Each day I do the “morning tango.” First, I get my daughter on her bus, blow her a kiss, return to the front door, and then come back out again with my youngest. After he gets on his bus with a kiss and a smile, once again I go into the house only to come back out half an hour later to drive my oldest son to middle school.
Each time, I dash in and out of my door, I get to see a little piece of my childhood and one of my most treasured possessions… my quartz rock.
The rock sits among shrubs from our home’s previous owners and some flowers and perennials I planted. At about a foot long, the rock blends in with its surroundings and also stands out as something special and unique. Just like it did when it was in my mother’s garden. First in the house we lived in until I was 9 and then at the house my parents remain in today.
As a young girl, I loved sitting outside and daydreaming among the flowers my mother carefully tended. I would imagine the rock as a large diamond fit for a princess or a magical crystal that held the secrets of the world. It could be whatever I wanted it be.
Yet it was special and beautiful in its own right–catching sunlight and throwing off rainbows.
I was never clear how my mom got the unusual stone. As a child, I loved to think of all the mysterious places it could come from. Years later, I learned my mother’s uncle found it on his travels and gave it to my grandmother, who then gave it to my mom.
I can still remember my mom weeding and planting her little rock garden in the front of our first house. Neighbors would stop by and chat with her, telling her the latest news or gossip. Many people commented on the unusual quartz.
My mother was so young and beautiful. I loved to talk to her whenever she was gardening. My mom was always on the run with many obligations, PTA president, ambulance corps volunteer, church obligations, or helping a friend. I had a lot of competition for her time. I loved that for the time she was in her garden, she could be mine. I would sing to her or just chat about my day.
When we moved, the rock went with us. I would see it in the new garden and take comfort that at least something was the same. Once we moved, my mother started working in real estate and her time became even more precious, but she would still find time to putter in her garden and the rock, my sisters, and I would be there.
I wonder what my children will use as their touchstone to me as they grow older. Will the rock have some significance to them? Or will they remember me obsessively going over the rose bushes and getting mad at any aphids nervy enough to eat my beloved flowers?
Or the times they come with me to cut my flowers and then sit with me as I make a flower arrangement for one of their teachers, a friend, or just for them.
Will the sight of a book I read to them bring them back to a happy time in their life as they remember the silly voices I used to make the characters come alive? Or the songs I sang to them when I rocked them to sleep?
Will the sound of fingers on a keyboard remind them of me sitting in my room typing my blog? Will they remember sitting on my bed, watching TV, arguing with each other until I yell, “For the love of all that is holy, knock it off.”
What is the legacy I will leave my children? What memory will comfort them when I no longer can?
The years are rolling on, and my face is looking more like my mother’s. As much as I am my own person, I notice some of my mom’s mannerisms seeping into mine. Time is moving on, and we are getting older. I know one day I am going to look outside and the rock will be something that comforts me when my mom no longer can.
One day I will not be able to call my mom up and ask her to watch the kids, reserve a machine at the gym, or go for a cup of coffee. At that point, our infamous arguments and fights will no longer matter. Who got what, or who said what to who, will cease to matter. All I will have left is a crystal rock and the memory of the beautiful mother who I adored yet could not always understand.
Thankfully, I still have today to make a call.
you made me think of my own rituals with my children this morning…..and about the ritual of my childhood….nice post…thank you
Seams Inspired says
You’ll leave them the legacy of your love. Beautiful post! :o) Happy Sunday!
I absolutely love spending time with my mother. Your story is truly touching. xoxo, Amy
I agree with above commenter, you will leave them the legacy of your love. Another wonderful post. Thank you!
Thank you guys!! You really spoil me with you wonderful comments!! I hope I leave them the legacy of my love, I do adore them!!! Thanks again!! Much love to you all!
Alicia S. says
This is something I think about a lot. Precious childhood memories. I’m always hoping that I can provide my babies with plenty to look back on and be comforted by when they’re older, just like my parents have for me.
what a beautiful post.. I am in tears.. I loved this.. Your kids are sooo lucky to have you. I too often think what will stick with my kids. I still will only eat popcorn out of one bowl at my mom’s and I have tons of awesome memoriest of my family.. I love this post.. My fave so far!!
Thanks for sharing!!
Real Housewife of Oxford County
Your legacy will be an amazingly strong, loving, inspirational mother who has given them an amazing life filled with memories and love…even of something as simple as a rock.
I am sentimental like you too. I have things given by my mum which I treasure, and I also have my baby’s first dress which I keep. I look at this relics and I think of the blessings of having a wonderful mum, and I hope to be a blessing to my children.
what a lovely, true story.
I could totally picture the entire thing!!
Love this post!! 🙂
Aw, I love sparkly rocks too. And my mummy, who I still sometimes just wanna curl up with my head on her lap as she strokes my head and plays with my hair!
PS – sorry I haven’t commented in a while. I’ve lurked whilst eating lunch or rocking Isabelle!
Kathy, I loved that! Thank you so much for giving me something to think about. I hope my kids remember the good times and not some of those where I’m losing my mind! LOL
I also enjoyed thinking about the things that have significance to me of my happy childhood.
Lisa Ladrido says
What a beautiful post. I lost my mom in 1993 and I always will remember all those great memories, many of those I have shared with my family. Your children will never forget the wonderful memories you have created for them.~Lisa
visiting from VoiceBoks!
I am all a twitter about life
Lovely post:) Your children will no doubt each have something special to keep with them… and the time you have spent writing here is another you can give to them one day.
Thanks for sharing:)
I can’t thank you all enough for such lovely and thoughtful comments! It means so much to me! Much love to you all!!
Great post. I always worry I don’t do enough with my kids.
I love this post. Period. The end.
Jenn @ Coolest Family on the Block says
I love this post 🙂 My mom was just saying to me the other day that she wants to look for a statue that looks like one her grandmother used to have in her house. She says she always loved it as a little girl and she wants to have something like that at her house that my little girl will remember 🙂 I remember the statue too.
I’m not sure if I have something like that around here that my daughter will remember when she gets older, but I hope that she can look back and remember all of the quality time spent with her. I hope that’s something I never stop doing, but I know that sometimes life just gets in the way.
Again, great post…thanks so much for sharing 🙂
Susie B. Homemaker says
I feel like I do a mad dash every day with my kids also… and only 1 is in school right now. lol I don’t know what I’ll do when all 3 have to go. I do hope that’s not what my kids will remember though is me running around, always rushing them out the door.
My own mother passed on 15 yrs ago and I’m thankful I have a birthstone ring she gave me when I was in high school. It was after a volleyball tournament, which we had lost, and her giving it to me then meant a lot. I also still have a stuffed animal she gave me when I was young.
I think it’s wonderful you have something from your childhood that reminds you of your mom and still have time left to cherish her.
Grumpy Grateful Mom says
Beautiful…I am longing to have a rock now! What a cherished time you had with your mother.
I had never thought of my time with my children that way. They may also remember me cussing out those aphids, but I’m hoping it will be so much more. Those little memories add up. I hope to make some good ones this week. 🙂
Beck Gambill says
Wonderful, heartfelt post. It brought up memories of my childhood spent with my mother. And definitely made me pause and think about how my kids relate to me and question what memories I’m cultivating.
Becky Jane says
Mothers can never be replaced. How fortunate you are to be so close to your mother…I wonder what my kids touchstone will be with me.
Wao! Just amazing! Your words got me thinking… we take so much for granted…
Guess I´ll have to make the call too
Visiting from VB
Yeay!!! I´m finally able to follow!!! Now I wont be anonymous ; )
An Irish Italian Blessing says
Another beautiful story! I often wonder the same things. I wish I had as lovely as a relationship with my mother as you did with yours. It’s one of the things I have always promised I would have with my daughter because I never had it. I hope my daughter and I have as many beautiful memories to share as you do with your mom!
What a lovely post starting with something that definitely seems to have meanings for you and leaving your readers wondering, as well, what legacy/memories we will leave our own children with. Thank you for the reminder that I play such a role in what they remember (hopefully it’s good things and not the times I yell… )
Mommy LaDy Club says
Thank you Kathy for such a lovely post, and I just love reading all of your blog actually…such a treat!
lovely tribute to your mom … they are precious!
Visiting from Voiceboks. 🙂
Oh, that’s SO beautiful! Your mom is lucky to have you for a daughter. What a great way to express your love for her. 🙂
What an absolutely profound and meaningful story. I hope that my daughter feels the same way about me when she grows up. She is only 8 years old and while things are wonderful now, I worry about the future and the culture and how that may impact her attitudes, choices, and opinions. I just hope I can give her a heart and soul for G-d that will not let anything but love and generosity stand. Thanks for this post!
Samantha from vB (medtopicwriter)
Your kids will fondly remember their opera-singing mother at the dinner table contributing to the chaos 🙂
Really though, this post left me sad. I still have my mom and talk to her daily. I don’t even want to imagine life once she’s gone! Hopefully that is long, long ways away.
I actually left a comment yesterday. Today I’m here to say you have been chosen for the Versatile Blogger Award! Congrats! http://theresjustonemommy.com/?p=690
Wow. Just wow. How amazing that the rock has such meaning to you and your mother.
It’s strange what each child finds that reminds them of home. I’ve tried ramming into my kids hands things of value to me, and they’ve rejected those “things” only to place value on something that never occured to me.
I love this post. I never did and never will have a relationship with the devil woman who raised me, but I can make sure I make a memory for my children every single day.
Bless you, your mom, your kids and dishwasher forever 🙂
Sharon at voiceboks
Stephanie L. Parker says
Beautiful! I have often thought about things like this. I lost my mom suddenly when I was 19, so I know the need to remember the good things. Have you heard the song “Legacy” by Nichole Nordeman? It is along the same lines as your post. If you haven’t, check it out. I’m sure that you will enjoy it.
Thanks for visiting my blog through Voiceboks. So glad that I could give you a pick me up! I am following you, now. Have a great week!
Romina Garcia says
Yet another beautiful poignant post and you have me in tears.
I think about this very idea often…what will my children remember about me when I’m gone.
I’m going to try my best in the next couple of years to become a “fun” mum again rather than one who is swamped in housework.
You will leave your children a wonderful legacy. If you save each blog post for them to read when they get older, I guarantee they will cherish it with all their being. You are a wonderful mother x
Thank you all so much for such thoughtful and lovely comments! You guys really spoil me!! It is funny how objects can transform into pieces of ourselves and loved ones, isn’t it? Thanks again!! Much love to you all!
You are a very passionate writer. I thank you for sharing this with us. There are so many little things we take for granted and we just need to slow down and continue to make our memories and enjoy life. I am following you and I found you through voiceBoks. I hope you enjoy your weekend.
Lisa Ladrido says
That stone sounds so beautiful too, can just see it in a garden. Especially the prisms of colors that appeared when the bright sun hit the rock. Love your blog! Visiting from VoiceBoks!~Lisa
I am all a twitter about life
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sandbox gems says
This was beautiful! Just gave you the Versatile Blogger award. See my blog for details! Have a great weekend!
What a lovely post! It really makes me sit and think… I want the legacy I leave to be one love and kindness and understanding… now I need to do what it’ll take to make that happen. Sounds like you are well on that path already 🙂 Please know how appreciative I am of your comments and super sweet energy! Have a wonderful weekend!
This is so timely for me~~I’ve been planning a trip to Hot Springs AR later this summer to pick up my youngest from summer camp. I decided to ask my mother to fly up early with me for a few days of a mother/daughter vacay~~just the 2 of us. Nothing special planned~We’ll be staying in an Embassy Suites and as far as I can tell there isn’t much to do in Hot Springs but, nevertheless, I look forward to having quality time with her. And you’ll never imagine what I learned yesterday~~Hot Springs is the Quartz capital of the world (or something of that nature) I guess I’ll have to get one for myself and one for my mom! Thanks~
Cookie's Mom says
Beautiful post. You have me thinking about what it is that my son looks forward to – what times in the day he feels he has my undivided attention – what times with me he enjoys the most. Thank-you for helping me to pay closer attention to this.
Stacey Donaldson says
There is nothing greater than a Mother’s love. It is wonderful that you have something to jog the precious memories of childhood. Even more than that I think it’s great that you recognize how important every moment you spend with your Mom is. Your children will remember that for sure 🙂
Following from Voiceboks – your blog and your spirit are lovely 🙂
I wonder these things sometimes as well. I do hope to leave a legacy that’s as meaningful and wonderful as the one your mom is leaving you.
I would love to take a peek at that very special rock!
Spilled Milkshake says
Just beautiful! I lost my mother 5 years ago and miss her so much. It’s awesome that you have that stone to remind you every day of the importance of your mom. I’m so thankful you have today to make that call.
Visiting from voiceBoks!