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Proud to be a Stage Mother

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Lizzy Dance Graphic I run through the list in my head. Dance costume? Check. Jazz shoes? Check. Do I need hairpins? No, this is only the dress rehearsal, I’ll get hairpins and hairspray before the recital next week.

I reach in my closet and get the costume. I don’t know why I have butterflies in my stomach, it’s my nine-year-old daughter who will be preforming, not me.

For a minute I panic as I reach up and can’t find the package I left up in the outer reaches of my closet.

Oh, thank God, here it is.

Check the time. 11:45. OK. I’ll get her in the shower and she can have lunch, get dressed, and then run to the rehearsal. I want to get their early so Lizzy and I can relax before it gets crazy with all the other classes getting ready to go over their routines.

12:15. We’re still on schedule.

“Lizzy, come on. Let’s get our costume on.”

I look over at my twelve and six year old.

“Peter and Tom, please make sure you are ready. I do not want to be late.”

“Oh, mommy! This is so pretty and sparkly.”  I love this little girl so much.

She looks so much more grown up than the little girl who wore a white sequined tutu four years ago.

Lizzy poses in the mirror. Hand on hip, the other arm extend up. She definitely has inherited my ham gene.

“I look beautiful.”

“You do Lizzy. You look like a princess.”

Tom comes in and sees her posing in front of the mirror.

“Lizzy you look so pretty. You are going to do such a good job.”

“Thank you Tom.” She is so lucky to have an older brother who adores her.

“Lizzy! Look at you! You look so pretty!” Joe beams at his daughter and grabs my hand.

He is the one person who knows how important it is for me to see our daughter preform in a dance recital just like any other little girl.

We make the made dash to the car.

I do my best drill sargent impersonation: Move it, move it. Come on everybody I do not want to be late.

“I want to see my grandma and grandpa.”

“Yes Peter, they are meeting us there. Come on, lets go, moveyour tushy!”

It’s hard for me to be annoyed with my baby when he flashes his winning smile. My hard mommy reserve cracks under his charms.

We get to the school where the recital will be at 1:00 p.m. Perfect.

“Kathy, you and Lizzy get out here, we will meet you inside. OK Missy Liz, have fun. We will see you in there with Mommy.” “Do you have her dance bag?”

Of course I have her dance bag. I’m a mother.

“Got it. Come on Lizzy. Say goodbye to the boys.”

“Bye boys.”

Lizzy and I are both excited to see all the other girls dressed up in their costumes. Ballerinas… Cowgirls… Hip hop girls…Where are the girls from our group? I look around, and we are the only ones here. I hope I didn’t mess up the time. We were supposed to be at the second rehearsal, right?

Big sigh of relief as I see the other girls from her class arrive.

I love the sense of community and excitement. Even though we don’t see each other often, we all know each others’ stories, and have watched our children grow and change. It is one of those strange treasures of belonging to the “special needs community.”

There is an unspoken understanding, and we huddle around each other, as the other dancers–typical little girls who don’t have to struggle for every milestone–walk around us. We do our best to ignore the stares. Their is safety in numbers. 

I look around and can’t believe how big the girls have all gotten. The special needs class has changed a bit through the years, but the core group of six has been together for four years.

Miss Maria comes over and gives each girl a huge hug and kiss. The pride she has in “her” girls is obvious to anyone within a mile radius.

I look at her and wonder how I ever will be able to adequately thank her for giving Lizzy the chance to dance and be like any other child.

Maria is definitely one of the angels in our life. I marvel at her ability to combine her love for dance with her profession of teaching special needs children. She has the patience of a saint. She has given my daughter the chance to express herself and always treats her with such respect and love. Whenever I feel sorry for myself or Lizzy, I need only think of people like Maria to realize just how blessed we are.

Time for the girls to line up. Lizzy doesn’t need me to “babysit” her backstage as I once did. Nervously, I give her a kiss and walk to the auditorium with the other parents. I see Joe, the boys and my parents. My mother is already crying, and Lizzy isn’t even on the stage yet.

“How is Lizzy doing? Do you think it is a good idea to leave her alone backstage? Who is back there with her?”

These questions don’t come from my husband or parents, but from Tom. I swear he is more protective of her then all of us combined, and that is saying a lot.

I glance over at Peter, who has two tissues stuck in his ears. I look up at my mom and she just smiles and shakes her head.

The girls come on the stage, and my heart is now in my mouth. It is beating so loud, I could swear everyone can hear it.

Lizzy’s smile lights up the stage. She is dancing so well, only forgetting a few steps, and I only know that because we have been going over the routine for months.

She looks so happy. I feel the tears stream down my face and I could just bust from pride. I look up and there is Joe with the same huge smile on his face. Tom and my parents are beaming, even Peter, tissues still sticking out of his ears, is smiling.

The dance ends, the audience roars with applause, and I am so excited that I get to do the whole thing over next week. I run and give my dancer a huge hug, feeling like the luckiest mom in the world.

Comments

  3. Tired Mom says

    I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! What a profound moment for both you and your princess. I wonder if one day, I will be lucky enough to see my daughter on stage as well. Congratulations on the MANY accomplishments both of you have made!

  4. sandbox gems says

    Yay for Lizzie and for you MOM! You both got through it beautifully and it sounds like Lizzy was beaming! I know I’m nervous for my kids whenever they have to get up in front of people. Thankfully, they seem to do just fine. Great accomplishment and you should be proud!

  5. Lindsay says

    Once again, thanks for another great post. I can imagine your pride watching your little girl dance! I love dance recitals!

  7. Susie B. Homemaker says

    What a great post… thanks for sharing it with us. I felt like I was right there with you experiencing everything first hand. What a proud moment for Lizzy and for you guys! Glad the rehearsal went well and I’m sure the night of the recital will be even more special. 🙂

  8. XLMIC says

    Beautiful telling of the event 🙂 What a special moment for you and Lizzy… and the rest of the family! There is so much love there 🙂

  10. Grumpy Grateful Mom says

    Congratulations to your sweet Lizzy AND her mom! It’s a lot to get a daughter ready for a dance performance and not forget anything. I am not so successful myself. I always forget something!

    I’ll bet Lizzy loves every minute of it, especially the big hug from her crying mom. 🙂

    I always appreciate you beautiful posts. Your love for your children beams through your writing.

  11. Kathy says

    Thank you all for such great and lovely comments! I realy appreciate every one of them! It is defiently a gift of parenting to get to watch your children do something they love to do!! Thank you again for spending some time with me and my crew!! Much love to you all!

  12. thea says

    Neither of my girls danced when they were young (though my oldest daughter took a dance class in high school). Recitals are so fun and it sounds like Lizzy was well prepared. What a fun and proud moment for you.

  13. Jonna // Thirty-One Consultant says

    Love it! I’ve been a dance mom for 10 years now and still at it! And a stage mom when she was younger. My daughter just loves dance and performs with company through her studio and is on the dance team at her school! Your article was very heart warming and made me long for the days when my daughter still ‘needed’ her mommy backstage.

  14. Gifts By Katherine says

    Yea! well done!! I love dance recitals. My daughter was in dance when she was young. Now our oldest granddaughter is in ( hip hop and jazz) Congratulations on being one of the VB members of the month! Hugs!

  16. Kelly L says

    Great post – it reminded me of my sister with her two daughters who danced since the age of 3 – all through elementary – middle school – high school and college.. What did they get out of it? So much. Time management in school and life. Self confidence. Life long friends – a special unbreakable love and respect for my sister… The oldest niece graduated top 1% in her master’s degree class – she still dances. Her sister just finished her 1st year of graduate school and has been a dancer at Disneyland since her first year of college… both girls are successful – healthy – have self respect – and I truly believe much of this is because of their dance and my sister who was a “stage mom” –
    You rock and your daughter will be thankful for this!
    I’ve Become My Mother
    I’ve Become My Mother facebook

  17. coolestfamilyontheblock.com says

    That was just beautiful. It’s hard to imagine just how you felt, but you described it so wonderfully I felt like I was there. Some parents complain about having to go to events like this, but it’s so nice to see that you support your daughter and see how important this is to her. I love all of the big brother comments that your son made. That’s a mark of great parenting 🙂

    Great job, Lizzy! You’ll rock it next week too 🙂

  20. The Substantive Mom says

    Hi! I am visiting from voiceboks. This is such a touching post. It’s amazing how we feel to see out little ones mature and soar on their own. My 11 year old daughter is graduating soon, and I am bursting at the seams. I can’t believe how fast time has gone by.

  25. An Irish Italian Blessing says

    Oh my goodness, what a beautiful day!!! I bet Lizzy absolutely shined on the stage in her pink sequined. I’m so glad the dance went so well and I hope and pray for many many more successful stage mom opportunities!

  26. Kathy says

    Thank you guys!!! I love to read your great and thoughtful comments!! I love to see Lizzy and the other girls up on that stage, it just shows me that we never really know where our lives are going to take us and to never underestimate the power of our children, no matter what their needs are!!! Thanks again, I hoping to have a picture up of Miss Liz in all her sequin splendor!!! Much love!!

    Kathy

  27. Hot Mama says

    So amazing! I remember dancing in recitals and I can only imagine how proud of her you are. I had so much fun dancing and remember it well and I hope your daughter holds onto these memories too

  29. ThatsAWrapMom says

    I so love reading your posts every week. They are so pure, raw and honest. I only hope I can make my readers feel the way you make me feel and the picture you paint. I was sitting right with you all in tears while shaking my head at the tissues in his ears. Thank you for allowing me to be part of her recital! I love dance and am so rooting for the princess!

  30. Rosann says

    This is so beautiful! You’ve got me all excited. My six year old is performing in her very first dance recital next Friday and I’m so nervous for her. I know she’ll do great, but I worry that she’ll get lost in the dressing area or otherwise need me and I won’t be able to go back there to help her. 🙂 Eventually, I have to let go of the control and let her fly.

    Many blessings,
    Rosann

  31. ArtsyNina says

    Go Lizzy! As I was reading I kept waiting for something to happen; a forgotten bag, a broken costume, a meltdown, just something. But it never came! What a perfect day- tissue in ears an all 😉

  33. productjunkiemama says

    Wooo Hoo! You have a future dancer on your hands! Get ready! I loved reading this post. The greatest gift to us is our kids. Thanks for following my blog! Returning the follow!

  35. Katie S. says

    You have quickly become one of my new favorite reads! You are such a storyteller, so vivid in your posts. I see you already have one (or a few I’m sure) but I gave you the Versatile Blogger button as well on my blog 🙂

  37. Jules says

    [Wandered by from BlogFrog]

    Oh, how beautiful. Thank you for sharing this wonderful moment. {sniffles} I feel as though I was there, in your heart, bursting with pride.

  38. Lexie Lane says

    I love your posts Kathy. You’re so descriptive. I always feel like I’m reading a story.

    It’s so funny the amount of feelings you can have for your child. The fact that you probably were more anxious than your daughter just shows how much you truly feel and love her!

    Aww… thank you for sharing this. It got my heart pounding for some reason!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Lexie

  40. Nan says

    Oh Kathy, thanks for sharing that! I think all of us can relate to dance recitals when we were kids and now going to them as moms. No girls so no recitals for me, but similar emotions….

    At the recent Memorial Day parade I feel like I went threough an emotional panic dropping off my 6yo in a sea of kids – not seeing his teacher, his friends were with a different group, etc… and then proud seeing him walk down the street waving the flag. Yes, they are growing up….

  41. mom in rome says

    such a cool post with an amazing writing!!
    I love it so fast and messy at first and then the real mama comes out full of pride!!
    loved it.
    thanks for sharing!! 🙂

  43. I'm a full-time mummy says

    Awww…. what a sweet post! I think as a mother, no matter how big or small things that your child accomplish, we can’t help but feel an immense feeling of pride! 🙂

    Thanks for following me btw, I’m here to return the favor! Have a lovely weekend! 🙂

    ~ Jenny

  44. Yetsky says

    I wish I have a daughter too that I can enroll to a dance class but I am proud that I have 4 sweet loving boys. I love the way how you describe that one special day. I can visualize it and feel your emotions. I’m pretty sure one day when your daughter gets to read this blog, she would appreciate all the things, big and small, that you did for her. Lucky kid for having a stage mother like you 🙂

  45. Larri @ Seams Inspired says

    I felt like I was right there with you, Kathy! I bet your beautiful girl was just gorgeous up there on that stage. Thanks for sharing your heart in this yet-again, excellent post. Happy Sunday! ☺

Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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