Some days I’ll never forget. The events are so etched in my memory I can at once be brought back to the exact feelings I experienced. My wedding day, and the births of my three children are the good ones.
Then there are the bad days, and September 11, 2001, may be the worst of all. The panic and grief overwhelmed me as I watched the towers burn and fall on that horrible Tuesday 10 years ago.
The first memory is that it was a gorgeous late summer day in New York. We had been in our new home just a few weeks, and everything still had a new scent to it. The paint was fresh and the walls were clean and waiting to be adorned with pictures and decorations.
It was also an extremely stressful period in our life, with some of my worst fears coming true.
Five days after we closed on the house, my husband was laid off from his job. Anyone would panic, but for us, it was our personal nightmare come true.
I was five months pregnant with our second child, and the pregnancy was getting complicated. I had just switched from my regular ob-gyn to a high risk pregnancy practice. I was going to need to be very careful and get as much rest as a mom with a two-year-old and a new house could.
Despite all the turmoil, I woke up that beautiful September morning feeling happy.
My husband is a financial writer, and some freelance work was beginning to come in. A few days earlier, he had a one-day assignment at the New York Stock Exchange, and he stopped in a coffee shop in the World Trade Center to go over his notes before coming home.
Joe was in his home office interviewing a source for a story. The next day he was supposed to fly down to Washington to cover a conference. I loved having him around. It seemed like I was really going to need help, and maybe it was working out for the best that he was freelancing now.
I was also enjoying living six blocks from my parents. I had lived in Manhattan and Queens for 18 years. It had been a long time since I was able to see my parents on a regular basis. I could hear my mom and then-two-year-old Tom playing in the sun room and listening to Blues Clues.
Gratitude filled me as I was making Tom’s new bed and looking at his big boy room. The clouds my sister and brother-in-law had just painted a week ago were finally dry, and I loved the new airplane border.
I was pregnant. We had a lovely house. We still had some savings left. Joe was getting work. We would be okay. The sun was shining. The radio was playing the oldies music I loved. Life was good.
As I was finishing making the bed and arranging animals on Tom’s bed, the music stopped and the news cut into the broadcast. The announcer said a plane had hit the World Trade Center. My mind immediately downplayed it. I’m a born and raised New Yorker and do not jump to conclusions or panic easily. I figured it was a small private plane that got into some odd trouble.
Not forgetting my assistant skills from my working days, I wrote a quick note to my husband and put it in front of him as he was talking on the phone: Two planes hit the World Trade Center.
He looked at me and said something to the person he was interviewing.
I ran into the sun room where my mother and Tom were playing. I switched the TV to a news channel. All of a sudden, there was President Bush telling the world that two commercial airlines had hit the World Trade Center, apparently the work of terrorists. Our country was under attack.
The three of us were glued to the TV.
Then the phone started to ring.
People calling to see where Joe was. People calling to see if we heard from my sisters and brother in-law, all who worked in various offices around midtown Manhattan.
My sister worked right by Grand Central Station and was panicked. There was talk of evacuating office buildings. No one knew if there would be another attack, or when or where it would be. Everyone felt vulnerable.
At some point, we heard news about the plane crashing into the Pentagon. TV reporters said people were jumping from the towers. I could only imagine the terror inside.
I know Lower Manhattan pretty well. I had worked in the area for a while and visited the World Trade Center on many occasions. Joe and I dined at Windows on the World for our fifth anniversary and spent the weekend at the Marriott Hotel adjacent to the towers.
Thoughts raced through my head as I watched the nightmare unfolding on TV.
We started going through a list of the people we knew and where they worked. Who did we know who worked in or around the Towers? Are they safe? More phone calls.
Joe, my mother, and I were just stunned as we watched the reports come in. Tom must have heard something about people jumping from the buildings because for weeks afterward Tom would say “People jumped from buildings.”
After what seemed like an eternity transifxed to the horror on the screen, the unthinkable happened–the World Trade Center’s south tower collapsed into a massive smoke cloud.
None of us could absorb the shock. For close to half an hour, we watched the horror continue to unfold with the north tower. Then the unthinkable became all too real for the second time in 30 minutes.
With both towers of the Trade Center gone, there was this odd void in the Lower Manhattan skyline that didn’t belong there. What had just happened was just too much to process. It seemed as if the world had ended and we were watching it on television. Safe and sound in the suburbs. My friends and family in the city.
Some time in the next hour came the report of Flight 93 crashing in Pennsylvania.
Watching the towers fall as if they were made of Tinker Toys and Legos is something I will never forget. The thought of all the people in the building, gone forever. I was fixated on the horrible thought of what their families were gowing through. All that death. All those firemen, police officers, and paramedics just doing their jobs. All of them rushing into a nightmare to help others.
Out in the suburbs, the streets were quiet. People didn’t talk much. We couldn’t get through to anyone in the city and had no idea where my sisters and brother-in-law were.
Every so often a plane would fly over and send pure panic down our spines.
My father left his office early, and my parents, Joe, and I just continued watching the news as I continued doing for weeks after.
I would watch women and men show pictures of their loved ones, hoping that someone would be able to tell them anything.
TV reporters I had watched for years were crying and visibly shaken as I had never seen them before.
The world had changed.
I was terrified for my son and the baby I was carrying. What kind of world was I bringing them into?
A stuffed lamb for our oldest son and one of his favoritie books, The Runaway Bunny, were gifts from a former colleague of my husband who had been at a conference in the north tower that morning. Other co-workers got a cell phone call from him as he said he and other conference attendees had found a stairwell and were trying to get to safety. That was the last communication with him.
Thankfully, our lives were not touched directly. My family was safe, and our closest friends were unharmed. But it was hard to feel grateful, when all around us people were suffering.
Four months later our daughter was born on January 11. Five weeks after we brought her home from the hospital, my husband started a new job. We all were encouraged to move on yet remember. Life went on.
Yet that day and the days that followed are etched in my consciousness. I still think about everyone who was lost and the memorials that are held every September. My heart aches for all the lives that were lost that day, and all the lives that have been lost since because of that day.
Today we live in a world where terrorist threats seem common, and young men and women who should be in college, starting jobs, or with their families are now fighting two wars.
The one thing I try to impart to my children about September 11, is that although we saw what real evil could cause on that horrible day, we also witnessed many more examples of what real love and sacrifice looked like. In the end, good triumphed over evil.
Kathy, thank you for writing this and sharing with us. As I sit here watching MSNBC and all the remembrances of 9-11, I am also reading blogs and stories on the internet. These personal accounts are all moving, and reading them somehow connects us to each other. This was beautifully written.
Kathy, you are so right. Good triumphed over evil. In an attempt to separate us, to crush us, we were, in that moment, brought closer together, challenged to do what was right in the face of unspeakable opposition. I only hope we can continue to remember that unity, to reject desires to racially and religiously divide ourselves, to help one another despite the incredible odds against us. I am glad you were not impacted directly. I cry and pray for those who were. Our children will never understand the feelings we hold about this day, but it is our duty to help them. We can’t forget, as so many others say, because forgetting leads to repeating. Thanks for this wonderful post. (And thanks for writing a review on Alexa for me! I just saw it this weekend. I jumped up and down with joy. I did. Ask my husband!)
Michael Ann and Laura thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read me piece. It was such a hard one to write. I have been reading other accounts of that day and it is all so moving. Laura you are right there was unity that day and I hope we can find it again.
Laura you are so cute!! I loved writing the review and I meant every word!! I have a question though, how did you claim your site, I have not been able to!
Thanks again guys, much love to you both!
Thank you for sharing your story…I am really touched right now and filled with tears of sadness…I felt like I was right there in your living room that day as I read your words. I am so happy you and all your loved ones were not directly affected but how sad that day was….words can not express!
Wow Kathy, I didn’t know you were right there. I’m so glad you and your family were safe. Even without living near there, and not knowing anyone, it just has such an impact on all of us Americans. All of that loss and pain still lingers 10 years later.
Thanks for a great post:)
Kathy, I appreciated hearing your perspective and memories. I remember exactly where I was that morning and the emotions in those moments. The magnitude of those events highlighted the pain and trauma individuals endure privately on a daily basis. I’m thankful God makes all things new.
Your poignant story of your experiences has brought me to tears. The terrorists thought they were penetrating what they viewed as our weakness; when what they found was liberty, freedom, and courage. Good did triumph over evil. Thanks for sharing your heart, sweet friend.
Love-n-hugs, my dearest bloggy friend
It is such an emotionally devastating day.
Shanan
http://yogi-mommy.blogspot.com/
Thanks Kathy for sharing your experience. Living in California, though affected, it was not quite so personal. I was in the car driving to work when I heard that the towers had collapsed .. I hadn’t turned on the TV that morning so I didn’t know what was going on .. actually I was dropping my kids off at school and turned the radio on — the DJs on all the stations were so somber I knew it was something really bad ..
I read every word of your post. Every time I read a personal story about 911, it never fails to make my eyes wet. We are here in the Philippines yet we have lots of friends in the US. Thankfully, none of them were directly hit. Miracles filled many lives as they realized they were supposed to be in the area but somehow got out just in time. It was a time people called on God like never before. Sadly, people seem to forget Him when all is well.
Thank you for sharing your story. Reading it, it put back right back to that day. And I could really see your story happening before my eyes while reading it.
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. I live near the City and my husband works in the city. He was getting ready for work when it happened. Live life to the fullest. After that, it took on a whole new meaning. And yet, we all bonded closer as Americans. Amazing.
Denise
http://www.beforeandafter50.blogspot.com
following from voiceboks
Thank you all so much for sharing some of your memories of that day as well. I too remember feeling very united that day, and I too am sad that it takes that type of tragedy to bring us together as a nation. As always I cherish your support and blogging friendships. The support I get here means so much to me, thanks! Much love to you all!
Kathy,
I don’t even know what to say. I cannot imagine being that close to the situation that day, the thoughts that were racing through your mind, the terror of a loved one maybe being there. Thank you so much for letting us have a glimpse of these moments in your life. I cherish the fact that I have gotten to know you a little through voiceBoks. You are a blessing to me!
~Erin
Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot imagine what you went through. Still such a painful experience for everyone.
Thank you for sharing your story. That must have been so tough!! So glad you and your family were kept safe
Kathy, I so appreciated you telling about your experience. Your story was so vivid and took me back to that day. What a tragic time. I too like to see the examples of good that triumphed. My heart still goes out to those who lost loved ones and for those who continue to serve our country.
kathy, this post had my eyes glued intently to the screen. thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences during that day and time. with all you had to endure in all aspects…with all you had going on. wow. you are so strong.
i can’t imagine all that you were feeling. you are so blessed and i love how you much you know that. each one of your posts reflects that.
hope your week starts off great!
thank you again, for your comments. it is nice to know someone understands 🙂
xoxo
maria <3
This is beautiful, thank you.
We felt the effects in Georgia. I received a call at work from a friend at NBC; a brother-in-law saw the explosions as he rode a bike to his job with Sesame St; a dear childhood friend safely boarded the last boat back to NJ, traumatized by the sounds of people jumping.
Lives changed forever. I pray we never forget.
Thank you for sharing your story. You were very blessed on that day that all of your family members were safe and accounted for! I was only 13 when the attack happened and I was in the process of switching classes at my middle school. I remember going into my HomeEc class and our teacher saying something about the attack,but that was it. Our school thought it best not to worry the students so they didn’t let us watch the press coverage. I do remember going home that evening and my parents in a panic over gasoline. They filled up both vehicles and every gas can that we owned.
A big lesson I learned from 9/11 is that No matter how had Satan tries, he will never win…good will conquer! Americans a awesome!
I can’t imagine having to go through a list of where people worked etc. How terrifying!
I was pregnant at the time too. Our kids must be really close in age. Mine was born on 12/10/01 😉
Kathy, what a story. I am glad that you were ok. What a nightmare that must have been – being right there. Though it was a terrible time for all American’s I’ve always felt for the New Yorkers who were up close & personal to it all.
Kathy, I’ve been ‘away’ for so long that I’m just now seeing the new(er) look! Love it!! Anyway, I’m passing on the Versatile Blogger Award to you…again…hehehehe….It’s on my Catharsis post.
I can just imagine the grief and panic some families must have felt that horrible day. And the families that are still hoping for some closure.
Hope you’re having a great week,
Barbara
I got chills reading your post, I cannot imagine the feelings that you must have been experiencing that day. I still pray for all those affected by that day. Glad you and yours were safe and able to see the love and unity that this tragic even brought to New York. I saw an interview with Mayor Guiliani and although it was a huge tragedy, he was so proud of the way New Yorkers reacted and it just reinforces how lucky we are to be Americans.
This gave me goosebumps! Thanks for sharing with your readers!
Kathy, thanks for sharing your unique perspective. I felt like I was there with you feeling it all with a babe in the womb. So close. So familiar. So intimate.
Thankful for friends like you who applaud the good and persevere through difficulty.
What an amazing story. I will never forget where I was when I heard about the Towers. I know this is a very scary world we live in. I just pray everyday.
This is an amazing story. Thank you for sharing. I’m sure world will never forget the day.
Evenful first day
Thanks for sharing the story. It must be hard experiencing the real situation. It has been 10 years and I believe lot of people would still be traumatized with incident. RIP to the people who has left us.
Thanks for sharing your emotional story with us. I will never forget where I was that day. I can’t imagine what it was like to be in the city.
VoiceBoks Member
http://mytvobsession.blogspot.com/
http://goingfullthrottle.blogspot.com/
Thanks for sharing your memories of that day. Mine were in many ways similar. I was pregnant with our first & living in the NYC area.
vb
Hi Kathy,
Just stopping in again from vB. Isn’t it nice to get double the traffic! Just spending a little time here so Alexa can see me;) Keeping your bounce rate low…taking a look around…I actually read every one of your posts, because I love them!
Cheers,
Courtney
I’m always so excited when I get read all of your great comments! Thank you all so much. That day was horrible but it did prove how we can come together as a country. I also always know that there is so much more good around us than bad, even on day when I have to really work on beliving that!! Thank you all again for the wonderful support. Much love to you all!!
Still to this day I remember exactly what I was doing when this happened, as we all do. I agree that the feeling of unity was so strong. Thank you for sharing your memories from that day. I am so thankful you and your family were safe.
new friend and follower from vB follower party!
http://www.facebook.com/amomjustwingingit
http://amomjustwingingit.blogspot.com
Thanks!
Oh my! I think the whole world was effected by 911. I feel especially for people that lived in NY at that time.
I had just moved from Atlanta, GA to Omaha, NE. My husband and I were expecting good change, then 911 happened. My husband started his job on 911. My friend got married the weekend after. Many of her relatives couldn’t make her wedding because of how scared people were to fly. It went from a happy time to a scared time.
Oh I so love your post! It makes me teary while reading it! I’m glad you were all safe. I felt bad for all those who perished. My thoughts and prayers are with them and their loved ones. I remember I was pregnant with my eldest daughter that time too, and the horror I felt was overwhelming. Yet life goes on. Eventually the good will triumph over the evil. Thanks for remembering.
Kate
http://mommygrowingup.blogspot.com/
Such a hard post to read, Kathy. In fact, I hadn’t read any Sept 11th posts this year till this one. I know where and what I was doing that day, and I too won’t forget. It’s sad and uniting all at the same time.
That day was a dreadful day. And wow – I had no idea you guys were there. I often wondered what it was like behind the scenes from what we saw on TV. To hear stories from people like yourself that had first hand sights of it all. So glad your family was unharmed.
Dear Kathy – I was working at a hospital PR department in central NJ when co-worker told me a few minutes after 9 that a plane had hit the world trade center…like you I thought it was just a small plane. Later that morning, when I heard about the Pentagon, that is when it really sunk in that we were under attack, and that is when true terror took hold. It was truly a terrifying day.