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I Feel Nellie’s Pain

October 5, 2014 By Kathy Radigan

I Feel Nellie's Pain

Whenever I want to recapture a bit of my youth, all I need to do is get in the back seat of my parents’ car, and I’m instantly transformed to girl of about 15 instead of a married mother of three.

I should really do some research to find out if this effect is only on me or if it would work on anyone. Perhaps my parents’ power transcends their own offspring. I could be looking at a $1 billion idea. Perhaps I should look into a patent.

When will I ever learn? It seemed like such a great idea to take them up on their offer to drive with them to my cousin Donna’s fiftieth birthday party at Belmont Park.

Joe stayed home with the kids, which included taking Peter, our nine-year-old, to a schoolmate’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. I thought I was getting the better end of the deal until I had to fend for myself during the hour-long drive with mom and dad.

First my mother had to set up Nellie, her pet name for my parents’ GPS.

Yes. Not only does it have a name, but my mother talks to “her” and about “her” as if “she” was a real person. This went on throughout the hour-long ride.

My mom let me know she was a bit mad at Nellie because “she” had gotten her lost the other day.

The GPS had my mother going in circles for almost half an hour while she was trying to get to a function for her garden club.

“Mom. How did it mess you up that badly? Is it working properly?

“Well, I MIGHT have taken a right turn when “she” said take a left, but then “she” just kept confusing me.”

I glanced at my dad who was driving, and he shot me back a look that said, please don’t take this any further.

“Warren why are you going right? Nellie said to go left. Are you taking Jericho all the way there? Shouldn’t you take the expressway? Nellie says to take the expressway.”

“Andrea, I know what I’m doing.”

“Well now Nellie is going to have to reset herself.”

“Recalculating,” says the computer generated voice.

“Mom you do know that even though it talks, It’s not real?” I’m trying not to laugh, but I’m not succeeding.

“Yes. Kathy I know she is not real. But she has been with us for almost nine years. And, well, to me she is real. Aren’t you Nellie?”

We were only 10 minutes in, and I was regretting my decision to bail out on Chuck E Cheese. I hope Donna knows how much I love her.

My parents go back and forth throughout the whole ride. My mother corrects my father, and my father pretends not to listen to her.

Years of childhood memories start flooding back to me. Some good, some less than stellar. I seriously am in awe of the fact that the two of them have managed to stay married for 50 years.

I can’t help wondering how my own kids will look back on the family rides Joe and I are in charge of. Me complaining that he is trying to bake me and him accusing me of trying to turn them all into icicles because I need to have the air on full blast even when it’s freezing outside.

I also have a tendency to claim that he’s trying to kill us whenever he changes lanes. It’s the same complaint my mother makes to my father.

Will one of my kids write an essay about me and Joe one day? I don’t doubt it.

We arrive at the party, and my parents have a few more exchanges that make me grateful when I see my sisters and can escape. We laugh over my adventures in the car just like we did when we were girls.

Then before I know it the party is over, and it’s time to say our farewells. Of course my mother asks me if I’ve said goodbye to everyone, not unlike she did when I was nine.

It’s then when I realize that no matter how old I am, or what I may accomplish in my life, I will always be their child.

This can be extremely maddening at times. Yet, I can’t quite help thinking how profoundly lucky I am that I still have them around to drive me crazy.

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: 50th birthdays, adult children, Bellmont Park, family, family parties, GPS. family drives, marriage

Comments

  1. Robin says

    October 5, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Oh that’s funny! My mom drives me crazy too and I long ago learned to never ride with her. But you’re right… I’m so glad I still have her!

    Having my own children has helped me understand my own mother better abs appreciate her more. 🙂 But she still drives me batty sometimes. So I’m also grateful I have sisters who understand!
    Robin recently posted…The Stairs I Fell DownMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 6, 2014 at 7:22 am

      Thanks Robin! Yes, it is a luxury to be able to complain about my parents driving me batty, and I do my best to remember that when they are, driving me batty! Lol! And, yes, sisters do help! 🙂

  2. Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life says

    October 5, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    Your story cracked me up. My mom lives on the other side of the country so I don’t drive with her often but your story brought me back to when I was a teenager. We had one of those circle driveways, and my mom was pulling forward with my dad’s truck right in front of us. I made a comment to her that she was about to hit the other vehicle, which she wasn’t paying attention to at all, she told me to be quiet, and BAM, right into the truck. It was pretty funny to me, although she wasn’t amused.
    Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life recently posted…#GoodNeighbor Spotlight: A Local Business Owner that goes the Extra MileMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 6, 2014 at 7:24 am

      Michelle that is a great story!! I’m shocked your mother was not amused! Lol! It’s funny because my 9 year old is such a backseat driver and I know it must be karma for making fun of my mother’s driving all these years! Thanks so much for coming on by! xoxo

  3. Michelle says

    October 6, 2014 at 6:32 am

    We could take trips together! I have the ac on year round as well…

    And kudos to you for surviving the trip. No way I could survive a trip with my parents. I mean, maybe to the grocery and back, but that’s pushing it.
    Michelle recently posted…Bad Bosses, Ebay And When Weekend Guests Come EarlyMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 6, 2014 at 7:32 am

      Michelle it’s always great to know another AC girl!! Lol! Yes, driving with parents is a challenge, but one I’m glad we both can still complain about! Lol! xox

  4. Lisa Weinstein says

    October 6, 2014 at 6:49 am

    Kathy, we have named our GPS Giselle! Also, I love how you think Joe tries to kill you when you change lanes. I think the same about Bob, I am convinced killing us is his motto! In fact, on our drive to Baltimore yesterday to see my step-daughter it got so bad that Bob made me sit in the back seat on the way home…and guess what, I didn’t mind!! Nice story about your parents. You are right, we will always be their kids. My dad still corrects my grammar. Ug! xoxo Lisa

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 6, 2014 at 7:33 am

      Lisa you had my laughing with your comments today! I could totally see Joe banishing me to the backseat!! Lol! Thanks so much for your support dear friend! xoxo

  5. Suzanne Fluhr says

    October 6, 2014 at 7:19 am

    My father had no sense of direction which did not keep him from ignoring written directions and maps. (This was before GPS). I thought getting lost was part of driving. I still always build in time for getting lost and Google maps has saved me more than once.
    Suzanne Fluhr recently posted…Ode to a Brigantine, New Jersey SummerMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 6, 2014 at 7:34 am

      Suzanne I have not sense of direction so I totally get my moms need to use her GPS but the conversations she has with it our hysterical!! Lol! Thanks so much for dropping by! xo

  6. Ice Scream Mama says

    October 6, 2014 at 7:49 am

    wonderful! nothing like a trip in the backseat with our parents that make us long for headphones and a hasty exit. so funny:)
    Ice Scream Mama recently posted…Pennies from Heaven, Diamonds from GrandmaMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Headphones? I didn’t even think of that, I could have pretended to my teen!! Lol! xoxo

  7. The Shitastrophy says

    October 6, 2014 at 7:52 am

    You are a brave soul. I can not drive with my parents, I would rather walk then be trapped in the back seat.

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Alyson the entertainment factor must be considered, also I can not stand to drive on the expressway! Lol! xo

  8. Karen Hug says

    October 6, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Great post Kathy! My 82 year old Mother IS the GPS of the car, she’s always telling me to get into the other lane, turn here, turn there, we joke about how bossy she is, but I am so lucky to have her around. Thanks!

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:18 pm

      Karen that would drive me nuts. I hate driving my mother, she is impossible as a back seat driver!! I guess she is taking lessons from Nellie! Lol! But you are right, we are so, so blessed to have them with us driving us nuts!!!! xoxo

  9. Sharon Greenthal says

    October 6, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Yes you’re so lucky to have them around! I would love to be driving with my father, listening to him complain about all the other drivers on the road. Very sweet post.
    Sharon Greenthal recently posted…Why Parents Should Save for CollegeMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      Thank you so much Sharon. You are so right, I am so, so lucky to have them both around!!! And I know one day I will long for one more crazy ride in the car with them.

  10. Joy says

    October 6, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I loved this, Kathy!…especially since I’ve been feeling very lucky too about my parents being still around and in relatively good health. As you know, my grandma just died, and it has really gotten me reflective again about life and making the most out of the time we have with our loved ones. It’s especially difficult for me as I’m so far away from them so consider yourself very fortunate (as I know you know). Our parents may drive us crazy and we probably find it difficult to be with them all the time as we assert our own adulthood. But let’s face it. The love will always be there and we will always be their ‘babies’. *hugs*
    Joy recently posted…Grief from 8,000 Miles AwayMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:15 pm

      You are so right Joy and I really had to think about the fact that it is a gift to have them around to drive me nuts!!! xoxo Much love my dear friend!

  11. Haralee says

    October 6, 2014 at 10:40 am

    My Mother had trouble with right and left. My father had a terrible sense of direction. Together they were lost often, as well as individually . I think if they had a GPS they would name it too and be mad and talk to it too!

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      Haralee I must admit that I have no sense of direction either and can not tell my right from my left so I could use a GPS myself, just to walk around the block!! Lol! It is so funny the way my mother treats it, it really is!! Lol! xoxo

  12. KymberlyFunFit says

    October 6, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Start telling Nellie stories, asking her for advice, filling her in on your mom’s secrets. I bet your dad will laugh!
    KymberlyFunFit recently posted…4 Health and Fitness Strategies for Losing and WinningMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      LOL Kymberly!!!

  13. Estelle says

    October 6, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Love this, Kathy. We have a slightly German sounding “woman’s” voice in our new car, and we rather miss the much warmer tone of our former GPS system. I need to hear more about Nellie though:)
    Estelle recently posted…Monday Morning Content FindsMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Estelle that is funny that your GPS has a foreign accent, I’m guessing it’s a foreign car!! Lol! I will have to think about telling more Nellie stories of course then I have to drive in the car with them so I’m going to have to think about that one! Lol! xoxo

  14. Linda Roy says

    October 6, 2014 at 11:26 am

    That’s hilarious! Does you mother have Siri? They could be fast friends!
    Linda Roy recently posted…13 Things I Could Do With What George Clooney Spent on His WeddingMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      Thanks Linda! She does have Siri but I don’t know if she really knows all that she can do and I think we should keep it that way!! Lol! xo

  15. Claudia Schmidt says

    October 6, 2014 at 11:40 am

    Oh, this is too funny! I know people who name their GPS and argue with it like that. My own parents were never technologically up on things quite enough to use one, but there were lots of other things like it, so I’m cracking up. I sure hope I’m not so weird about technology as I get older!
    Claudia Schmidt recently posted…The Faces of Breast CancerMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:09 pm

      Claudia I hope I’m not talking to my GPS when I’m in my 70’s, I really, really do!! Lol! xo

  16. nancy@skinnykitchen.com says

    October 6, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    This is so funny and I can totally relate. Sitting in the back seat of my parents car brings me right back to my childhood too!
    nancy@skinnykitchen.com recently posted…Skinny Chicken, Vegetable and Stuffing CasseroleMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:08 pm

      It really is amazing isn’t it? Lol! xxo

  17. Donna says

    October 6, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    You are profoundly lucky to have them around. And your children will do exactly the same thing you are doing. But they will be doing it together. Which is so huge….my children have a lot of fun with us….but they are together, planning siblings trips and staying in touch on the phone. We are family…and when one of gets older and maybe we are a little funny around the edges, we do just what you did, endure the trip and then reflect on the gratitude. Your parents are lucky too

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:07 pm

      Thank you so much Donna!

  18. Janine Huldie says

    October 6, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Kathy, you made me smile reading this, because about a year ago I had to drive with my parents somewhere just the three of us and you nailed, I was seriously transported to being about 15 again and recalling how much I used to cringe being in the backseat with them making me crazy for all it was worth. No matter how much I love them, being in that close of quarters with them for an hour can make a sane person truly insane and wish to be anywhere but. And by the way, I don’t doubt my kids writing about me one day either 😉
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Casetify Your iPhone 6 Now (Review + Giveaway)My Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:07 pm

      It is amazing isn’t it Janine how quickly we can go back to 15 by just driving with our parents in the backseat!! Lol! xoox

  19. Rena McDaniel says

    October 6, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    This is so funny Kathy! I can even picture it. It had to have been hysterical. Then I got to thinking about my daughter because we spend alot time together (none of us know anyone here except my brother’s family) It’s nice because we have become so close anyway totally off topic. Hubby and I bicker constantly while we’re in the car. When we get in a lot of traffic now I panic, it’s gotten so bad with that and some other physical problems I haven’t driven since 2010 and frankly he scares the hell out of me. I ask him when I get in the car howmany times he’s going to try to kill me. And we’ve driven hundreds of thousands miles together. We never fight about anything else,. I think it just becomes a habit. Mom and dad never fought but my mom drove him most of the time.
    Rena McDaniel recently posted…ALZHEIMER’S IN A NUTSHELLMy Profile

    • Kathy Radigan says

      October 7, 2014 at 6:04 pm

      Rena you had me laughing about you and your husband. I know my kids are going to make fun of us one day!!! xoxo

  20. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

    October 7, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    This is soooo funny!!! Hey, at least your mom knows what a GPS is. I don’t think my mother does…..
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Got SPAM?My Profile

  21. The Dose of Reality says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:47 am

    Oh, this really made me smile. My parents just left after being at my house for a month. It is SO FUNNY that I will always be their little girl, no matter what my age. (and sometimes I slip into bratty teen mode and I can’t even help myself!!) It REALLY made me laugh because my dad just got a GPS and is in LOVE with it. He hasn’t named it (yet) but he insisted on putting in the address of EVERYWHERE he’d go…even just down the street to the grocery (and he knew exactly where it was). We are living parallel lives! –Lisa

  22. Sarah says

    October 8, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    That’s so funny! It certainly made me smile. 🙂
    Sarah recently posted…The DressMy Profile

  23. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms says

    October 15, 2014 at 7:21 am

    I DO have a tendency to talk back to Garmin when I defy him. (I guess mine already came with a name, like a Cabbage Patch Kid.) 😉 Ellen
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted…10 Ways Fall Will Foil YouMy Profile

Trackbacks

  1. Making A Summer Bucket List for Mom says:
    June 26, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    […] After 30 minutes of said “bonding,” pull the car over and get everyone’s electronic devices from the trunk and beg them to play a game, any game. Take two Extra Strength Excedrin, and remember there was a reason your parents always looked so tired after those “great” car trips of your youth. […]

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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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