My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

I’m Still Waiting…

By

The last few weeks of the school year are really when a mom’s super powers are tested. 


There’s an endless string of field days, concerts, plays, recitals, end-of-year parties for every activity and club your child is in. Multiply this by three children–in three different schools–and it’s enough to make me start thinking that cloning isn’t such a bad idea.

Once again I’m in need of a Mommy-Super-Power-Upgrade. This piece, “Searching for a Super Power Upgrade,” was originally posted here on the dishwasher on July 17, 2011, and is so applicable to my life right now that it seemed the perfect time to re-visit it: 

As I was cutting up some apples to make a fruit salad for my three kids, I found myself getting very frustrated with the little angels. I was smiling my best mommy smile as I counted the fruit and went over the colors… red apples… blueberries… oranges…. doing my best to educate as I entertained. But my kids would have none of it.

Apparently, I was just not going fast enough. Peter, our six-year-old, kept announcing the fruits that remained in pure desperation. Seeing with his own eyes that I was cutting the apples with the knife was not enough to convince him that I was in fact serious about making this salad.

I was about to scream, “I am only a human being,” when it hit me like a ton of bricks. My super powers are almost gone! The warranty must have expired, and I was none the wiser.

The card must have gotten lost among all the other papers, bills, and catalogs that come by the truckload to this house every day.

Fear not. I will just purchase a new set of super powers.

But this time I’m spending the big bucks and going for an upgrade. Mere eyes in the back of my head will not do anymore. My kids are getting older. My oldest will become a teenager in less than six months. I can’t be fooling around with discount super powers.

The following is a list of powers I will be adding to my few remaining powers of kissing cuts and banishing monsters under the bed.

IN-VISA-MOM – I’m adding the invisibility option. True, up to this point my almost dog-like hearing has been enough to thwart a siege of 11-year-olds at a sleepover from raiding the fridge at 2:00 a.m. Or, hear a hand of my nine-year-old daughter before it hits her younger brother in a toy theft.

But who am I kidding? We are moving into the teen years. I need the power to not be seen as I say goodbye to my 12 year-old son. Plus it sure could come in handy at the middle school canteens, where the mere thought of having me chaperon is enough to make him faint.

MOMMY-GO-FASTER — As I said, my current speed option is shot. Once I could cut the fruit and just use my sparkling personality to amuse the children. No more. I need the super speed option with the ability to cut fruit into perfectly proportioned pieces carefully leaving no skin on the apples. 

Truthfully, I really need to be able to just blink and produce the fruit salad. Unfortunately, I’ve been told that option won’t be ready for a few more years.

I was looking into the thaw-the-ice-cream-with-my-touch option, but that was just going to put me way over budget. The kids are just going to have to settle for the microwave.

LIFT-A-KID-ABILITY, otherwise known as the SUPER-STRENGTH OPTION — This is a must. My six-year-old is getting bigger, but I’m not quite ready to give up carrying him up the stairs when he falls asleep in the playroom. It’s bad enough I have to wake his sister and brother as I usher them up the stairs. The idea of not being able to hold at least one of my kids in my arms is just too much for me.

MEGA-MOM-MIND — I have been in need of the mommy memory upgrade for some time. I thought I was covering up the fact that I couldn’t always remember my children’s names by using a variety of pet names, but Peter is now insisting that I use his real name. The jig is up, I need the advanced version of Super Mom Memory, and I need it fast.

Fortunately for me an extra dose of patience is already included in the deluxe package. Mine is a bit frayed, but I hear this new version can withstand the teen years. I’m a little doubtful, but I’m in this mothering game for the long haul, and I’ll take whatever help I can get.

I’m very disappointed to hear that they have not come up with a super power to freeze time.

My kids are growing so fast. I have only my memories and a few hundred photos to remind me of the feel and scent of each child as a newborn sleeping in my arms. Or the look of pure joy that Tom and Lizzy had when they met their new brother, Peter, for the first time. Or the look of fear mixed with pride each time a new school year rolls around, and I make all three of them take a first-day-of-school picture.

Of all the super powers I could think of, this is the one I would pay a king’s ransom for.

Just in case my super powers should be on back order, I will just have to rely on what I was given the day I had each one of my babies… An amazing amount of love for each child and the knowledge that no matter how bad a day I might be having as a mom, the absolute best day before I had my children doesn’t even come close.

The dishwasher and I will be back next week with an original post. As always thank you for your support for me and my crazed appliance!

Comments

  1. Larri @ Seams Inspired says

    Just as excellent a read this time! I could use an upgrade on some of the super-powers too. 🙂 We’re finished with school and I’m about to embark on “Week of Momma”. Momma needs a break from the school year and end-of-school craziness. This week is mine. I’ll do whatever they want to do for the summer…next week. 🙂 Happy Sunday, friend! Hope your crazy life settles down a bit.

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thank you so much for reading it again!! I hope you enjoy your week of Momma before the craziness of Summer break starts!! Sending much love to you my dear friend!! xo

  3. Erin says

    Oh, Kathy, I know about all these super powers! Especially the invisi-mom! I remember when a favorite trick of mine starting failing. I used to say to my kids, “Is there something you want to tell me”, like I knew they had done something (I knew nothing) and they would confess to something they had done! I hated it when that super power failed! Your post made me laugh!
    Love ya!
    ~Erin

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks so much Erin! It’s so strange when one day your powers work and the next day the kids look at you like you are crazy!! Love to you!

  4. Barb W. says

    I could totally use an upgrade, too. Loved reading and commiserating with your post. MEGA-MOM-MIND – where can I get this?? What a hoot!

  5. Kristina says

    There was a little cartoon that was circling around leading up to Mother’s Day – it was a picture of two kids looking in their mother’s closet, and in amongst her clothes, they found a superhero cape, and one of them said “So that’s how she does it!”.

    I bet that even though you feel you are losing your “powers” at times, that your kids will always think you are a hero and capable of all things magical:)

    Thanks for sharing another wonderful post,
    Kristina 🙂

  6. Shannon Milholland says

    Love your list of mom superpowers! And on a total side note, I’d like to brag because summer’s been in session for parts of two weeks here already. You just have to love the sunny South! 🙂

  7. Lisa Gradess Weinstein says

    Kathy, I had a dream a few weeks ago that my 14 year old was transformed back into a baby, and instead of being happy, I was devastated because I would have to wait 14 more years to see her again, my daughter, the child I had raised who had grown into such a beautiful young lady. The dream really rattled me and made me realize that as much as I miss and treasure those baby days, I would not trade today for anything! Thanks again for a beautiful story, as usual, I could relate to every word!! Take care, Lisa

    • Kathy Radigan says

      Thanks so much Lisa! You are so right, these days are pretty special too. It is amazing to see the people my children are growing up to be!! xox

  9. Nan @ Playful Decor says

    Wonderful post Kathy! My mind is going, my logic is going but I love those moments when I can catch the kids doing something (and they don’t see me) and then I can tell them I KNOW. Mommy ALWAYS knows! Those moments are far and few but it snaps them back. And I say be done with taking the skin off the apples! It is very liberating!! 🙂

  10. Sarah says

    haha Oh my! I could go for some of those powers. Can you ship me the catalog? I think I need to upgrade some myself. haha 🙂

    Ahh.. freeze time, that one brought me to tears. My oldest IS growing up now. He is getting so independent. It’s exiting, and yet brings me to tears, because I know he will be a man someday. Oh boy I’m going to miss my little crazy boy then. But love the man he has become so much too. *sniff sniff* *grabs a tissue* *sigh* Life as a mother doesn’t compare to anything, it’s emotional, but so full of joy that we never imagined possible.

  11. Maria says

    kathy, i loved that you brought back an old post. i hadn’t read it before…i think this was right before i “met” you!
    i loved it and think it’s great to go back and read old posts.
    you certainly are a supermom to me and your children are lucky to have you!
    i loved the mommy-go-faster superpower. you made me laugh and smile as always <3
    hope the week is good to you! can’t wait for your next post!
    xoxoxo
    maria

    • Kathy Radigan says

      You are way too sweet! I think the coolest thing about blogging is the relationships I have built and that I really have people who have been reading me for a year, or close to it. Soooo cool!! You are the best my love!! xo

  12. Hilary says

    I need an upgrade too… there just isn’t enough tome in the day, and like you my speed is already maxed out

  13. An Irish Italian Blessing says

    I totally needed this today after spending all day yesterday wondering how my little girl just started preschool?!! I know that growing up is a good thing but man do I need these reminders through out the day. Lots of Love Super Mom!

  14. Kenya G. Johnson says

    Don’t you wish you could have bottle their little scent. Now my son comes in from outside smelling like a puppy (puppy is a nice way of putting it). And sometimes after his “shower” his face still smells like a puppy. LOL!

  16. Gladys says

    I hope my mom super powers stay with me for a long time. My toddler challenges me every day to be fast and strong.

    • Kathy Radigan says

      The toddler years really test the Super Powers! You should make sure you really go for the Super Deluxe Package!! Lol! Thanks for stopping by!!

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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