would have missed if you stuck to the map.
Great post! I can get lost trying to find me way out of a paper bag, too. Oh, and thanks for the kind words- I hate that I had to go through what I did- I hate and you or anyone else would have to go through that, either- but ever since that day, I keep trying to remind myself that if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have Nicholas right now. It helps even more to hear from others that have been there, though, so thank you.
~SortaSuperMom
http://confessionsfromboystown.blogspot.com/
Love this post! We always find our way back, don’t we? Your internal compass must be spot on.
Gina from vB
somebody said that fear is the most intelligent thing to have in many situations…. 🙂
I’ve had the lost in the woods experience also… not fun. Glad you’ve overcome your fears to accomplish what you have today. You’re a great role model for your kids, showing them how to find their way in a world that can definitely be easy to get lost in.
This is beautiful. I’m so glad you found the right man to help you face and triumph over your fears. And, you are a better mother for it.
thank you for stopping by my blog.
My husband is a Search Manager and his worst calls are lost/missing kids. SOOO scary. This was a wonderful post–thanks for sharing!
You are kind of a great writer ya know. I also have a poor sense of direction, I can get lost in a closet. Love your blog – am a new follower from VB.
I love that your husband tells you, “yes you can”. Mine is the same, and he is always so right. I’m always the one who thinks I have to be an expert to do something, with nervous knots in my belly all of the time. He’s the one with supreme confidence, and has no idea what nervous knots are. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him:) Thanks for making me think of that.
Love reading your blog,
Courtney
http://www.mommyladyclub.com
Beautifully written! I love the part about your husband’s encouragement. And the gloating dad, lol!
Visiting from VoiceBoks – cheerio!
Lisa
i don’t mind getting lost coz it makes me discover a whole other world/experience other the one i’m familiar with…=)
i enjoy reading your posts. you’re such a talented writer. i’m one of your followers now.
I have this deep fear of getting lost too! When I was younger I thought all downtown’s were south because the word “down” was in it. South on a map key always points down. I’m an artist, I to have some kind of disability. Things that seem right to me, sometimes are not with the masses.
There was talk in elementary of holding me back often. I tested so poorly! Even when I got older, I was in low classes because of my test scores. I worked my butt off and got good grades. I begged to be in the average classes. They moved me up, and I still got good grades. My ACT scores sucked! I begged to take it untimed to get into college. They let me. My test score was average then. I got accepted into Kansas City Art Institute.
I went on to grad school. I was from Nebraska, and went to grad school in Georgia. Super far away! Scary! I had only been on an airplane once, I had never taken a city bus, I didn’t know anyone and I was horrible with directions. I said to myself, “I can do this! No one else in my program will know one another, or where they are going.” I did it.