My bed feels so warm and comfortable. I feel my husband’s leg on mine and realize there are no children in our bed. I take a deep breath. I’m so tired that I keep slipping in and out of sleep, hearing the noises that are going on in the rest of the house without the supervision of mom and dad.
I think about cuddling with my husband and would if I could only manage to move my body to his side of the bed. I’m really tired.
As I’m contemplating this herculean action I look up and notice Lizzy over our bed looking down at me.
There she is, our sweet, special needs ten-year-old daughter. She has five dresses on, one on top of the other and now wants to get them off. This is a routine that she will repeat throughout the day.
“Mommy, I need help. Mommy. Cinderella, Cinderella, baby dance.”
“Lizzy, no Cinderella baby dance. No word salad. What do you want?”
“Hi mama.”
“Hi, Lizzy. Sweetie go ask daddy to help you, mommy is so tired.”
I don’t usually pass the buck, and I’m feeling a bit guilty. But I’m beyond tired. I can’t seem to move one muscle, and I feel like I’m under water. Plus there is the thought that I get to have this fun every day, and poor Joe misses out on the insanity. I’m betting he loves it.
I’m actually surprised that Lizzy goes over to Joe’s side of the bed without a complaint.
“Daddy, I need help. Baby dance, baby dance.”
“Did you give Liz her morning medicine?” Joe looks over to me. I guess the mixed up word salad of Lizzy’s speech reminds him that someone is going to have to give her her medication.
“No, I can’t move honey. Could you please do it?”
“Daddy, I love you. Help me.”
Lizzy is no fool. She has her father wrapped very tightly around her finger.
Joe gets up and I slip back into the abyss of sleep.
I don’t get to enjoy it for long.
My eyes open and there is six-year-old Peter standing over me.
“Mommy, I want gum balls.”
“Peter, honey, mommy’s sleeping.”
“Mommy, can we get gum balls today? Can I go with daddy to the store. I want gum balls.”
“Mommy….Mommy… I want a gum ball machine for my birthday.”
“Peter, my head has exploded…”
“And your brains are all over the ceiling” he says.
This is a game we play, and now we are both laughing. He gives my head a gentle pat completing our game.
“Mom there are your brains, they fell down from the ceiling and are all over your head.”
I’m now laughing, which is the whole point of the game. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to handle his whining.
“Mommy, I’m going with daddy to the store.”
“That’s great. Are you going to get dressed?”
“Yes.”
I fall back asleep. My eye lids are so heavy. I’m exhausted and feel like I could sleep a year and still not get enough.
“I’m naked. I’m naked. I’m naked.”
I hear Peter yelling outside of his bedroom. Laughing and yelling at the same time.
“Mommy, I’m naked.”
I look over and see that, yes, Peter is certainly naked standing in the hallway.
“I see you’re naked. Peter, get dressed. You can’t go to the store without any clothes.”
More laughter.
I can now hear Joe’s voice booming.
“Peter get dressed if you want to go with me. Let mommy sleep. Lizzy, if you want hot chocolate take off all the costumes.”
I’m relieved that Joe has it under control, and I slip once more into sleep.
Now I look up and it’s our 13-year-old Tom standing in my room.
“Hi mom”
“Hi Tom.”
“Mom.”
“Yes, Tom.”
“I need to do a take home test for reading. Can you help me?”
“Right now? Hon, I’m a little tired.”
“Oh no, not now, I just wanted you to know I’m going to need you later today.”
“OK, Tom.”
“I’m going to go with dad and Peter to get some muffins.”
“OK Tom.”
“Mom you look really tired. You should go back to sleep.”
“Thanks Tom.”
I’m alone. Once again feeling the warmth of my bed and the heaviness of sleep coming again. I really need to do something about getting more rest. I’m getting old.
As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear the boys trying to get ready and Joe barking out the orders of, put your socks on, yes Peter, you need to wear socks and shoes if you are going to go with us.
They are all laughing.
Apparently Lizzy is now running around with her magic wand turning her brothers into frogs.
Joe peeks his head in and lets me know they are about to leave.
“Are you taking Lizzy. Please tell me you are”
He smiles and says no, she is not dressed.
“Lizzy should be coming in here any minute to turn you into a frog” are his parting words. He also blows me a kiss. My reward for being turned into a frog I guess.
Just as he leaves my princess comes in and waves her wand over my head.
“Poof.”
“Oh, Lizzy am I frog now?”
“No mommy, you are a beautiful princess”
“Thanks Lizzy.”
I get a kiss from my fairy. Then she cuddles next to me.
I think back to the years before I had children. All the Sundays where I could lounge in bed and relax for as long as I wanted to.
I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I really wish I could have a night of restful sleep. But as I’m cuddling with my beautiful princess in the five dresses and a crown on her head I realize that all I have to do is blink and this time will be gone.
I take a deep breath and say a silent thank you. Tired, but grateful.
one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos
Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
Oh K-Rad I think this is one of my favorites. I’ll probably feel that way about many of your posts to come, but for now, this is definitely a favorite.
All your kiddos have such personalities; reminds me of my siblings. Thanks for sharing such a great piece of memory 🙂
Thanks for the high praise my friend!! It means so much coming from you! Oh my kids are a trip alright!! Lol!! I don’t know how your folks did it with 7!! Thanks again!!
Another beautiful post Kathy! Snif, snif….
Thank you so much Lisa! They are a funny bunch! xo
Yes, I remember those days. It seems now I only hear the echoes of what used to be. I miss them bounding in my room, jumping into the bed just to talk. I am glad you had a moment with your princess and that your little streaker finally got his clothes on!! Sweet post Kathy!
Lisa thanks so much!! I know one day I will really miss it all! I was kind of surprised with my streaker he hadn’t done that in a long time, I guess he was really trying to wake me! Lol! Much love to my friend!!
It always strikes me as odd when I tell my soon-to-be first time mom friends to sleep. Sleep deep. Sleep often. Sleep some more. Then they giggle, “I know!”. No. They don’t. But there really is no way to get this message across unless you have walked the walk. Yaaaaaaaawn. Heading to bed dear friend. XO
Val it’s so funny, people don’t have any idea just how different their life is going to be, you just can’t fathom the change until it occurs!! Hope you get some sleep this week my love! Thanks so much for stopping by! xo
This was a wonderful post! I could really picture in my mind all the hustle and bustle going on while you were cozy in your bed..
I remember well the feeling that I would never sleep again. Now that I can, I don’t really sleep that much. Weird.
Mary I don’t know if I want to know that you don’t sleep that much now, do you think the kids ruined you forever!! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by and the kind words!!
Makes those days when you do get to sleep past 7am even more precious :).
You make an excellent point!! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by, it’s so appreciated my dear tribemate!!
Sleep is overrated… these moments are priceless
You are right!! I hope you get to meet Lizzy one day and she can turn you into a princess too!! Lol! Thanks so much my dear friend!! xo
I totally understand how you feel! I feel so exhausted in the morning. When my husband is home I sometimes let him get up with our 3 year old (my youngest tends to sleep until 8, although he is still getting up to eat at night. 😉 )
I too have thought, aww yes, I used to be able to sleep! But it’s ever so true, that this will be over fast, my boys will grow up. What a great reminder, Kathy. You’ve got to admit, children make life so much more interesting. haha 😉 Never a dull moment! Your post had me thinking of my morning as I was making my cup of coffee. Jeremiah walks in, thumb in mouth, blankie in hand , “Mommy Blue milk please” (it’s white milk in a blue bottle. lol), I say “Just a minute kido” Then Noah wakes up for a moment to eat (breastfred), and then Jeremiah continues to ask. lol and the story goes on. 🙂 It just makes me smile. He waited without much complaint though. Children truly do make life so much more interesting. 🙂
Your morning is a perfect example, it’s crazy!! I love the blue milk, we have that kind of stuff here too! As crazy as it is you are right, these are the times we will look back on longingly! Thanks!! xo
I felt so tired for you while reading this, Kathy. But I also recall you saying you that you are an early riser, so I’m hoping that means you don’t stay up too late too. 🙂
My kids were at a friend’s house overnight on Saturday night and I actually felt guilty lying in bed on Sunday morning when they weren’t there, even though I am usually up before them. What is up with that? Although sleep really is wonderful, there’s just something comforting and fulfilling about the way they fill my space.
Sounds like you feel the same. Such a sweet and relatable post!
I cherish the moments when my kids have a sleep over at grandmas and I can enjoy a morning. Though, I know one day I will miss the crazy mornings!! Thanks so much for your kind words! xo
“Mom you look really tired. You should go back to sleep.” Ha, ha!
Beautiful piece. I can so identify with that deep-in-the-bones tired feeling. And the kids who get (and yet totally don’t get) that mom needs sleep. Like you, I know I’ll miss this phase of life when it’s over, but I sure wouldn’t mind a few extra winks on a weekend. 🙂
Rebecca I wouldn’t mind a good nights sleep! But, I do try to remind myself that before I know it this time will be over! I loved when Tom said I looked tired. It was all I could do not to say “You think?”!! Thanks so much for stopping by!! Much love!!
Yay! The comment box is here. I sometimes feel very guilty admitting that I prefer my empty nest now. It feels so good and satisfying though, like you checked off a giant box of raising your kids;) I loved this one…one of your best!
Thanks so much Courtney!! Don’t feel guilty you serve as an inspiration to the rest of sleep starved people that we too will get through it!! Lol!! Much love my friend!!
I laughed at the part when your son told you he wanted gum balls. So off the wall and cute!
Diane, Peter is my comic relief in life! He always has the oddest requests that all you can do is laugh!!Thanks so much for stopping by!! I so appreciate the support!
A momm’s work is never done. I hope you were able to catch up your sleep later.
No luck in catching up, I think the whole sleep ship has passed me, but I’m confident one day I will sleep again!! My youngest is 6 so what do I have about 12 years till he is in college! (Just the thought makes me cry, I can live without sleep a bit more!! Lol!) Thanks for dropping by!!
Such a sweet story. Makes me think of this last week and how crabby I got over my lack of sleep. I wish I’d handled it with a bit more tact and humor like you did here. 🙂
Ashleigh your guys are just babies, you still have brain cells left, the real humor doesn’t come till they are all gone! You have a few more years!! Lol!! The baby stage is extremely hard, and I never did it with twins! Three cheers for you!!! Thanks so much for dropping by!!1
Wow, can I ever relate. I can’t remember the last time I woke up completely refreshed…oh, wait, yes I do, it was 7 years ago – before kids:) Wouldn’t it be nice? Just one full 24 hours period with NOTHING to do but sleep, read, eat, sleep….
Kenny last year Joe and I had four days away without the kids, I missed the kids, but I’m not going to lie, it was very nice!!! We are hopping to get another weekend away before the kids are in college!! Lol! Thanks so much for stopping by!
I loved this post. I can so relate. No matter how tired or frustrated I get I try to remember they grow up so fast. Yes, I am learning to cherish every moment….even the crazy ones!
Marisa I think that must be the only way to survive, and I do know I will miss it all one day, but it would be nice if we all could get some real rest every now and then!! I guess I can hope for Mothers day!! Lol!! Thanks for dropping by!! xo
This is beautiful, I love how it ends with your daughter in your bed. So sweet, I love cuddling my warm sleepy kiddos!
Snuggling in bed with warm children is one of the perks of the job!! Thanks so much for the kind words and the visit!
i love this post! and i love your writing!
it is so refreshing to read this. i can relate so much to your reading and yet i haven’t had babies yet. you make me realize that all things i’m feeling are good things and “normal.”
i often lay awake at night and dream of sleepless nights when i will be with my baby. and then i also tell myself to enjoy what i have now bc they both are blessings.
you always make sense of things, kathy!
this was beautiful!
thank you for all your love and support…so glad we’re friends!!
tons of love to you and your family!
xoxox
maria
Maria I remember when I was going through all the miscarriages a friend of mine who had her children told me one day that she knew in her heart that I was going to have the family I always wanted, and to relax as much as I could and enjoy my life, since I had a very nice, cushy life. She was right! Try to remember the long weekends in bed, and before you know it their will be another kind of joy too!! Much love to you and your husband!! I’m so glad we are friends too!!
I love how you captured a moment so beautifully. I am certain I will need to remember this post on the many weekend mornings when I just want to climb back under the covers!
It’s harder some days than others!! Lol! Thank you so much for your visit and support!! Much love!
I was thinking “poor you, let your mama rest already” but you handled all the interactions so patiently despite your fatigue. By the end I got all teary when you mention time flying. It’s so true, we need to remember that more often, and cherish those everyday moments as well as the special moments. And cuddles are the best!
Leigh @ oneandoneequalstwinfun
Thanks so much for the kind words and the visit! The cuddles really are the best, they do make it all worthwhile!!! Thanks again!
Awww…I know how it feels to need sleep and not to be able to get it! I try to appreciate the sweet moments, too, even if they are replacing sleeping, or eating, or going to the bathroom alone… 😉
It’s the little things you take for granted pre-kid isn’t it? Lol!! Thanks so much for stopping by!!
Before I had my boys, I worked night shifts. For 12 years. To me, a sunrise meant it was bedtime. I still am lucky if I can find my butt with both hands before noon.
Suddenly, about a month ago, my children began sleeping until about 9AM, and sometimes later. I have found the one good thing about puberty. 😉
On the days when my knuckles are dragging on the floor as I get breakfast going, I cope the way you do. I remind myself how fleeting it all really is.
Thanks for your wonderful post.
-Catherine
I guess one of the rewards of going through everything twice at the same time with twins is that they do hit the sleeping stage of life at the same time!! Lol! Knuckles dragging the floor is the perfect description!!! Thanks so much my dear friend!!
It sounds to me like you are able to enjoy your life and take it all in, even when you are way too tired. That is really wonderful. Thanks for sharing, again. You have such a wonderful way with words.
Thea thank you so much!! I just hopped over to your site and saw your beautiful quilts!! Thanks again for your support!
Love this! Your writing is so smooth and accessible. I love that your kids recognize how tired you are. Out of the mouths of babes, right?! And I appreciate your honesty- because you know women are thinking it, but few say it. Terrific, lady! xo
Thanks so much!! You always make me feel so great!! I love it when Tom states the obvious, it’s so funny and I remember doing the same thing at his age!! Thanks so much my dear! Much love to you!!
Sigh, we just have one kid who is only 15 months and very rarely do we have the lovely Sunday morning cuddles. Like you, I realize that luxury is worth giving up for these precious children, but there are those Sundays where all I want to do is lounge in bed without responsibility. Thanks for sharing!
I think it’s always a struggle between enjoying the gift of your children, because you know it goes so fast, and just wanting some sleep!!! Lol!! I now know why my mom would sometimes fall asleep at dinner! Thanks for stopping by!! Much appreciated!
More than the wonderful kids, having an amazing husband is truly God-sent don’t you agree? ;-)) P.S. I don’t know when your birthday is, but my birthday wish for you is a deep, restful sleep. I really think you need it.
Joy you are so right, and it is easy to take the amazing husbands for granted, isn’t it. Thanks for the reminder to give my husband an extra kiss today!! I appreciate the birthday wish, even though it’s not till October I’ll take it now!! Lol!! xo
Sleep??!! What’s that?
Yes, they are precious and beautiful and fulfilling. But they’re also perfect when they’re asleep for at least 12 hours!
OH…and thanks a lot for making me get all teary eyed. 🙂
You got a point dear friend, they would be just as precious if they slept 12 hours!! Lol!! Thanks so much for dropping by my love!! xo
Wow! This is one of THE most real, honest, loving, peak into family-time post I have read in a long time!
I am so thankful I joined Voiceboks yesterday, which lead you to visit and comment on my blog; which of course, led me here doing the same. 🙂
So nice to meet you and your family. Can’t wait to read more!
Linda thanks so much for the great compliment!! I’m glad you joined voiceBoks too! Great to find your site as well!! Thanks so much for coming by!!
Aw, what a sweet post! I remember when my boys were little and I was so tired that some days I didn’t think I’d be able to stand.
Now they are 19 and 14, and guess what? I’m STILL exhausted!
Yes, it was easier when it was just my husband and I. But I wouldn’t trade one minute of my time with my kids for a good minute of sleep. I’ll sleep a-plenty when I’m dead! 😉
Pamela don’t tell me it doesn’t get easier!! You still get no sleep, yikes!!
I agree, I wouldn’t trade one minute of my time with my kids either!! You make a good point of getting plenty of sleep when we are dead, but I do hope I don’t have to wait that long!! Lol!! Thanks so much for coming by!!:)
Enjoyed your post! Whoever said “you get plenty of sleep when you’re dead” must have had a nanny!
You are too funny!! Love you!!
Simply beautiful!! Loved it! And I can so relate to the exhaustion. The more kids, the more exhausted 🙂 Glad you got to rest a bit.
Hey, I’d love to get to know you a bit better, so I tagged you in my most recent post…no pressure, but if you feel like it, that’s great! 🙂
http://fromnyccorporatetosuburbmamas.blogspot.com/2012/03/11-things.html
Thank you so much for the kind words! I think the one thing we moms can always agree on is the lack of sleep that comes with this job!!! Lol!
Thanks so much for the tag!! I appreciate it, and will certainly drop by your site!! Thanks again!!
Beautiful uninterrupted sleep…what every mother longs for and then when it happens we wake up wondering who’s dead or what’s wrong and then we can’t go back to sleep until we’ve checked all the kids!!! Lovely post my dear! HUGS!
Becky you had me in stitches with the idea that when all is quiet you are afraid that they are dead and then you do check on them!! Lol! Thanks so much my dear friend! Hugs right back to you!
You will miss it, Kathy. I know I do. No more room in our bed for our babies and my oldest leaving for college in the Fall. Funny and heartfelt blog post.
Thanks so much Val. I know I will miss it. You must be going crazy with the fact that your oldest is going to college next year. I have a few friends facing the same thing next year and they are dreading it and at the same time excited. Yikes!! Thanks for giving me one more reason to enjoy my no sleep days!! Much love to you!
Oh Kathy, I’d love to be a fly on your wall some days. Your children keep you on your toes!
I know how it is to be so tired you feel like you can’t move. I’ve especially been experiencing it lately since my son has been having an increase in seizure activity.
Michelle I’m so sorry your son is having increased seizures. I can only imagine what you are going through. You are amazing! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son at this hard time. xo
Oh, how many times I’ve been there. It’s much easier now, especially since my youngest LOVES to sleep late. Every weekend, I’m up before he is. But I haven’t forgotten all the sleepless nights and exhausted days. And, yes, they are over in the blink of an eye.
Christina thanks for reminding me that it will all be over one day and I will miss it more than I know! Much love to you!
I loved this post Kathy, I felt myself relax each time you were about to drift off again and picture my son every time you were interrupted. The time does go by so fast. Many MANY times he has stood on my side of the bed and I look to the floor to see if he is standing on something. I’ll say, “You grew in your sleep last night.”
Kenya it’s so true about looking at them growing up, literally right before our eyes. This morning when I dropped Tom off at school I saw him in his leather jacket holding his decaf Starbucks and I was freaked out!!Thank you so much for stopping by!!
Sometimes as a mom, we get so tired and forget to take care of ourselves–mind, body, and spiritually. But we love our children so much that we sometimes forget. Just five more minutes of sleep is all it takes to just maybe renew, hahaha 🙂
You are so right Barbara, we do get so into taking care of our kids that we do forget to how much sleep we really need. Thanks again. I could use 5 days of sleep! But I will take 5 minutes!
yes…they are worth the lack of sleep.
and time.
and money.
and friends.
and clothes.
etc….