Getting Possessed with Kathy & the Dishwasher: 2nd Victim – Vikki Claflin of Laugh Lines

What drives or possesses these talented women? That’s what the Dishwasher and I would like to know.

This week my victim is the wonderful and very funny author, humor blogger, public speaker, and former newspaper columnist, Vikki Claflin. I had the pleasure of meeting her a few months ago through a blogging group for writers that we both belong to. I visited her blog, Laugh Lines and I was an instant fan. Vikki’s honest, often hysterical take on marriage, middle age and the “epic fails” (her words not mine!) that they can bring pulled me right in and cracked me up.

I was thrilled when this talented woman agreed to be my second victim and I am equally thrilled to introduce you to her. Without further ado, I bring you Vikki:

Since I always give the Dishwasher first crack at the questions, what is the one kitchen appliance you could not live without?

Have you ever had a possessed appliance?

Yes. Every single one of them. In fact, the entire kitchen lives in a bubble of evil possession, and other than to dash in and grab the wine opener or grab a Pop Tart out of the toaster, I try to avoid that whole area at all costs.

Kitchens hate me, and they know the feeling is mutual. I swear those electric white Poltergeists lie awake at night and plot ways to make me look like those idiot actors in the “As Seen on TV” commercials where the spastic woman can’t get her pie crust properly seated in the pie pan without her $9.95 “EZ Bake Pie Pouch Pan.”

I’ve had ovens blow up and coat my cat with black soot. Microwaves have blown open and shot peanut butter sandwiches across the room. Our blender recently sent Hubs to the ER for 24 stitches in his thumb. Dishwashers have inexplicably flooded our entire kitchen. Multiple stove top fires have resulted in fire extinguishers being kept under every single counter in the kitchen and any room immediately adjacent. All my appliances work as a team. At night, I can hear them laughing.

Now that the Dishwasher is more than appeased, I would like to know is Laugh Lines your first blog?

I started one last year, but didn’t get much past the setup stages. At that time, I didn’t have a real reason for the blog to exist. People just kept telling me I should have one, and being the pleaser that I am, I set one up. I quickly realized successful blogs (as in blogs anyone other than your mother and your best friend actually reads) are a butt load of work, so I shut it down and opted to spend that summer touring the wine country and reading Gone With the Wind for the nine-hundreth time.

What does being possessed mean to you?

When something becomes so important to you, you can’t not do it. It’s bigger than your daily To-Do list. At that moment in time, it’s who you are, and no matter what, you will find a way to do what possesses you.

What possesses you right now?

Writing. Specifically, writing for my blog. I love to write. I love my blog. I especially love making people laugh. My brain writes all the time, even when I’m doing something else (like sleeping…yeah, that’s not annoying), and my blog gives those stories a place to go. Hubs states, not infrequently, that if the house was on fire, the first thing I’d do is blog about it, and the second thing would be to call 911.

When I started writing, my intent was to have a journal that my great-grandchildren could read someday after my untimely and tragic demise. Hopefully they’ll say, “Grandma was a crazy old bat, but damn, she was funny!” Right now, I have no clue where this journey will ultimately take me, but I’m having a ball along the way.

Is this something that has possessed you for over or under one year?

My blog is a bit less than a year old, but my passion for writing began in my 20s. My mother always told me that overnight successes are like the Easter Bunny, edible diet food, and women who go home in their skinny jeans after giving birth to triplets. Great stories, but total crap. Success takes work and patience. So I’m working on my patience, and trying to let the future unfold as it should.