My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

Mommy the Mogul

By

I was in the strange place between dreams. I had a sensation of floating, and my mind was at peace.

The dream I had of riding the Long Island Railroad with Gloria Steinem was finishing, and I was in a Rain Forest where I could hear the sounds of wild creatures getting closer and closer.

“Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mommy.”

“Mommy. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma.”

The animals were getting restless, and I could hear them right on top of me.

“Mommy. Mommy. Can I get a hug?”

My mind now realizes that this is not a bird that is attacking me, it’s my seven-year-old, Peter.

“Mommy I want to drive your car. Can I?”

“Sure, honey. That would be fine.”

“Yea. I can drive the car!”

“Tom, mommy said I can drive the car!”

“Mom. Do you know you just told Peter he could drive the car?”

Now my thirteen year old, Tom, was over my bed looking at me like I had finally flipped.

“Did I?” I reply, still very tired.

Now Tom is starting to laugh hysterically.

“Yes, mom you did. He thinks he really is going to drive a car.”

“Hey, Peter the Pest, you can’t really drive a car. You are only 7!”

“I’m not 7, I’m 17.”

“Tom, don’t call your brother a pest… and Peter… you are 7.” I croak this out as I start to once again drift off to sleep.

“Mom, you are going to buy me a sports car.  And, you are making my allowance a thousand dollars a week.” That snaps me out of my coma.

“Very funny” I reply.

Now we are all laughing.

Lizzy, our ten-year-old, climbs in the bed with me and gives me a snuggle and a kiss.

Where is Daddy? I say as I start to regain my mom composure.

“He went to get Dunkin’ Donuts,” says, Tom.

“OK everyone, let’s finish the Father’s Day card I made for him.”

I get out of bed and get the big piece of card stock I hid behind the breakfront in the dining room.

I was pretty impressed how well I wrote everything out, given that I started the card at 2:00 in the morning when I woke up in a panic and realized I had nothing for my husband for Father’s Day.

Ever since I began the massive project of putting together an online magazine with my partner Val, I have been going crazy juggling work, motherhood, and keeping up with the general housekeeping.

As soon as people learn of my new venture, the first thing they ask is how I’m managing my role as full time mom with starting a new career as co-editor and co-founder of a business.

The answer is, not very well.

I hate to admit it, but there have been more than a few times where I find myself telling the kids, “Hold on mommy is building her media empire,” as they wonder when dinner is going to be served.

Or times I hold Peter, play with Lizzy’s hair as I type a sentence, or listen to Tom tell me the latest adventure in middle school as I read over an e-mail.

We laugh and joke about it, but each day closer we get to the magazine launching, the more I find myself in the same predicament that my mom, sister, and every other woman who tries to balance work and family is in. The pull of wanting to be there for your family and the pull of wanting to be there for your work.

It’s a new feeling and one I’m not entirely comfortable with. After all, I chose to be home partly because I remember how it felt to share my mother with her career–I didn’t like it.

So I find myself in uncharted territory. How do I continue to pursue something I love while keeping my family my main priority?

I don’t think there is an easy answer for me. It’s going to be one of those day-to-day things. I’m sure there will be days when I feel like I’ve given much more to the magazine and days when I will wonder how I’m going to do it all.

For today, the Father’s Day card got finished, the kids gave Joe the presents they made in school, and we had a fun day with my father-in-law. The kids know they are loved and important, and I am looking forward to the day I can hire a cleaning person.

We will get through this time, maybe not perfectly, but we will survive. Plus, I get extra material to write about each week.


I want to thank everyone for the wonderful support and good wishes I received after making my big announcement. I was deeply touched by all of you that signed up to receive Bonbon Break’s newsletter. Only one month away now! I’ll continue to keep you posted. And, for those that would like to sign up, go to bonbonbreak.com. There’s not much there, but it’s easy to sign up for our newsletter so you will receive our first issue on July 16. Thanks again.

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Comments

  1. Lisa Gradess Weinstein says

    Kathy – I can relate to the juggling act! The bottom line is, with your online magazine, you are doing something that is going to give you a tremendous sense of fulfillment, and when you are happy, your kids are happy – it’s a win/win! Can’t wait to read the magazine!!
    Lisa

  2. Susi says

    Oh, I know exactly what you are going through as I find myself torn between my blog and my obligations and I look forward to hiring a cleaning lady at some point in the future!!! Good luck. 🙂

  3. Laura Day says

    I’ve always been a working mom. Of course, it’s during the day, so I usually didn’t feel guilty until summertime. My problem began when I started going back to school full-time (at night). I ended up quitting after the first semester because I felt guilty. I started back after they were a little older & it was a little easier, but I still feel guilty at times.

    I know some people let there kids to stay up all hours of the night. I set my girls bedtime at 8:30, so that gave me time to study after they went to bed.

    Congrats on the new magazine. Stopping by from VoiceBoks!

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks Laura. I think it’s such a balancing act and I can imagine when you add just one more piece on the wire it can really set you off course. A few years ago I had joined a choir and though I loved it the schedule was something I could not commit to, somehow this is just easier, maybe since it’s home and my kids are a bit older. Thanks for sharing a piece of your experience, it really helps!!

  4. Columba Lisa Smith says

    Can now relate to the tug-of-war between family and work. I’ve been putting in a lot more hours writing lately. It’s tempting to lock everyone out of the house at times, lol! (Is that funny? Guess not… I’m really tired!)It is a struggle. I’m really grateful I haven’t had to work full-time as my kids have grown. Now they’re older and it’s getting easier to manage.
    Glad you got that card done!
    Blessings,
    Lisa

    • Kathy Radigan says

      I think it’s very funny and I sometimes feel like locking everyone out too! I remember my own mom would kick us all out to play outside, and you would go out to find everyone else out there as well since their mom’s kicked them out too!! It’s so different now! Thanks for sharing!

  6. Erin says

    I sooo understand te “pull” that you’re talking about, between family and career. I have no doubt that you can pull this off, Kathy! I love this that you said, “We will get through this time, maybe not perfectly, but we will survive.” You are going to figure it all out, with a few bumps in the road!! I’m so happy for you, that you get to begin this new adventure!
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks so much Erin!!! I am having fun and I really believe I’m on the right path so it feels good most of the time. Nice to know I’m not alone!! Thanks for all your good wishes, it means so much to me!!

  8. Sarah says

    I can somewhat understand the pull. As a blog almost feels like a business to me. With opportunities starting to pop up, I feel like I am loosing control of it all. One reason I have been off voiceboks. Trying to “get it together” again. Not sure I’m there either. haha

    I liked this ““Hold on mommy is building her media empire,”” lol Sometimes that’s how it feel. Blog empire or what have you.

    If this makes you feel better, the morning of Father’s Day, I signed the card in front of my husband and handed it to him. lol 😉 He made breakfast too… But then he makes it better then me.. *wink* 🙂 Glad you had a nice day! 😀

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Sarah I started to feel the pull when I first started the blog, and then each new thing I got involved in turned the volume up a bit more, till I started this project and it all went full blast!! I think the blog is such a good way for a lot of us to try new things out and see where we might want to land! I’m so glad your site is opening up doors for you! Thanks for dropping by! xo

  9. Becky Jane says

    Love ya sweetie! I’m just starting to get back into the ‘groove’ myself. Moving has been quite the adventure! Looking forward to the grand-opening of your magazine! Sending prayers your way! HUGS

    • Kathy Radigan says

      I’m so impressed with how you have handled this huge move and am so excited for you now to be in your great new house!!! Thanks for the good wishes, it means so much to me!! Much love to you!!

  10. Audra Michelle says

    What a timely post for me! I just started a part-time mostly at-home job with my 3-under-4. It is really a struggle to get anything done. Way to go on following your dreams while balancing life!

  12. Rossel says

    Kids…they are funny most of the time. Just like you, I am trying to juggle and balance everything…as a mother, wife and everything in between. Good luck to the grand opening of your magazine! 🙂

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks so much Katherine!!! Well I have to say watching you handle two babies and getting your graduate degree help inspire me!! Love to you!

  14. Marisa says

    Balancing this crazy thing called life gets tricky but I am sure you will make it work. Good luck on the new magazine. I am excited to read it.

  16. Our Village is a Little Different says

    All changes have their adjustment period. I’m sure you’ll work it out.

    I could absolutely relate to that icky feeling. I have had days when something just wouldn’t format right, or it took me forever to get past a single sentence, and I spent way too much time in front of the monitor. The boys probably prefer it – but I could completely relate to that part.

  17. Claire says

    I am going through something similar. It is tough, isn’t it, the choices we have to make? It is really cool that you are starting something just for you. Being a mom is important, but it is not all you are.

  18. Maria says

    Happy Father’s Day to Joe! You’re so sweet to wake up in the middle of the night to put together such a thoughtful gift!
    Been thinking about you and praying that you’re doing well with your new adventure approaching its big day! I’m so happy for you, Kathy! Wishing you lots of energy and all the best, my friend!
    Hope this week is good to you!
    Xoxox
    Maria

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Well, some might say that if I was really sweet I would have done my card days earlier, but I appreciate the support!! Lol!! Maria thanks for all the good thoughts and energy I will take it all and send it right back to you!! Much love to you! xoxo

  21. Momfever says

    I can sooo relate! I’m working on my blogs, and my goal is to make a living from blogging, and I’m getting there. But there’s always that pull from the kids, the household and everything else that has to get done.

    It’s hard to find the right balance.

    • Kathy Radigan says

      It is hard to find balance!! I’m starting to wonder if it even exists! I think it’s great that all your hard work is starting to pay off, that is always great to hear!

  23. Tracy says

    Hi Kathy, wow, your life is hectic. My girls are 17 and 19 and just when I think its going to slow down for me, no, God always has another plan for us. Glad to meet you here and at voiceboks.
    God bless
    Tracy

  25. Czjai Reyes-Ocampo says

    I know how you feel!
    My 3-year old, who used to say, “Mommy, you’re on Facebook again” whenever he saw me in front of my laptop now says, “Mommy is working, she’s a writer”.

    Most days I also wish I had a helper so I can spend less time doing chores and more time for my son and my blog.

  28. Rosann says

    Kathy, I totally hear you in this one. It’s so hard to press on with a new dream when our kiddos are right there longing for our attention. Sometimes hard decisions have to be made. I’m proud of you for pursuing your new venture. I will be praying for God’s peace and wisdom to pour down over you as you juggle motherhood and your new career.

    Blessings friend,
    ~Rosann

  29. Susan Liberatore says

    There is nothing harder than trying to balance it all. So long as you remember what is most important, you will be just fine.
    And…I was jealous about the Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Truth. I can’t wait to get to Florida.

  30. Nate Shenk says

    I wish I could give you some pointers, but I think you know how bad I am at juggling things and managing my time. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been on here! Your magazine is going to be amazing and everyone is going to love it. Something in my gut is telling me that and my gut feeling is never wrong…usually. 😀 Can’t wait to see it even though I’m not a mommy blogger!

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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