The other morning my husband and I were just waking up in our bed, cozy and warm. “Do you realize that this Valentine’s Day it will be 20 years since we got engaged?” I smiled as Joe said this. Then I felt a hand reach out to me.
It would have been romantic if the hand was Joe’s.
But the hand in my face belonged to our sound-asleep six-year-old, Peter. I don’t remember him coming into our bed. He’s getting good at stealth missions to snuggle between mommy and daddy.
Then I felt something at my legs. I guessed that this had to be Lizzy, who at 10 knows she’s no longer welcome in our bed, but sneaks in at the bottom anyway.
Joe and I started laughing at our current circumstances. Children have certainly filled our life and bed since we first decided to get married in 1992.
I can’t help but think back to the sunny March morning almost 19 years ago when I woke up in my parents’ house knowing this was the day we had planned for a little over a year. Birds were singing, and it finally felt like spring.
There was still some snow left from a late winter blizzard, but the morning promised a day that would be sunny and warm.
My dress hung by the window in the room that used to belong to my sisters. Sunlight peeked through my long veil.
I tried to soak it up. I was happy and knew Joe was the right man for me. I was very much in love and extremely excited at starting our life together.
Four years later, I laid in the same bed crying hysterically over the loss of the pregnancy I had carried for 10 weeks. I was devastated at the loss.
Joe thought getting out of the city would be good for me for a few days. I knew if I stayed at my parents, he wouldn’t worry so much about me because he had a big deadline at work and would be working around the clock until it was finished.
I felt so empty after weeks of feeling so full of life and being so happy. Maybe I tempted fate feeling so happy. We had been overjoyed to learn I was pregnant. It seemed too easy.
The pain was so intense for both of us. I remember crying together and praying. I wanted to wake up and find out it was just a bad dream that the baby we were expecting would be born in May and everything would be fine. I kept waking up and realizing the truth.
Almost two years later I was in the same room in my parents’ house exhausted. My sister had gotten married, and we had gone back to my folks’ house to visit with family and friends before my sister and new brother-in-law left for their honeymoon.
I needed to take a small nap before I could visit with one more person. My bridesmaid dress was much tighter now that I was two months pregnant. The dress was bought when I had given up all hope of having a biological child.
Joe stayed with me until I fell asleep and then came back to check on me about an hour later. The guest room in my parents’ house had regained the feeling of happiness and hope it had from five years before. We were going to have a baby. It felt like this time it would really work.
About a year and half later I found myself again in the guest room. This time with Joe and our newborn son, Tom. Ants had overtaken our house in Queens, and we were staying at my parents while it was being exterminated.
Now a little crib was next to the bed, and I could see my happy baby boy.
Three years later, I was laying in bed, finally getting used to the new home we moved into six months before. It seemed impossible that we would be raising our children only six blocks from where I grew up.
Our little baby girl was laying in my arms and Joe was trying to sleep next us. I was gazing at this gorgeous little creature with a shock of black hair. I could not get over that I now had the “perfect” family. A boy and a new baby girl. Could life get better?
I was looking down at my sweet angel and all of a sudden I felt a knot in my stomach. There was something in the way Lizzy was looking at me, or rather not looking at me that struck me with pure fear. I knew something was wrong with our daughter. I could just feel it.
Two years later Joe and I were laughing in the kitchen as we were getting ready to serve a five-year-old Tom and a two-year-old Lizzy breakfast in our bed.
Tom had seen a picture of Joe and I on our honeymoon having breakfast in bed and he wanted to know what it was like.
The four of us were eating, giggling, and laughing in bed.
Then shock of all shocks, a year later Joe and I are in the same bed, with a third child asleep in the corner. He was snuggled in the same cradle that my father made when we were expecting Tom.
Peter was our bonus baby, the third child we were told was impossible.
A three-year-old Lizzy sleeping in between Joe and me. A six-year-old Tom in his “Clifford the Big Red Dog” sleeping bag right next to our bed. We didn’t want anyone to feel left out now that we were a family of five.
Twenty years ago, I was living in the city with my roommate. Being preoccupied at work that week before Valentine’s Day because I knew in my heart that I was going to be getting engaged soon. I would walk the streets of Manhattan, my mind wandering with dreams of wedding gowns, babies, and houses.
Sleep that week was hard to come by while I was all by myself in my small New York City bedroom. I was anxious about what the next few weeks would bring.
Twenty years.
A lot of life can happen while you are lying in bed.
one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos
Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
Kathy – another beautiful story that brought tears to my eyes!! Thanks for your comment on my blog, I will check out Voiceboks! My husband graduated Northport High in 74, but you may know his sister Stacy Weinstein who graduated in 83, or her husband Gregg Petruzzi
Thanks Lisa for your sweet comments! Very small world isn’t it? The name sounds a bit familiar but I’m sure your husband told you it was such a big school, I just don’t remember many people at all. I hope to see you around voiceBoks. It really is a great place to meet bloggers! Thanks again for the visit!
Thanks Kathy – and I’m glad you enjoyed my blog too!! I used to love to visit Northport, they all moved away now so there’s no family left to visit in Northport
It’s a very moving story. 20 years is a long time
Thanks so much for the visit! I can’t believe how fast it all went!! xo
I got tears reading this too. Life takes routes we never expected. But what a beautiful family you have. And getting a glimpse into the type of mother you are is a treat for me. Love you Kathy! I’ll be giving my kids breakfast in bed soon–what a cute idea!
Thank you! It’s so funny when you write your life down in slices, it’s so much easier to be grateful for all I have. It’s so easy to forget all those “little” times that really make up the best part!! I love reading about you and your kids! I always say this but I wish we lived closer, we would have a lot of fun together! We have to do the breakfast in bed thing again, it was fun!! Love you too!! xo
Now, that story tugged at a heartstring…
Where you are now is where you’re supposed to be, and I’m sure you wouldn’t have things any other way. You have a lovely family… Thanks for the inspiration.
Thank you so much! I have to remind myself all the time that I am where I am supposed to be. It helps when I remember and write down these moments in time. Thanks again for you visits and lovely comments, it really means so much to me!
What wonderful things can happen in 20 years! I loved reading as the years unfolded.
Thank you so much!! I think these are the type of stories I like doing the best. I like going back to moments. Thanks so much for your visit, it means so much to me!!
What a great re-cap! It’s always amazing to look back like that, huh! I laughed reading Peter’s hand reaching out to you;) What are you going to do for Valentine’s day? What a special one for you and Joe!
That’s about how romantic things get around here Courtney, a sleepy kid hand!! Lol!! I’m not sure what we are going to do tomorrow, Joe has to work, I’m just hoping I don’t fall asleep before he gets home so we could at least have a cup of coffee together! It is so wild though! I can’t believe that in 2013 we will be married 20 years! We will do something good for that one!! Hope you and your husband have a great day!! Much love!!
So touching! So many joys and sorrows in twenty years. You really did find your “soulmate” in your wonderful husband Joe.
Maria isn’t it strange that we are both coming up on our 20th Anniversary!! The time goes so fast!! Thank you so much dear friend!
So very beautifully written, Kathy.
Thank you! I so appreciate your visits and support!! The dishwasher appreciates it too!! Lol!
So great to read that you were engaged on Valentine’s Day. So romantic. But it’s amazing how the kids can always seem to be part of our lives. Ah, mommyhood, it never ends <3
The best part of getting engaged on Valentines day is that I never forget it! Yes, the kids are always a part of our life!! Romantic, in it’s own way I guess!! xo
Beautiful love story! On occasion, my youngest (13 years old)will still climb in bed with me to visit at the end of the day…I ♥ these precious moments!
I’m going to miss it myself! Especially with Peter since he is the baby!! There is something so sweet about it, even though I wouldn’t mind a full nights sleep! Lol!! xo
What a beautiful, heartfelt story, with little bits of sadness overshadowed with longstanding joy. So well done, Kathy.
I loved reading this. 🙂
Thank you. Somehow the hard times make the great times that much sweeter. Though it never feels like that when I’m going through them!! Thanks so much! xo
Beautiful story. And your bed sounds like mine. I woke to a 3-year old in my face saying “trick or treat” for some unknown reason. Happy Valentine’s Day!
I love that you got awaken with Trick or Treat!! Both days you get candy!! So cute!! Thanks so much for the kind words and the visit! I really appreciate the support!
Love this post! Love how so many memories all come back together to the one starting point.
Hope you have a wonderful valentines day
Thank you so much! I hope you have a great Valentines day too!!
Congrats on 20 great years together!
Thank you! Thanks for the visit!
That was just beautiful. I remember how I felt when I lost our 4th in the 12th week and feared we couldn’t have more. Now, 13 years and 3 more kids later, life is a stinking miracle everyday. In and out of bed.
Kisses punkin
Sharon
Thank you! As crazy as it can get, and as much as I would like to have a whole night sleep without an invasion, I wouldn’t change it for the world!! Much love to you dear friend!
What a wonderful bedtime story! So heartwarming and written with such love and emotion! Big hugs to you my dear friend!
Hugs right back to you!! Much love my friend!
Kathy, I can totally relate! My youngest is 12 and I still don’t always sleep through the night…and then with a teen well, there’s a different set of issues to worry about at night then!
Jennifer it can seem like Grand Central Station in our room at times. I can’t get over how good they get at sneaking in! I don’t want to think about the time Tom is driving. I think I’d like to live in denial!!!
Love the story!! It’s so great how you can remember those times and stages in life that just kept getting better and better. You are so incredibly blessed with your amazing husband and wonderful children. Loves of love to you and your family this Valentine’s Day!
Thank you dear Katherine! I like to do these types of posts because it takes me back to some very sweet times in my life! I loved your Valentines day post! Your babies are getting so big!!! Much love to you and your family!
kathy, this has to be one of my favorite posts from you! i am teary and inspired by your stories of love and life!
you have been blessed with such a gift.
thank you for all you share.
you have touched so many of us <3
and thank you, for being a wonderful friend!
i hope that the next 20 years are just as rich and full of love!!
xoxoxo
maria <3
I was thinking of you when I wrote this one! Thank you for the lovely compliments!! Much love to you!!
So I found out what was happening to my comments…they were (once again) being sent directly to spam. I guess in your case they were being sent to the trash, but after I told you I had left comments that didn’t appear, I tried leaving one on another blog and the same thing happened! I contacted Akismet and they fixed it 🙂 I’m sure you were just dying to know that little story lol. At least I’ll be able to post comments again!
I can sleep so much better now that I know this Nate!! I have noticed though that you didn’t mention my piece, does this mean you did not like it, or you are so use to my brilliance that you no longer feel the need to mention it!! Lol!! I look forward to our blog swap this Sunday, though I must confess as I have been working on your piece to no avail I have thought of saying the dishwasher at my post!!
I LOVED the ending to this piece, “A lot of life can happen while you are lying in bed.” You summed up life right there. As just this morning I told my boyfriend, after having intimate relations, “See what happens if we stay in bed and be lazy?” He’s always riding my ass to get up early! Smooth piece. Loved it. xoxo
Well with two kids taking up residence in our bed I guess I forgot that’s what a bed could be used for!!! Lol!! Thank you for always reminding me! Love you! Thanks for dropping by, your opinion means a lot to me!! xo
What a amazing post. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. And I wish you many more Loving memories in your life and with your family. I can relate with the child taking up the bed mine does the same thing. I myself have been married for over 20 years and you wonder where the time has gone and most of the time it just seems like it was yesterday.
It does go so fast doesn’t it? It’s funny how many of us have company in our beds. I remember enjoying to sneak into my parents bed as well, it always felt safe. I’m glad my own kids feel that safety as well!
A lot of life and a lot of love, indeed. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your beautiful family. While we’re busy planning our lives, God is busy enacting His plan, and even though it doesn’t always match with ours, it’s wonderful nonetheless. Lots of love to you and yours!
Thanks so much Laura!! Much love to you and your family as well!!
The time flies by.. I kind of miss bumping into little people in my bed. now I have two boys with deepening voices, and adolescence oozing out of their pores. *sigh* Thank you for your beautiful post. Every family has such a special story. I love they way you tell yours.
-Catherine
It goes way too fast doesn’t it Catherine? Thanks for the lovely comments!!
What a sweet post… so many memories in one place. I will always treasure having my little ones in the bed with me when they were babies. Especially since now that they’re older they don’t come in as much anymore, so it’s a nice surprise when they do. 🙂 That’s probably why I’m not very strict with my youngest (2 1/2) and the bedtime routine, because I know she’s our last and I’m going to miss having a baby around.
They do grow up so fast!!! I can’t believe my youngest is going to be 7 in April!! Everything seems so much more bittersweet with our youngest since I know that’s it on the baby front! Thanks so much for stopping by!! xo
This is so sweet cuddling up with the kids in bed. Thanks for the Linky follow. Following you back 🙂
Thanks so much for the visit, comment and follow!!! Much appreciated!