Welcome to the fourth installment of, Getting Possessed with Kathy and the Dishwasher. Every other Thursday I explore the concept of possession with one of the many amazing women I have had the pleasure to meet in my almost three years of blogging. I love sharing these very talented writers with you, and the Dishwasher enjoys learning about other demonic appliances.
I am so excited to introduce you to my fourth victim, Alyson, of the very funny, meant-for-grownups-who-can-appreciate-a-four-letter-word-every-now-and-then, blog, The Shitastrophy.
I had the fun of meeting Alyson a few months ago in an online writers group. I was instantly drawn to her quick humor and her ability to write about the ups and downs of motherhood in a no nonsense style that never fails to make me laugh and think. She is also one of the most supportive bloggers I have had the pleasure to get to know and one lady I truly hope to meet in person one day.
Though she now lives in the Midwest with her husband and two kids, Alyson is originally from New Jersey. Managing to keep her cynical sarcastic Jersey attitude while making a conscious effort to not curse in a conversation are two talents she is quite proud of.
She started her site only six months ago and is grateful to her children for always providing ample material to write about. How does her husband feel about her new venture? Alyson says he lives in fear that everything he does or says will be highlighted in her next post, Facebook update, or Tweet.
Her memoir, The Shitastrophy: A Collection of Ridiculous Events, is now complete and she is in the process of looking for an agent.
Alyson, the Dishwasher and I have to know, what is the story behind the hysterical name of your site:
This is kinda gross, but here you go: A friend and I went out for a night and left our hubs’ in charge of the kids. One of the 4 (I got 2 and she has 2) had a major bathroom issue (I am trying to be nice here). Upon her return home the whole house smelled of poop. Both husbands were sitting on the couch, no more than 10 feet from the bathroom, and didn’t smell anything. Nothing. Nada.
She went into her bathroom and came out gagging. There was poop everywhere – floor, toilet, counter, rug. Everywhere. Someone imploded in the bathroom, attempted to clean himself or herself up and failed miserably. Neither father was aware of the issue, none of the 4 children have claimed responsibility.
She called me and we were hysterical laughing over the Shitastrophy that had happened. Upon reflection I realized my life has had a lot of these moments. And so the name was born.
Well I knew you were perfect for this series!!
Alyson as you know I give the Dishwasher first crack at the questions and this week the crazed appliance would like to know, if you were a household appliance what would it be?
Well since my theory of appliances is that they should make my life easier, it would totally have to be something that would scrub my tile and grout in my house. All tile – bathroom, shower, floors, kitchen etc. And maybe toilets too – porcelain is close enough to tile. That would be awesome.
If it were possible, would you upgrade yourself to a shiner, state-of-the-art model?
Hell Yes I would! I would be shiny and blinged out. You would be looking at me like, “Gurl look at you! You be lookin sweet!!”
And of course, we have to know, have you ever had a possessed appliance?
Can I have 2 appliances that are possessed? I am an overachiever.
Of course, the more the merrier!
My kitchen stove decided to go on lock down one time while it was on. Seriously the thing totally locked shut and turned my potatoes into ash! I couldn’t turn it off or open it (eventually I just unplugged it). I never used that stove again. I totally freaked out – the house could have burned down!! Kinda freaked out. It’s possible I over reacted, hard to say.
Also crock-pots do not seem to like me. I have had a few that no matter what the recipe says – cook this for 6 hours – that in 4 hours the food is D.O.N.E. And no it is not on high – it just hates me.
Thank you so much! Now that the Dishwasher is more than appeased I would like to know what is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
This too shall pass. I have had multiple moments where I thought I was going to lose my mind (this normally happens with my kids). I remind myself that this is just that, a moment, I need deep breaths. Sometimes it just passes to a big storm, which stinks, but other times I can actually see the end is near. Deep breaths.
What does being possessed mean to you?
Possessed is like being completely encompassed by something. There were many years that I was possessed with all things related to my son. He is an ‘active’ child that has attended multiple schools in our search to find an environment that best fit his learning style and abilities. I have come up for air now, and as a result my blog has been born. But for a while he was my main focus. We are in a good spot today, and so now I have the ability to redirect that energy to something else.
What possesses you right now?
My writing possesses me. I spent the year writing my manuscript. It is now complete and in the process of being edited. My blog has a lot of my attention now too.
It’s nice, doing something for myself after so many years of being everyone else’s person. I am still there for my kids and husband, but now I am able to step back and encourage my children to do things for themselves. It’s awesome to witness.
Is this something that has possessed you for under a year or over a year?
It has been a major focus for about a year now. But the dream to write has been there for over 25 years. I finally let it out of the bottle I had it shut in. A lot of my stress is now manageable since I began expressing myself. Prior to the daily writing I was on the edge, about to explode from life’s pressures. Now it is so much better, I am better, and my family is better for not having to tiptoe around me.
Many, many thanks to Alyson for getting possessed with the Dishwasher and me today! You can follow her on Facebook, ,Twitter, and Pinterest and of course don’t miss her over at The Shitastrophy!
If you want more possession check out these amazing past victims of the Dishwasher:
Victim 1 Norrine Dworkin McDaniel
Victim 2 Vikki Claflin
Victim 3 Kristi Campbell