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Passing Along My Dream

May 15, 2011 By Kathy Radigan

When I was seven years old, I saw the Disney version of Cinderella and the inner princess in me was born. I loved the sewing and singing mice, and the fairy godmother who turns rags into a beautiful gown and a pumpkin into a coach pulled by six white horses. I couldn’t resist Cinderella meeting her handsome prince and living happily ever after.

As I got older, I didn’t buy the message that a man had to “save” Cinderella. After all, why didn’t Cinderella just pack up the mice and high tail it out of her evil stepmother’s house. She could have started a dress shop with the mice. The fairy godmother could have helped her secure a micro loan. Then she could have met her Prince Charming and after a lovely courtship gotten married in a dress she designed herself. She did have those great sewing mice to help her.

But, that’s not the story I grew up with and the story that my inner princess loved.

So, how could I resist watching the royal wedding of Prince William and Princess Katherine a few weeks ago? Because my daughter Lizzy enjoys the whole princess package as much as I do, we had great fun enjoying it together. We even saw a little of it with my own mother when she came by early in the morning to see Lizzy dressed for school in her pink party dress and a little tiara in her hair.

There we were, three generations of women enjoying the pageantry of the royal wedding.

As much as my own mom had raised my sisters and I to be strong independent women, even she has always been a sucker when it comes to a wedding. I used to love her stories of how she planned her wedding, designed her bridal bouquet, and picked out her dress.

We couldn’t resist watching a Cinderella story come to life.

When I got engaged and was planning my own wedding, I obsessively read bridal magazines and pored over pictures of gorgeous designer gowns and stunning flowers. 

I had come across a story about a new designer and the beautiful bridal boutique she had recently opened at the Carlyle Hotel in New York City. The store sold her designs as well as a lot of the designers I saw in magazines. I wanted to buy my dress at Vera Wang.

My budget doesn’t always fit my desires, but I planned in my mind how I would be able to purchase the gown of my dreams on my down-to-earth budget. Since I love fairy tales, I decided that I was going to go to Vera Wang and find the perfect dress for me in my price range. Just for fun, I added to my daydream that I would get to meet the designer and they would like me so much that they would throw a few special things in for no charge.

I had a lot of free time at my job.

More for fun than anything else, my mother and I made an appointment to shop for my wedding dress at Vera Wang.

As we went through the store with the saleswoman, my eye went to the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. Not unlike Cinderella’s weddding dress in the movie.

It was a simple, white silk gown with the most delicate pearl bead work on the off-the-shoulder neckline. The saleswoman saw my face and got the dress. I figured I was in trouble and tried to decide just how important eating really was to me.

She zipped up the dress, and I completely fell in love. She smiled at me and said that this gown was very reasonably priced. And, without knowing my daydream, said if I didn’t mind coming back on the weekend, the designer was having a trunk sale at the shop. I could meet him and get an additional 10% taken off the dress. I was in shock. It was my fantasy come true.

I bought my dream dress. I met the designer. And, true to my fantasy, he added pearl buttons down the back of my dress and cut the dress to my exact measurements, all for no extra charge. I had my Cinderella moment complete with a perfect wedding to a man I truly adore.

Now, 18 years later, we have a daughter who for the last two weeks has been walking around with my shawl on her head and pretending to be Princess Kate.

Lizzy’s special needs affect her life so completely, and I’m not really sure what her future will bring. Meeting someone and getting married seems unlikely.

When feeling a little too filled with self pity, I expressed that thought to my own mom, she said it didn’t matter. Lizzy could wear a wonderful dress and have a great party anytime she wanted to.

A few days ago I decided to open the box that held my beautiful wedding dress so that my daughter could wear and enjoy playing in it now. She had the same look of joy that I had when I first laid my eyes on it. “Oh, mommy, it’s sooo beautiful. I’m a princess.”

Then she proceeded to add two hats, three crowns and six bracelets and made it her own. It was a magical moment for both of us.

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Filed Under: Cinderella, fairy tales, mothers and daughters, Special Needs, special needs children, Vera Wang, weddings

Comments

  1. thea says

    May 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    What a wonderful way to do something with your wedding dress for your daughter. I don’t know if that came out right. The way I see it, if she gets to wear it over and over again, it will be appreciated and worn more than most wedding dresses. and it will bring her so much joy, and hopefully you too!

  2. Lexie Lane says

    May 15, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    Awww…. this almost made me cry!!! I can’t express any comments now cause I have none!
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! I mean, I could just imagine how it must’ve really touched you! Aww….

    Lexie
    http://www.voiceboks.com

  3. Lindsay says

    May 15, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    What a beautiful post, and i’m sure she is a beautiful princess in her mom’s gown!

  4. notexpectingtoomuch says

    May 15, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Aww.

    Think possibilities for Lizzy. Think what might be instead of what might not be.

  5. Kim from The Sheep's Nest says

    May 15, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    Kathy, I am learning so many wonderful things about you that I never knew. You are writing and sharing a wonderful blog. Keep up the good work! love to you and family….

  6. Amy says

    May 15, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    I cannot wait to have a little girl 🙂
    I myself did not watch the wedding, because unfortunately for me I had to be up early for work. But I’m glad you got to enjoy the experience with your daughter!

    xoxo, Amy

  7. Kathy says

    May 15, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Thanks everyone for such great comments, the support I get here is just wonderful! You’ll never know what it means to me, thanks again!

  8. Lisa Ladrido says

    May 15, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    What a beautiful story. I would have loved to have been there to see your daughter’s eyes when you opened the box to show her the dress. So glad I found your blog!!

    Following you from VoiceBoks!~Lisa
    I am all a twitter about life

  9. Five Foot Mama says

    May 15, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    Your second paragraph just cracked me up! I love the picture of Cinderella the business woman! How funny… Nice post!

  10. Brandii Nicole says

    May 15, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    This is a beautiful story!
    Best wishes to you and your family!

    – Brandii
    http://babyshopaholics.com

  11. Mel~ @ Lifestwistedstitches.com says

    May 15, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    First, SHUT! UP! You got the perfect fairy tail dress, Vera Wang! Oh, I am sooooo jealous! But, complete with the dream come true thing…:) *swoon*
    lol

    I can just picture your sweet girl waltzing around the house in white, tiaras, and satin while dreaming of whatever her heart desires. What a beautiful picture you painted. I’m so happy for you both/all to have had those moments of being women and girls at the same time! Your relationship with your Mom seems priceless in your process with your daughter too. ((((hugs))))

    Oh, speaking of Cinderella (and her typically sparkling BLUE ball gown), would you like to link this post to my Memories Meme this week? The theme is, “I remember Blue…”. Although you have not mentioned the color, the implied visual is there, or you could edit to add it if you like, it’s cool if it’s subtle. I would be honored if you would!
    Here is the link: http://www.lifestwistedstitches.com/2011/05/this-weeks-monday-memory-meme-prompt.html

    Love Ya!

  12. Alyce @ Blossom Heart says

    May 15, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    That’s beautiful 🙂 I tossed up the idea of selling my wedding dress after the wedding to recoup some costs (not that it cost that much) and plus the fact that I’d never wear it again. Ben said it was completely up to me. My decision? To keep it so I could show my potential future daughters one day, like mum did for me and my sister. And now I have Isabelle I can show it to! *yippee!!*
    In fact, my sister may even wear mum’s dress, with a few alterations as it looks so good on her!

  13. Romina Garcia says

    May 15, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    Your posts always make me cry!!
    You have such a beautiful heart that resonates in your words
    Lizzy is a very very lucky girl to have you in her life, and vice versa.
    Much love to you all.
    Who say’s Prince Charming can’t be in the form of a mother’s love anyways x

  14. Romina Garcia says

    May 15, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    ps – I would love love love for you to guest post for me when I go off on maternity leave.
    This very post would be perfect x

  15. Grumpy Grateful Mom says

    May 15, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    I LOVED this post! It brought tears to my eyes. You are such a great mama. I can just imagine the excitement your daughter had when you gave her the dress. I hope you took a bunch of photos of her all dressed up, even if your don’t share it with all of us. 🙂

  16. teachermum says

    May 16, 2011 at 5:38 am

    You have written a very special post. Well done and thank you for sharing your thoughts. You certainly succeeded in making us feel with you. Consider yourself lucky for watching that royal wedding with two “ladies.” I was stuck watching it with the three “men” in my house and I was ready to evict all three of them. I don’t think they get our princess fantasy – that one that we never quite shake off event though we become independent, blogging mums.

  17. Kathy says

    May 16, 2011 at 6:55 am

    Thank you all so much for the great comments! If I wasn’t such a camera challanged person I would have pictures of Miss Lizzy in all her wedding glory, it really is a trip and I can’t do it justice with only words! If I ever figure this whole tech/camera stuff out I will certaninly bore you with a picture or two! Thank you all again, it’s so great to explore my journey thorough motherhood through my blog and to get those feeling validated with your comments and support! Much thaks and much love!

    Kathy

  18. mominrome says

    May 16, 2011 at 8:29 am

    I bet it was!!
    It must be amazing to be able to share such a thing with your daughter!!

    I can’t wait to do it too!! 🙂

  19. Hot Mama says

    May 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Such a great story to share. I can only imagine how much it meant to your daughter to play dress up in your wedding dress. I too was sucked into the Royal Wedding I am a sucker for Royalty and Weddings

  20. Nan says

    May 16, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Kathy, what a beautiful story! Your daughter will cherish these princess moments! fwiw, I too, thought Cinderella could have been a bit more resourceful, but that was “those’ times, and we’re in a better time for women now (sort of). Thanks for sharing!

  21. Mom of 12 says

    May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am

    How generous you are! It almost makes me wish I hadn’t rented my wedding dress. But the one I spent hours on for my eldest daughter became a Halloween costume one year, complete with blood and all…I’m glad yours is for Cinderella.
    Sandy

  22. Stephanie says

    May 16, 2011 at 11:46 am

    This is such a sweet story. Can’t wait for my little girl to prance around in my wedding dress. I would love to see a photo! 🙂

    -Stephanie

  23. An Irish Italian Blessing says

    May 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Oh my goodness, what a beautiful story. You are so amazing to let your daughter enjoy being princess for a day in your beloved dress. I LOVE this story and love it even more that it’s true and there are amazing, incredible parents like you making their daughters dreams come true!

  24. Rachel Joy says

    May 16, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    What a wonderful story. Never underestimate the power of love…I truly believe we can all have our happily ever afters, even your daughter. =)

  25. WhisperingWriter says

    May 16, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Beautiful story. My daughter thinks she’s a princess. She didn’t care for the royal wedding though. She said it was boring and called Prince William and elephant, for some reason.

    She does love her Disney Princess movies though.

  26. TanyasTreasureTrove says

    May 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Hi! returning the follow!:0)

  27. Carmen says

    May 16, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    What a wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing. I wish I had a reason to wear my dress again. I loved every second I was in that thing!

    Kathy, I want to thank you for your continued support of my my blog and my pregnancy! It really means so much to me.

  28. Sarah says

    May 16, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    What a great post! What amazing memories for both you and your daughter! You’re a great mommy!!

  29. Anonymous says

    May 17, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I’m sure the new Duke & Duchess of Cambridge would be thrilled to know how their recent wedding has reached your daughter in such a powerful way, and that it was the catalyst for such a special time for the two of you as you shared your own wedding dress with her. HRH Prince William has followed his mother, Diana Princess of Wales, in being a very sharing and compassionate person, so it was heartwarming to read your post about how events here in England have brought joy to your Lizzy across the Atlantic as well.
    With best wishes to all your family,
    Ruth Riddle, UK

  30. Becky Jane says

    May 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Kathy, this post is so precious. What a wonderful mother you are. She will always be your little princess!
    New Follower from vB
    Thanks, Becky Jane
    http://RiseAboveYourLimits.blogspot.com/

  31. S. Greiner says

    May 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Hi! Thanks for stopping by and becoming a follower of Always Just a Mom! I’ve returned your follow and I love your blog

    Have a great week and I look forward to learning more about you!

  32. Jane@flightplatformliving says

    May 17, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    oooo first you had me laughing at…She could have started a dress shop with the mice. The fairy godmother could have helped her secure a micro loan…and then you had me in tears! that was such a beautiful post, what a great mummy you are giving over your precious dream come true dress to create a magic moment. i love love love love it! xxxxx

  33. Susie B. Homemaker says

    May 17, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    As usual, you made me tear up at the end of your post. 😉 How beautiful that you had your own Cinderella wish come true. And whether your daughter does or doesn’t get to wear a wedding dress to her own wedding, she had a special moment with her mom. And that’s really all we can hope for in life is to have a few special moments with the people we love amidst life’s trials and tribulations. Thanks again for another good read. 🙂

  34. Rosann says

    May 17, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    Such a precious moment…and a great post! You sound like a great and fun mom! 🙂

    Many blessings,
    Rosann
    http://www.christiansupermom.com/

  35. Kirsty says

    May 17, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    Aww I love that one too! Definitely one of the best movies ever made! Disney is great.

  36. Ramona says

    May 18, 2011 at 8:47 am

    oh i love this post! and you!!! and my dishwasher is possessed too!!! currently not working …again. new follower! ramona from bubbiandboo.blogspot.com

  37. Rebecca Bany says

    May 18, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Awwww sweet 🙂

    http://www.rebeccabany.com
    http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/becbany

  38. Melanie says

    May 18, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    I loved the story! It was so magical and touching all at the same time! I am also a huge Disney fan and still feel like my life is a dream. I love to hear about fairytale lives like yours. Even though some days we have our “Cinderella!!!! Get to work!!” days, in the end, we are still living happily ever after.

    Thank you so much reading on commenting on my daughters blog. It means a lot to me!

  39. Christin says

    May 19, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Aww, what a sweet story! I hope you have a wonderful week! Now following via voiceBoks!
    Christin

  40. nateandkatesmom says

    May 19, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    So sweet! A couple of years ago, I took out my wedding dress and had a friend do a photo session with my daughter playing dress up in my gown. She was loving every minute of it and I have some precious photos of my little princess! Who knows, maybe she will want to where it someday when it is her turn to walk down the isle. She is 7 now and sadly, a couple of months ago, while cleaning out her room, she decided she was too old for all the princess dresses that she used to wear daily around the house. It was like a knife through my heart. I tucked them away in a bag for now because I’m not ready to part with them and I’m hoping one day she will be in the mood to be Cinderella again….even if the dress is up to her knees! Enjoy it while it last!
    Thanks for following me…now I’m following you too!

  41. SortaSuperMom says

    May 19, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I’m glad you both had that moment. Its descriptions like that that make me long for a girl. I love my boys, but getting to play dress up (unless its super heroes) won’t ever happen for me.
    I suppose I could always play dress up by myself, but my hunny might look at me a bit oddly.
    I’m glad I could make you laugh with my post.
    Stop on by anytime.
    ~SortaSuperMom
    http://confessionsfromboystown.blogspot.com/

  42. Babymama says

    May 20, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    LOVE this post. And the one before that…and the one before that.

    Thanks for stopping by earlier. 🙂

    xo
    babymama
    avagracescloset

  43. Romina Garcia says

    May 21, 2011 at 2:52 am

    I just re read this post and it brought me to tears…AGAIN.
    This is absolutely the one I would love to use on my blog(if that’s ok).

  44. Rachel Joy says

    May 21, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Hi Again…Just wanted to give you something. http://bit.ly/StylishBloggerAward <~~you deserve it!

  45. Rachael says

    May 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    What a beautiful fairy tale come true. Your daughter twirling in your Vera Wang gown. Priceless! 🙂

  46. ArtsyNina says

    May 21, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Wow. The story about you getting the dress and meeting the designer is a perfect example of the power of positive thoughts! And the part about sharing it with Lizzy now, well that just melts my heart.

  47. Kathy says

    May 22, 2011 at 4:00 am

    Thank you for all the great comments. This is such a strange and wonderful journey that Lizzy and I are on and it has been so healing to share our story, and for our story to be welcomed by you all. Thanks doesn’t seem enough, but thanks!

  48. Steph says

    May 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

    That is a beautiful story and I applaud you fr sharing it with us. What a journey it is going to be for you. Lizzy is very lucky you are her mommy. I look forward to getting to know you better through your blog posts. welcome to vBoks.

  49. Joyce Lansky says

    May 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    This is a wonderful story. A dress is no good if it never comes out of the box.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and following. I’m now following you too.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

  50. Seams Inspired says

    May 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    I’m sniffing and drying my eyes as I type. Kathy, this is a beautiful post. Your writing is so descriptive, I felt as though I was in the room with you not only in the bridal salon, but also with Lizzy crowns, tiaras, bangles, and all. :o) Gosh I’ve missed your posts! Happy Sunday, sweet bloggy friend! :o)

  51. Sandra says

    May 22, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    I’m jealous! I wish I hadn’t gotten rid of my dresss ’cause I’d be the one accessorizing it now with a crown…oh, and maybe some fairy wings!!!! Yes!

  52. Sandra's Fiberworks says

    May 22, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    great blog! Found you by blogfrog, one of the discussions where you leave your blog link and follow the person before you — you’re it! As for dishwashers, I don’t know (not yet) but I can tell you about washing machines; look up my “washing machine woes” blog…hopefully you’ll get a laugh!

  53. Anne U says

    May 22, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    That was a great moment. Awesome how sometimes our dreams come true.

  54. andreabrov says

    May 23, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Kathy, I am still crying!!! What a beautiful post!!! I always loved the part in Cinderella with the Mice sewing and singing! You were a beautiful Bride on your special day! Your gown so beautiful! I am glad Lizzy gets to be in it as she is trully a princess! I am so proud of you as you share these special moments about your life with the world

  55. ThatsAWrapMom says

    May 25, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    Brought ears to my eyes, yep that is what this post did! Thank you for sharing. And from one Cinderella lover to another (My wedding was based on it and I met here on my wedding day in my dress!!) we need to continue to have the Cinderella moments and keep dreaming and fantasizing. What a special moment you have shared with your daughter. And who knows one day her prince will come it just may be the not so obvious kind, a friend, a father, a cousin, a mentor, a teacher or even a prince!

  56. Michael Ann says

    September 25, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    This post just showed up in my inbox! Is that a mistake? It’s dated May 15. Well, I’m sure glad it did. I thought it was wonderful and heartwarming and it gave ME hope. We women really can do anything we want, the way we want. You don’t have to have a wedding to dress up like a princess! I love that you took our your dress and let you daughter wear it and add her own accessories to make it hers. This was really, really beautiful.

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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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