My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

5 Reasons I Should Leave My Husband

By

5 reasons to leave my husband

Valentine’s Day is less than a week away, and everywhere I look there’s another article on love and marriage. Whether it’s keeping the fire alive or finding the perfect partner, there’s nothing like Cupid to spark a conversation about commitment.

I’m a huge believer in marriage — Joe and I will be celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary in March. We’ve been very lucky to have spent most of these twenty-two years very happily married. But I’d be lying if I told you that I’ve never wanted to pack up my belongings and head for the hills. Blissfully alone.

Here are my five top reasons I’ve contemplated divorcing my best friend, love of my life, and father of my three children.

  1. His alarm clock. Let me set the stage for you: I’m finally resting comfortably after being awakened by one of the kids or the bladder that each one sat on while I was pregnant with them. Sweet slumber is mine. Suddenly I’m dreaming of sirens, or another loud, obnoxious sound. Then I realize it’s not a dream but Joe’s alarm clock. Again. My dearest love sets this thing for 5:00 a.m. each day with the hope that he’ll get up and catch the early train. Rarely does he achieve this feat. But I wake up, usually threatening to step on it if he doesn’t turn it off this minute. (I never said I was perfect, but this is my list.)

    2.  

  2. Joe has a very difficult relationship with time. He’s late to every family event. It’s usually because he just wants to do one more thing before we leave. I’ve often told him that he’s going to be late for his own funeral. He reminds me that that’s not a bad thing to be late for. (How can I argue with that?)

    3.  

  3. He’s a total cover hog in bed. He strongly denies this. But there have been many, many times when I’ve dreamt that I’m hanging off a cliff in the Antarctic and woken up to find myself clutching the side of my bed with not a single one of the covers. He’s asleep as snug as bug in a rug. Joe believes I stage these scenes. This makes me laugh, diffusing any anger I’m feeling. He then calls me wifey, tells me he loves me, and puts the covers back on me. (He could at least be obnoxious about it and let me have my righteous anger, but no, he has to be nice.)

    4.  

  4. He’s a control freak and insists that there’s only one way to load a dishwasher, stock a fridge, or run a load of wash. I, on the other hand, tend to be a bit of a free spirit about these things, feeling that as long as we have clean clothes, dishes, and food, who cares how they get that way? The upside to this is that he’s much happier doing all of these chores himself which gets me out of these unpleasant tasks. But, I’m left dealing with all three kids. (A fool he’s not.)

    5.  

  5. When he orders pizza he insists on having it cut in 16 slices. Now this worked out just fine when the kids were little, but they’re now 16, 13, and 9. Our baby days are over, and I fear my husband isn’t entirely happy about that.  (Considering how long it took us to be parents, there’s something sweet about this. But for today I’m keeping it on my list.)

 
Living with someone day in and day out isn’t easy. Especially when you add in the stress of raising kids together. It takes a lot of work and commitment.

Yes, we’ve had our difficult times, but oddly enough it’s these little things that can leave me feeling as if I can’t take it one second longer. But as I was writing down my list of grievances, I realized that these are also the things that make up the fabric of our marriage and help us weather the bigger storms when they come our way.

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    I had to comment, because this totally made me smile as I think Kevin and Joe are definitely quite a bit alike, especially the refrigerator control, as I just did the grocery shopping today and put all the groceries away. Of course, when he got home and went in the fridge, he totally started rearranging, because it wasn’t the way he would have put away the groceries by any means. As he puts it, “Everything has a place.” So, yes I can so relate and love that I can 🙂
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Letter to My Bestie – When Breast Isn’t Always BestMy Profile

  4. Myke Todd says

    The part about loading the washing machine… I took it upon myself to wash all the dirty clothes, when my wife and daughters were away on a trip. They were not pleased to return to find we all had a sampling of pink clothing. Personally, I like pink socks and boxers, but they were not so understanding, or forgiving.

    As a result, I am no longer allowed in the laundry room. I am also not allowed to go to Walmart unsupervised. I do not have access to the credit card, especially late at night when infomercials are running on television, and I am the only one still awake… Do we see a pattern developing here?

    All things considered, I am lucky the girls have not written me off and tossed me in the hamper. Now, upon deeper reflection, I should make some significant, and thoughtful purchases for all of them, for the purpose of participating in the Valentines Day event. Thanks for enlightening me, Kathy.
    Myke Todd recently posted…Sleeping On a Train (sonnet)My Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Mike you had me in stitches with your comment! I think it’s very funny that you are not allowed in the laundry room. Joe would prefer that I did not go in there either! Lol!

  6. Kenya G. Johnson says

    LOL, when my dad comes to visit, he organizes my refrigerator. I am kind of a butt about the dishwasher. I like all the plates to face the same direction. There is quite a bit of rearranging before I start a load and oftern I find more room because of it 😉 My husband is also late for everything and I’d like to be on time. What drives me nuts though is that he never misses anything. It’s like we get everywhere “just in time”. So he doesn’t have an insentive to be on time. On our wedding video when the videographer asks me if there’s anything I’d like to say to the groom I say to the camera, “You better be here.” LOL! I heard he wasn’t there when I had asked them all to be but the wedding started on time. 😉

    • Kathy Radigan says

      I love that your dad organizes your fridge!! Lol! And yes, I would be totally bugged if my husband was always late yet always made it “just in time” too!! xo

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Kristi you don’t know the pizza trick? Well your little guy is still little so it would work, but now it’s a bit much! Lol! And lets hear it for men who do laundry!! xo

  8. Liv says

    We have a continual argument in my house – he insists that I’m the one who hogs all the covers – and I keep telling him I’m only pulling them back to my side because he has them all. And considering he’s a freaking furnace…he really doesn’t need them. There are however so many more reasons to stay. (And that whole pizza thing is a good idea – my kids are still small – I’m going to try it…)
    Liv recently posted…Letter to My ExMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Liv if your kids are small you should totally do the pizza thing. We actually learned this trick from all of the kid parties we have gone to in a variety of places. That is how they always serve the kids their pizza. Even the kids who are 9 and 10! We have also had the same cover argument but i now deep down he knows the truth! Lol! Yes, there are so many more reasons to stay. I actually think it’s these little annoyances that I would miss the most. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  9. Debbie McCormick says

    Ahhh yes, the pet peeves of marriage! It’s hard living with another adult, even though we love the other adult. I can relate to the pizza cutting part. We started that when the kids were toddlers because it was easier for them to hold a small piece. We still do it because we found we liked holding smaller pieces as well. Oh, and I didn’t see snoring on your list. Please don’t tell me you are blessed with a husband who doesn’t snore. I’m afraid we can no longer be friends because I would be too jealous.
    Debbie McCormick recently posted…Why having triplets was easier than having just one babyMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Deb that’s so funny that you do the 16 slice thing too. Joe gives the same reason for why he continues to do it! And I have to say, he does snore a bit, but not that badly. I think he knows how bugged I get from the alarm clock so he really watches it! Lol! xo

  10. Kerry says

    My husband shares a few of these traits as well. He actually sets his alarm clock for 4:45 a.m., and then he complains about being tired. Well, then sleep in. He is also neurotic about eating things in even numbers. Cookies, candy, crackers – he counts to make sure there is an even number. My husband also snores – I punch him for this one, but he still loves me. Going on 15 years. 🙂
    Kerry recently posted…Dear New MomMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Kerry in all honesty my husband sets the alarm clock for 4:45 too but he refuses to admit this and since he edits my blog and it was about him I let his change of 5:00 stand, but now you and I know the truth!! Lol! Congratulations on 15 years. I do think it is these little things that can drive us crazy and also endear us to our partners!! Happy Valentine’s Day!

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Nina I guess I should have explained that we learned this trick from the hundreds of kid birthday parties our kids have gone to in a variety of kid places. But hey, the kids have grown!! Lol! xo

  15. Jhanis says

    I feel the same way about my husband’s alarm clock! He has to get to work at 3 am so he sets it at 2am. How it works? I wake up because it’s so noisy then I wake him up by shaking his entire body. Pfft.
    Jhanis recently posted…Dear SonMy Profile

  16. Gina Jacobs Thomas says

    Wow, 22 years??? That’s amazing! And if these are the only reasons you’d leave your husband, then you have a seriously solid relationship, Kathy! I have to admit, I’m the alarm clock snoozer in the house. I’m sure it drives my husband crazy, but I say it makes up for all the times he gets up to pee at night.
    Gina Jacobs Thomas recently posted…The Merit Badges of ParenthoodMy Profile

  18. Sandy Ramsey says

    This is a great list and I’m sure we could all make on of our own. As for the alarm clock, I’m the early riser so it’s on my side of the bed. But I took it from my husband years ago as he is not a morning person and had a tendency to throw it…and he’s not a violent man! I love the sixteen slices of pizza. It really is kind of sweet!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…HimMy Profile

  19. Jack says

    The reason I don’t do laundry is because a thousand years ago as a newlywed I was told “I don’t do it right” so I said I do it my way or I don’t do it.

    Was a silly argument but we got beyond it and I got out of laundry but I never got beyond having the covers stolen nightly or having someone wake up an hour every day before I do regardless of week or weekend.

    But I would be lying if I said I don’t have my own few areas of “you don’t do it right unless you do it this way.” 🙂
    Jack recently posted…Nobody Beats The DiseaseMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Oh I know my husband could easily come up with his own list of things I do to bug him!! The funny thing is we both tend to be control freaks but we have picked out areas where we each employ it! Thanks for coming on by! 🙂

  20. One Funny Motha says

    I think your husband & I would get along just fine. There IS only 1 way to load a dishwasher or stock a refrigerator. God, why don’t people get that? I also love his optimism – that one day he will actually rise at the time he set his clock.

    • Kathy Radigan says

      I have to say that of all my girlfriends I am the only one in the bunch whose husband is the stickler for the dishwasher, they are the ones who really care! And you are right, you gotta love his sense of optimism!! 🙂

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
J9 Designs