My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

The Joy of Family

By

the joy of family

As I look back on my childhood, I realize that many of my best memories came from the shared misery my sisters and I endured.

Sharing the back seat of a Volvo for numerous trips to my uncle’s dairy farm, often with bags of cow manure for my father’s organic garden in the trunk.

We had to come up with ways to fight the boredom of those five-hour car trips with only two scheduled pit stops and nothing more than some 8-track tapes and each other for entertainment.

There were the times one of us dared to ask for a pet hamster,bird, or tropical fish.

My father would send us to the library, and we would have to find and read all the information we could find on the particular species we were interested in, including how to care for it.

After we completed our research, we would pile back into the Volvo and drive all over Long Island looking for pet stores that carried the animal one of us decided we had to have.

Then we would spend hours looking at the different varieties of said pet and have to ask the poor souls who worked at the store the questions we came up with from our research.

Let me say, we never ended up buying any of these animals, and my father never even had to use the word no. The man is a genius.

I was starting to feel guilty that my husband and I really hadn’t put our own three children through much shared suffering.

Years from now what would our kids talk about at holiday dinners? What material are we giving them if any one of them wants to write their own blog or mommy dearest tell-all best seller?

Joe and I decided that in order to give our kids a proper childhood, they too would have to endure a little pain.

That is why we decided to make all three of them pile into our minivan and tortured them with a family outing to the beach.

I know. We’re horrible, horrible parents. Feel free to inform the authorities now, though I’m pretty sure our 15-year-old beat you to it.

In our defense I will say that after weeks of the worst winter New York has had in years, a strange ball of fire, which I am told is the sun,appeared in the sky. Since all five of us have been cooped up in our house for weeks, it seemed like a good idea to celebrate this blessed event with a walk on the boardwalk.

Visions of fresh air, children running free, and a little family-bonding time danced in my head.

To be fair we did get some of this. In fact the kids looked liked sprung inmates as they ran far ahead of us. I even heard some laughter.

I turned to Joe and said, “Here’s our chance. Let’s make a break for it.” He reminded me that we actually wanted to have children.

We also endured some epic complaining from our teenager. Tom couldn’t believe that we not only had the nerve to think up this diabolical plan to spend time as a family, but we actually were going to carry through with it.

We gave him a choice, come with us or go without your iPhone for a month.

He gave his unconditional surrender immediately.

You’ll all be happy to know that all three of our children survived this ordeal and, to a degree, even enjoyed it. Though Tom said he will never admit this in public.

Joe and I were so proud of ourselves for giving our kids something they could complain about for years that we have decided to make it a weekly event.

Never let it be said that we didn’t do everything we could for our children.

 

 

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    Still can’t believe the weather this past weekend and so not complaining here. Seriously, spring might actually find us and it was still light out at almost 7 pm tonight. So, there may very well be the light at the end of the tunnel for us. But still great job with the family outing and we always said as kids with times like these, “Whatever didn’t kill, would make us stronger.” So true and only happy to pass a bit onto my kids, too 🙂
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Pandora Club Charm 2014My Profile

  2. Southern Angel says

    I am the baby by 11 years. I was blessed enough to not be old enough to remember much about family vacations other than songs we sang and the mountains of West Virginia. I do, however, love to retell the stories of my 3 older sisters and their various trips with my parents between Kentucky and Virginia a few times a year.
    Southern Angel recently posted…Fish Stick Fiasco I am calling you out Mrs. PaulsMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      It really is the best thing about having siblings, the stories of shared misery! We are going to do our best to give our kids lots to talk about! Lol! 🙂

  3. Jhanis says

    How is it that all vacations are not exactly how they go in our head? When my husband and I take our kids somewhere “nice” they fight like lunatics and we end up yelling, running after them or bickering about the things we forgot to bring. Yet we look forward to them all the time. LOL
    Jhanis recently posted…Postcard Exchange-Las Vegas, NevadaMy Profile

  6. Susan Bonifant says

    In a blink, they’ll be at that holiday table complaining that you never brought them anywhere. Nice take on the often underwhelmed reaction to “being together.”

  7. andrea brovetto says

    Very funny post Kathy! I never realized that was your fathers way of keep the pets down to a few. Yes those trips to the Farm I remember them well!

  9. AlexandraFunFit says

    I think your parents knew my parents. And that’s where we all got the skills to torment our own children. My two teen boys will regale anyone who seems to care with tales of the torture we’ve put them through playing OUR music on the radio, going to museums WE like, doing enforced outdoor activities, and worst of all, laughing at our own jokes.
    AlexandraFunFit recently posted…Why It’s Great to be a BoomerMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Alexandra you took your kids to museums and forced them to have fun outside? Oh you are a tough one!! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

  11. Joy Christi says

    hahaha Nicely done! You make an excellent point. We really don’t torture our children nearly enough either! I remember trips from Chicago to “Misery” (Missouri) in our family’s van. No seatbelts, no music (that we could hear in the back) or phones/screens of any kind. Just lots and lots of Slug Bug!
    Joy Christi recently posted…With Age Comes ComfyMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Joy I really think it is our job as parents to give our kids everything we can. We are really going to make sure our kids have a lot of shared misery!! Lol! xo

  13. Ashley says

    I love your lightheartedness, because I know you and Joe probably endured a little torture yourself for such an excursion. But that’s the point – making memories. Not only of the torture but of those little snips of laughter you heard, and though Tom was complaining, he’ll probably tell his wife one day: This is what we should do with our kids because this is how my parents did it with us. The circle of life, and you guys are doing it right. Congrats!
    Ashley recently posted…Cirque du Today: I’m Having Two Penises?!My Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      I probably should have used an alias or written about “another family”! If you don’t see a post from me on Sunday you might want to start baking me a cake with file in it! Lol! Thanks so much for dropping by Carol!

  16. Risa says

    Ha! In my family, we refer to these as “fun family outings.” We used to start off with the assumption that it would all end in tears. The worst thing we ever did was to make the kids polish our brass chargers before Thanksgiving (I know–this is first world torment). They still complain about it, and two of them are in their 30’s! Loved this post.
    Risa recently posted…Sorry You Missed ItMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      You made your kids polish the brass chargers and they still talk to you?! Lol! My sisters and I are all in our forties and we can entertain ourselves for hours with the things my parents had us do! We are totally planning on torturing them again this weekend! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by Risa. xo

  18. Meredith says

    Kathy, this was so very cool. “Joe and I decided that in order to give our kids a proper childhood, they too would have to endure a little pain. That is why we decided to make all three of them pile into our minivan and tortured them with a family outing to the beach.” You made my day. xo.

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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