The weather is getting warmer, the pool is open, and the school year has two weeks to go. Yet, for some reason I can’t stop thinking about the fall of 2010.
Back then our youngest child had just started kindergarten, and I was enjoying my new-found freedom of five whole hours without having to clean up from someone getting their own juice or explain why Oreos at 9:00 a.m. were not a good idea.
I was using my precious time working on the kids’ computer carefully constructing my comment for a parenting Web site.
My heart was beating fast and I had the excited feeling I get every time I try something new. I was so unsure of what I was doing that I called my friend Maria to talk me through it.
“Okay, so I’m on the site. I wrote my comment. Now what do I do?”
“Is there someplace that says send?”
“Um…Yes, there it is.”
“OK Kathy, hit send.”
We were both laughing at how this was my first time ever sending anything over the Internet.
I took a deep breath and pushed send.
“I did it!” I felt like I just cured cancer.
My dreams of a spotless house, homemade bread, and beautifully knitted creations that I would learn to make ended that day.
Somebody “liked” my comment and I was hooked. In a few short weeks, I went from someone who had never sent an e-mail to being a mom with a blog about a possessed dishwasher.
Each new comment or new follower I got on my site was cause for celebration. Maria and I would meet for coffee and discuss how many followers I added that week, or how many people commented on a post.
I would call my husband Joe and squeal with delight as I got a new fan on my Facebook page or Twitter account. All of a sudden the girl who didn’t know anything about the online world now couldn’t get enough of it.
At the age of 45, I started to feel a passion for something that I hadn’t felt since I had given up acting and singing many years before.
Well, that’s not entirely true, I was and still am passionate about my role as a mom. But as much as I adore that role, my kids are growing up. I knew I was entering a new chapter in my life and felt the need for something more.
I had been toying with the idea of writing for a while. In fact it was Maria and Joe who had encouraged me to start exploring parenting web sites and thinking about blogging.
For the longest time, I felt the need to find a purpose in my life. When I was younger, I’d thought my calling was singing and acting. But as much as I enjoyed performing, I always stopped short of fulfilling the potential others saw in me and I knew I had.
I’ve always been my worst enemy.
My biggest fear was that my headstone would read, “Here lies a women who had a lot of potential.”
Opportunities would come my way, and I squandered them. Success was something that I almost shunned in favor of safety and security.
The one thing that did not come easily to me was motherhood. And that is the one thing I fought for.
Four miscarriages in a little over a year, countless tests, and doctors appointments did little to discourage my quest for motherhood. When we finally welcomed our son Tom into the world, I knew for the first time in my life that this was a job I was called to do.
I might have been sleep deprived and a victim of “mommy brain,” but I loved being home and spending time watching Tom discover the world around him.
I felt doubly blessed when three years later I gave birth to our daughter Lizzy. And then really felt like we hit the lottery when our third child, and my comic relief, Peter, was born.
Motherhood remains my passion. I loved my job as full time caregiver.
It became doubly challenging when it was discovered that Tom had some developmental issues. I wasn’t just in the mommy zone, I had entered the special needs mommy zone.
All of a sudden my own struggles with dyslexia and my interest in early childhood melded together and I had found a purpose like no other.
I was convinced that if I was diligent and picked up every issue the minute it cropped up, Tom would not only overcome any challenges, he would exceed every one’s expectations.
Speech, physical, and occupational therapy sessions became a normal part of our day from the time Tom was 18 months old and continued to be a part of our life as Lizzy and Peter came along and had their own sets of issues.
I developed a bit of a reputation as a mother, to some I was a tireless champion for my kids, to others I was an obsessive pain in the neck.
Funny thing though, when it came to my kids, my people pleasing went out the door. I was determined to get to the root of my kids’ issues and help them thrive.
Watching my children meet and exceed expectations was and still is thrilling. Tom is finishing seventh grade, and he’s become an amazing student who works hard and has learned to be his best advocate.
First grade has been a great experience for Peter, and he is learning to use language to let the world know just how bright he is. He even got ahead of the curve and was doing second grade math. I love it when my children start to show the potential that tests have never predicted.
My early success at helping Tom overcome his challenges had me feeling a bit overconfident. I really believed that if I worked hard enough, I could solve all the kids issues, or at least help them work through them.
This belief was really challenged when our daughter Lizzy’s issues cropped up, and nothing we did seemed to bring us answers.
The pain and sadness that accompanies the realization that your child has a severe impairment was stretched out since Lizzy did not fit any standard diagnosis.
One day it would seem like we found the answer only to be dropped into despair the next as a new issue would crop up.
Specialists and tests became a normal part of our life. We had to watch her struggle for every word, every milestone. Five MRI’s showed significant brain damage, but not one doctor could tell us why or how it would effect Lizzy’s life in the long run.
Then one day I knew, I just knew that the life I had hoped for my daughter was not the reality. Acceptance came slowly. Yet all along we watched Lizzy work so hard and stay so happy despite all her challenges. Her happiness became my one desire for her. I will do whatever it takes to make the dreams she has for herself come true.
Watching my children work so hard to overcome the challenges they were given taught me a powerful lesson. My kids didn’t give up, and I wouldn’t let them.
What would happen if I started to get honest with myself and really strive for a professional goal I wanted to attain? Was I all talk and no action?
As I started to write and share our families story online, I started to feel as if I was on the path I was meant for. From the day I got my first like on the parenting site, to starting and growing this blog, I have been on a wonderful adventure.
I made myself a promise when I started writing and blogging that I would take it wherever it led. No self sabotaging, no letting fear get the best of me.
Which brings me to my big announcement. On July 16 my business partner, Val Curtis, of mental-chew.com and I will be launching an online magazine for moms: Bonbon Break…cause every mama needs one!
I sometimes laugh at the idea that the woman who didn’t even know how to e-mail two years ago is now starting an online magazine.
I am having a ball and have been amazed how quickly this new adventure has unfolded and can’t wait to share my new baby with you. As July 16 looms closer, I’ll have more details for you.
If you go to bonbonbreak.com now, you wont’ see much, all the fun is happening behind the scenes. But you can subscribe to our newsletter, which will update you on our progress as we get closer to the big day!
Of course, you will still find me here each week writing about my crazy life and my crazier dishwasher. That’s not changing.
Thank you for showing up each week and sharing this really exciting time in my life. I’m amazed at where I find myself now. The support I have found here has been priceless and means the world to me.
Kathy Radigan
That’s so exciting. I just signed up for the newsletter and can’t wait to see more. I know how you feel about blogging and the places it takes you. I feel like blogging has opened so many doors and avenues… love every single minute of it!!! 🙂
Susi thank you so much for subscribing!!! I’m very excited about it. You are so right blogging really does open new doors and avenues. Thank you for your great support!!! xo
That’s great, Kathy! Congratulations!! I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to read it!
Carmen how great to see you here!! Thank you, I can’t wait to share it with you!! xo
It is so fun to watch little ones grow and learn. I never dreamed I would like it with EACH child. You go through the first, who discovers the world, and then the second child is just as exciting to watch. 🙂
It is amazing how blogging can change you. haha I know the feeling when you see the “like”, thrills! Excitement! 😉
For me blogging was hard at first, like WHAT is my niche? Slowly I am learning what THAT is, and now what’s opening for me is the love of the “code”, or really SEEING what the “code” does to the design. 😉 HTML and CSS, headers, buttons and the like. Can’t wait to see how all that turns out.
Can’t wait to read the magazine! Love the name btw! 🙂
Totally excited about your new endeavor. I am subscribed and ready to read when it opens! 😀
Sarah thanks so much for the great support! I’m so impressed that you have got into coding, that is something I just can not wrap my brain around and I’m always so impressed by the people who do!! I think you are right that it can be hard to find your niche and voice in blogging. I know I love to visit your site! I’m very excited about Bonbon Break and can’t wait to share it with you!! xo
Hi Kathy, I can’t wait to read your online magazine! Lots of luck with it!!! If you ever need a contributing writer….
And I know what you mean about that great feeling every time you get a new “like” or comment. I am the same way, I thrive on it!
You are so terrific Kathy – so glad I met you!
Lisa
Thanks so much Lisa, I’m so glad I met you as well!!! I can’t wait to show off my new baby, it’s very exciting. Blogging has opened up so many doors and avenues to me but the thing I did not expect was all the great people I would meet through it!! Thanks for your great support each week, I really appreciate it and I think you are pretty awesome yourself!! xo
wow….so excited…am looking forward to it. Congratulations!
Thank you so much!! I feel like I’m 10 months pregnant and I can’t wait to show of my new baby!! Thanks for your ongoing support, it means the world to me!!
You are amazing. I love traveling this chocolate laden path with you. Kismet.
Right back to you my dear partner and friend!! xoxo
kathy!!!
congratulations!!! what exciting and wonderful news! i’m SO thrilled for you…and can not wait to read your online magazine! what a huge accomplishment. you should be proud, amazing lady!!
i’m going to go sign up for it now 🙂
looking forward for all that’s to come for you. i see great, great things <3
wishing you and your family a sweet week!
xoxox
maria <3
Thank you so much dear friend!!! It’s pretty exciting!! I’m crazy busy but it’s so much fun it doesn’t feel like work! My kids are less than thrilled with me but they are learning to go with it!! Thanks so much for subscribing!! I can’t wait to show you Bonbon Break!! xoxo
So much happening in such a short amount of time! Very excited for you – I’m sure all the hard work behind the scenes will be worth it:)
And being able to watch their mum follow her dreams is a wonderful gift for your kids.
All the best,
Kristina
You are the best!!! It’s been a lot of work in a short time but it really is soooo much fun!! Thank you for saying that about the kids watching me go for my dreams, I have felt a little guilty about getting so involved in this project and I needed to hear that!!! Thank you!!! xoxo
Well, that’s so cool! Yay! I can’t wait! (and yes, bon bons would be awesome.. even virtual ones!)
A new bon bon subscriber,
Catherine
Catherine thank you so much!!!! I’m really excited, it’s been so much fun even though it been a ton of work. It really doesn’t feel like work! I can’t wait to share it with you!!! xoxoxo
Kathy, you are an inspiration. Cheers to you for following your heart and passion and sharing yourself with others so they get to benefit from your amazing journey. Congratulations to you and Val on your new magazine. No doubt it will be just as fantastic as everything else you do!
Lynn thank you so much!! It’s new following my own dreams and I have to say though it’s scary it feels really good!!! Thank you dear friend for all your support, it means a lot to me and Val!!! xoxo
Your off-the-cuff writing style is so appealing as you share your Mom heart with us. Absolutely thrilled at the prospect of your new adventure, friend. (((HUGS))), Congratulations, and Good Luck! Off to sign up for the newsletter!
I love you dear friend!!! Thank you so much for all the support you have given me all through my blogging journey!!!! You have been here from almost the beginning and it means the world to me!!! xoxox
So cool that your blogging journey has taken you to new heights. Praying for great success with your magazine, friend! 🙂
Blessings
~Rosann
Thanks so much Rosann!! I so appreciate your friendship and support!! Watching you go for your dreams and write your book really served as inspiration for me to follow my own path!! Thank you!! Much love!!!
Congratulations Kathy & Val,
So excited for you both and can’t wait to read your magazine. I’ve already subscribed!
Wishing you great success,
Irene
Irene thank you so much for the support!!! Thanks for subscribing too!! I can’t wait to show it off, I really feel like I’m 10 months pregnant and I can’t wait to show off our new baby!!! xoxo
Kathy, you are an amazing woman and an amazing mom! I’ve always thought that about you. I’m so happy for you and Val in this new venture! It will be hard work, but you two ladies are definitely up for the challenge! I can’t wait to learn more about it! Wooo hoooo! Congratulations!
Blessings,
~Erin
Thank you so much dear Erin!!!! It is hard work but it’s so much fun that it really does not feel like work!!!! Val and I are having a ball and we can’t wait till we can show you all we have been doing. We both believe in this project very much and it’s been really thrilling. Thank you for your constant support!!! xoxo
Much success and happiness in your new endeavor Kathy! You’re a great mom and a terrific blogger who is kind and helpful above all else. You deserve the best…go get ’em Tigress!
Thanks so much Donna!!! I’m very excited!! Thanks for the good wishes!! xo
WOW Kathy! WOW! I am so happy and excited for you! This is wonderful! I wish you a ton of sucess and fun along the way!
Thank you so much Hilary!! It has been a really fun adventure!! Thanks for the great wishes!! xoxo
Congratulations and good luck in your new adventure! Momma’s need some time to develop their interests and talents too so I’m really glad you are pursuing this and who knows where it will lead. Enjoy it and I will look to see when it is up and going in July!!! Take care and much blessings, my friend!
Thanks Kim, it feels good to do this! I can’t wait to show it to you!! Thanks for everything!! xo
OMG!!!
I didn’t realize you were making your “big” announcement! Just had a minute to check out your latest entry…I’m so proud of you and can’t wait for July 16th!
Couldn’t have done it without you my dear friend!!! xo
Congratulations Kathy! I’m going over to get my subscription now 😉 You are an amazing mom!
Kenya thank you so much!!! I really appreciate it! You are pretty amazing yourself!!
Hi Kathy- congratulations on your new business venture. I just subscribed too 🙂
Michelle thanks so much!!! So sweet of you to subscribe, I can’t wait till you all can see it!!! I’m having a ball!!
How exciting and CONGRATULATIONS Kathy! I can’t wait to see what the magazine will offer, I have total faith that it will be awesome. Oh and I totally snickered at your comment about your headstone “Here lies a women who had a lot of potential” 🙂
Catherine, thanks so much!!! I’m really hoping I won’t need that gravestone!! Much love!
Wonderful, cant wait to see what the magazine will be like, I know it will be awesome.
Congratulations! I subscribed and will wait for July 16. 🙂
I subscribed the moment you told me. eeeeeek!!! (I hadn’t seen this little announcement yet)