My dishwasher's possessed

one mom's attempt to find humor in the chaos

Giving Santa a Second Chance

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Halloween hasn’t come and gone, but I’m already thinking that I should send my letter to Santa Claus in a little early this year.

I’m counting on your discretion, because truth be told, I sent the same list last year and didn’t get any of these presents under my tree. The eternal optimist in me is thinking Santa just didn’t get my list in time to deliver the real goods.

That’s why I’m giving the old man one more chance.

I got the idea for my own letter to Santa last year when my kids were working on their lists. Now it’s been more than a few decades since I wrote a letter to Santa. But, since I was a young girl in the 70’s, the technology Santa had to choose from was pretty antiquated.

Back in the dark ages of 1972, it was a big deal that my doll house had battery-powered lights, or that all I had to do was pull a string to get Barbie to say how pretty she was.

When you think of the technology that’s at our fingertips today, Santa could really come through with a few items that would not only be helpful to me, but to mothers everywhere.

Plus there is always the chance that he would like to make amends for that Chatty Kathy doll I never got.

So without further ado, here is my letter to Santa (only slightly amended from last year).

Dear Santa:

I’ve been a very good mommy this year. Besides the usual cooking and cleaning that I do everyday (Please don’t laugh Santa, I do all those things, I just don’t do them very well), I have taken the kids to the orthodontist, the doctor, driven to music lessons, dance lessons, birthday parties, chorus practice, various clubs, and dances.

I also went to two birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese this year, this in itself should put me on the top of the “Nice” list.

I know you are very busy, and I’m not expecting miracles, but if you get a chance and can send me a few of these items I would really appreciate it:

I would like a GPS to find the body I had before I had my three children. I have looked for it at various weight-loss programs, gyms and a host of workout DVDs, but I can’t find it anywhere. I’m getting desperate. HELP!

I would like an App that allows my children to remember what I told them five minutes ago. I realize my mother asked for something similar when I was a kid, but technology has come so far since then that I’m thinking this really should be do-able in 2011.

Extra memory would be a great gift and so helpful for my parenting. My own memory card is so used and old that I can no longer remember my own kids’ names. I call them by various terms of endearment and, of course, their siblings’ names. Now that my youngest is insisting that I only call him by his full name, I’m running out of options.

I could really use an upgrade on my patience. I have a 12-year-old who will soon be 13… need I say more.

A “pause” button would be fantastic! My children are growing up so fast. Yesterday, my daughter put on three coats, four hats, a tiger mask, and a princess crown then said to me, “Don’t I look beautiful?” And, as I type this I can hear our 6-year-old asking his teddy bear if he needs a time-out. There are so many moments I would just like to freeze.

I would like a power cord that allows me to plug it in whenever my battery is low. Having three kids and very little sleep is starting to wear down my original power supply.

Finally, could you slip some gratitude into my stocking? I know I could use it. I have so much to be thankful for. Too often I let the day to day grind keep me from remembering.

Thank you! Please forgive the messy house. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday!

Kathy

I will let you all know if I had better luck this year!

(Author’s Note: I posted my first “Letter to Santa” in December of 2010 on Momster.com where I wrote under the name “Blessed Mom Of Three.” This is an updated version.)

Comments

  3. Love this! I would also like a pause button, a memory card, and whatever will make my kids remember what I told them 5 min. ago. Another thing on my list is a magic voice that my chidren will actually hear, listen to, and acknowledge!

    Reply

  4. Hi Kathy-

    This was adorable and sweet. Oh, the gifts we mothers, (okay dads) parents need – all things that are free and completely organic, but unbelievably hard to come by!

    I loved the one about the GPS and the patience upgrade! This should go to Parent’s Magazine!!! I have a technology post too – just about apps. http://momsnewstage.blogspot.com/2011/07/top-ten-tuesday-top-ten-apps-moms-wish.html

    Thanks again for this wonderful post!

    Keesha at http://www.momsnewstage.blogspot.com/

    Reply

  5. Thank you guys so much!! Wouldn’t it be great if we really could get a few of these things!! Well a mom can dream can’t she!!

    It is so great to read your great comments and feedback!! Much love to you all!!!

    Reply

  6. I want a GPS to find my sanity. And my coffee cup. I poured myself a cup of coffee 30 minutes ago, and now I can’t find it.

    Kathy, what a pleasure to meet you and the other women at the BlogHer conference on Friday! Maybe we’ll see each other at the next conference over the summer.

    Reply

  7. Laura I didn’t even think of a GPS for my sanity, that is totally going on the list for next year!!! It was great to meet you too! I too am looking forward to the conference over the summer! Thanks for stopping by!!

    Reply

  12. kathy, your posts always make me smile, laugh and tear up. you’re such a creative writer and mother. i loved what you said about the “pause button”…couldn’t agree more.
    it is crazy to think that christmas will be in here in two months! i hope that santa is good to you this year…and i hope you get some of your list checked off 🙂
    wishing you a wonderful week!
    xoxo
    maria <3

    Reply

  13. Oh, I loved this! Yes two trips to Chuck E Cheese should earn you EVERYTHING on your list! I’ll also be asking for extra memory and a power cord! And I love that story about Lizzy. I can just imagine her all dressed up. 🙂

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  15. Oh boy, this sounds like a great list. Can I steal some of your ideas for my Santa letter this year? Maybe if a lot of us request the same things, Santa will have no excuse for forgetting. I also wish I had a battery charger and a pause button. This would make my life that much sweeter. Good luck to you this year. I bet Santa’s listening!

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  18. Kathy, I loved this post. I have to draft my letter to Santa. I want an extension cord to make the days and nights longer to provide more time so I can get to do everything I need to as well as everything I want to..

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  20. What a great idea! I think I’m going to write a list this year too – inspired by your post:) Some of your requests really made me laugh… hope you get lucky this year!
    All the best,
    Kristina

    Reply

  21. Ok, I read this on my iPhone last night so couldn’t comment then, but can I just say I haven’t laughed out loud like that in quite a few days. Thank you… I SO needed it. Kathy, I think you are my new best friend. I love your honesty and your writing. 🙂

    Blessings,
    Rosann

    Reply

  22. Hahaha, I was laughing all the way through when I realized that you’re right, every mom should start on her own Santa letter. Maybe I’ll start on mine, too. I’m with you on the power supply, it seems I need to recharge every minute of the day.
    As always it’s great to read your posts.

    Reply

  23. I’m thinking if we all send Santa a letter maybe we will get a few of the things we all could really use! You figure with all the apps they have, Santa could come up a few of these!! Lol!!

    Thank you all so much, I love to read all your great feedback and so appreciate all the support!! It is just amazing!! Much love to you all!!

    Reply

  25. Thank you, Kathy…I would like a pause button, too! Just tonight I walked by some college kids and had a momentary panic about all the things I want to teach my kids before they leave home! Love your blog!
    mamawolfe

    Reply

  27. Aww, I would love a “pause” button as well. My little baby boy seem to be growing really fast too. I feel like it was just yesterday that he was learning to lift his head up when he is on his belly. How time flies.

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  30. Brilliant! Anyone who survives 2 Chuck E Cheese parties in one year HAS to be on the nice list… Maybe he can throw in a little extra patience for me, too?

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  31. Kathy, I love this! Can’t you just hear that GPS woman saying, “recalculating” in her robotic tone over and over, searching for your body?!! I’m sure it’s not as bad as you say though;)

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  32. hahaha, oh I so love your letter (i can relate to every wish you made lol)! I guess Santa would be delighted too! Good luck! Hope Santa will not fail this time 🙂

    Reply

  35. I’m only six months into my motherhood, and I already feel like I need everything in your letter. It is nice to hear that other moms are in the same boat too. 🙂

    Reply

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Much thanks to Joseph Radigan, who besides being a great husband and father, also uses his talents to gently and ever so tactfully edit my blog. Joe is a business editor at Thomson Reuters in NY.
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